Gulf News today has a one page feature titled ‘All you need to know about your ID card’ which doesn’t quite tell me all I need to know, because what I, personally, really, really need to know is why the website has been such a spectacular failure and why it hasn’t been fixed so that we’re all not involved in daily pointless three hour queues. Or why the application application doesn’t actually let me make an application or help me apply for an application. I’ll stop there. We got confused enough last time.
But, ignore my cavilling. Gulf News put its readers FAQ to two officials from EIDA, the Emirates Identity Authority, about the new ID.
One question was ‘It has become impossible to find registration forms or register on the website. Will I be penalised?’ The response? ‘It is your responsibility to register.’
Good. Well that's clear, then.
I also liked the response that said, of the Jan 1, 2009 'deadline' that ‘EIDA obeys government regulations and will demand the ID card from its employees and customers to provide services.’
Great. I can see it now...
Jan 2, 2009
‘Hello, I’d like to apply for an ID card.’
‘You have ID card?’
‘No, I’d like to apply for one.’
‘No service without ID card.’
‘But I don’t have one!’
‘Then no service is possible.’
‘How can I get one if you won’t give me one unless I have one?’
‘This your responsibility.’
But my favourite, out of a wonderful and richly informative piece (thanks, GN!) was this one:
What happens to the ID card if one dies after obtaining it?
‘The card gets automatically deactivated once we receive an automatic update from the government entity that authorises and authenticates this event.’
Authorises? I have to get permission to croak now?
I bet they'll need the ID card before duly issuing said permission.