Talk to the Hand

What is it with pronunciation around here? My office is above Lal’s Supermarket. Try and tell that to anyone calling to ‘Ask your location’.

Lal's. No. Lalz. No. Laaaalssseee. No. Lalze. No. Lalllllsssss. No. Lalllllzzzzzeeeeeuuuughhhh. Not understanding.

It’s invariably a game played down to the final, desperate variation that sounds nothing like the original: “Lalluss!”

And then… Ohhhh! Lals! Why you not say Lals?

It’s also played in Arabic. Burghul. No. Burrrrgul. No. Buuuukhhuuullll. And so on.

But revenge is sweet. Good morning. Pardon? Good morniiing! Pardon?

As they say in Dubai English, I’m overdue to go on leave...