Wednesday, 18 July 2007

The Flight From Hell

The bloke in front is a serial recliner and has knocked the bottle on my food tray over twice. The bloke next to me is a hairy-armed expansionist and eats with his elbow waving in my face or hitting me constantly. The bloke behind me spends three hours cleaning his teeth with a sloppy sucking noise every 1-3 minutes, intervals nicely randomised to create a truly Chinese (although he might have been Korean) water torture effect. It sounds like the noises naughty children make in cinemas during love scenes. It's, literally, maddening. The bloke next to him is a serial talking bore with a honking, loud, nasal voice that cuts across every other sound and constantly interrupts your reading with banalities about life in the Middle East. At one stage he actually says 'You have to understand the Arab Mentality', which is a phrase that I loathe profoundly.

But at least they don't play a Modhesh video as we start our descent to Dubai...

* Rule One: Anyone who says 'You have to understand the Arab Mentality' invariably does so in tones that suggest they do. Rule Two: They don't. There isn't one. It's just dumb racism.

4 comments:

sabaza said...

I hear you were promptly greeted by Modhesh at Dubai International Airport...

Alexander said...

What can you do? Our only hope is to resist the Matrix - the 'Death to Modhesh' Facebook group holds out hope for us all...

Gianni said...

what a whiner !
C'mon, pony up and have technology solve the problem for you !

Tim said...

That's the problem with takign a private jet. Once you return to the real world of cattle class the agony is all the more noticeable...

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