Help! I'm drowning in iconic luxury living!
Dubai's CityScape exhibition starts today and the normal background levels of iconic luxury living that reflects who you truly wish to be are now escalating to a dangerous degree. Gulf News came with a foil bag that screamed REALITY INSIDE, containing a bunch of deeply surreal leaflets.
The mindless hyperbole is incredible. You want to stick your fingers in your ears and cry lalalala until it all goes away. The radio's stacked with end to end soapy voices (why do agencies think the sound of some sarf London bird sounding like she's just taken in two bottles of Moet and a hard hit of amyl will make people believe the dream) and the press is pumped to bursting with insane, blissed out exhortations to dare to dream, live the life, love your dream, dream your dare.
Some examples for those of you unlucky enough not to be assailed by the constant high volume feelgood psychobabble today:
Let the love affair begin. Enter a sumptuous garden paradise that will invigorate the heart and the soul, and recapture the ultimate passion for life.
Unique lines and curves, terracotta roofs, warm colours and cobbled driveways...a stunning architectural concept in a background of perennial blue skies.
For as long as you refuse to compromise on your dreams, we will see eye to eye.
Sensual, expressive, opulent... all about living with a truly fashionable elegance.
Strategically cushioned on the iconic shoreline of Dubai...a home for the privileged few in refreshed luxury.
Prosper in life. Prosper in business. Prosper with one of the finest properties in Dubai. A place where prosperity beckons naturally.
the perfect destination where you can relax peacefully, bond with family, and enjoy life at its fullest.
Argh! Refreshed luxury? What the HELL is 'refreshed luxury'? Let alone a 'strategic cushion', an 'iconic shoreline' and we're not even going down the road of prosperity beckoning naturally!
Rather brilliantly, one developer is offering, in huge type across the page, "A lifestyle of excesses."
I quite like the sound of that one...