Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Catch 22

Gulf News today has a one page feature titled ‘All you need to know about your ID card’ which doesn’t quite tell me all I need to know, because what I, personally, really, really need to know is why the website has been such a spectacular failure and why it hasn’t been fixed so that we’re all not involved in daily pointless three hour queues. Or why the application application doesn’t actually let me make an application or help me apply for an application. I’ll stop there. We got confused enough last time.

But, ignore my cavilling. Gulf News put its readers FAQ to two officials from EIDA, the Emirates Identity Authority, about the new ID.

One question was ‘It has become impossible to find registration forms or register on the website. Will I be penalised?’ The response? ‘It is your responsibility to register.’

Good. Well that's clear, then.

I also liked the response that said, of the Jan 1, 2009 'deadline' that ‘EIDA obeys government regulations and will demand the ID card from its employees and customers to provide services.’

Great. I can see it now...

Jan 2, 2009
‘Hello, I’d like to apply for an ID card.’
‘You have ID card?’
‘No, I’d like to apply for one.’
‘No service without ID card.’
‘But I don’t have one!’
‘Then no service is possible.’
‘How can I get one if you won’t give me one unless I have one?’
‘This your responsibility.’

But my favourite, out of a wonderful and richly informative piece (thanks, GN!) was this one:

What happens to the ID card if one dies after obtaining it?
‘The card gets automatically deactivated once we receive an automatic update from the government entity that authorises and authenticates this event.’

Authorises? I have to get permission to croak now?

I bet they'll need the ID card before duly issuing said permission.

Sheer magic!


Abu Dhabi/UAE Daily Photo said...

So are expats off the hook until 2010 or is that just a rumour?

Keefieboy said...

Is your Shiny a bit tarnished, Alexander?

alexander... said...

Just a rumour!

Oh dear, KB! Does it sound THAT tarnished?

Abu Dhabi Blogger said...

Expats are off the hook till 2010. It is a published fact. This was extremely ill-planned and I was waiting for a grand failure. Glad it happened.

sabaza said...


According to the enrollment strategy on the official Emirates ID website, the deadline for expats/residents who are non-nationals is the 1st of January 2011.

Now Stop your winging!

As for croaking, Alex, you may be required to, upon your death, present the ID Card in person. It will not be accepted if submitted by a coroner or any other entity responsible for the corpse!

Seabee said...

I liked a death being referred to as 'an event'

What a strange question it was that lead to it too, "What happens to the ID card if one dies after obtaining it?"
Would one give a damn?

i*maginate said...

The only way I'm going to believe what I read in your post is that GN actually lifted the responses from this post!

i*maginate said...

I am surprised the system "automatically" deactivates the card upon death...seems death is the only way to avoid beaureaucrazy here lol

i*maginate said...

ya oh I can't spell today :)

Shalini said...

Fantastic post....I need to bookmark it so I can come back to have a good laugh at that conversation that takes place on Jan 2nd!

We submitted our app to the post office and our "Smart Form" is yet to arrive...over 2 wks now...not so smart after all!

moryarti said...

So Alex, did u get your ID yet?

Graeme Baker said...

@AD Blogger: the published statement is a half-truth, really. You can register after the deadline but the deadline has not been extended.

What they warn is that you could come up against barriers after the deadline if you do not have an ID card. The scenario is that banks can turn you away if you do not have an ID card.

Given that it took me five forms of ID to get a sim card, that scenario is not as ridiculous as one might imagine.

I've heard of a lot of people saying they're quite prepared to empty their bank accounts on Dec 31.

Grumpy Goat said...

By this time next year the whole novelty of the ID card will have worn off and we'll all have to find something else to blog about.

'...about which to blog.'

Jayne said...

Absolutely classic! I also read the article in the Gulf Gnus this morning & chuckled to myself. If we have to present vehicle registration papers simply to get a salik tag & I had to fax a copy of my passport & visa in order to receive a parcel (of a wedding outfit)from a courier, then I think it's only right a dead person should personally notify the authorities that they have indeed pegged it!

Dubai Dude said...

Nice post. About the deadline, though its rumored but I don't think they will officially announce the extension.

Duabi Dude said...

hmmm... well... its extended, sort of!

I have written about it at http://tinyurl.com/6lgnwp

rosh said...

"Gulf Gnus "

LMAO Jayne!

From The Dungeons

Book Marketing And McNabb's Theory Of Multitouch

(Photo credit: Wikipedia ) I clearly want to tell the world about A Decent Bomber . This is perfectly natural, it's my latest...