Thursday, 10 June 2010

Spoilsport

Winning team of the 1895 Merchants Cup of the ...Image via Wikipedia
Right, just so we're abundantly clear on this, I don't like football. I don't dislike it, I mean chaque a son goute and all that, it's just that it leaves me cold. It does nothing for me. It doesn't float my boat.

Which means that the next three weeks are going to be hell. We're already bombarded with World Cup themed advertising, including football patterned doughnuts, radio ads where the sound of people screaming 'Goooooooaaaaaaaaaalllllll' suddenly erupt in my car (why do advertisers think that playing unpleasant sounds to people is likely to do anything other than irritate them?) and endless billboards featuring people who have painted their heads different colours in some display of crypto-neolithic tribalism.


The newspapers are filling with pictures of happy blowing plastic trumpets (apparently they're called vuvuzelas, which I didn't know before, so thanks for that) and even Twitter is starting to populate with 'Are you watching the game tonight?' tweets. I have the nasty feeling that the only thing to do is lock myself in a lead vault underground in a remote and unpopulated island. There are a number of people that would agree with this course of action as being as beneficial to them as it is to me, I know.

Mind you, at least it's minimised the appearances of that little yellow git...
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10 comments:

Grumpy Goat said...

I appear to share your views on the Round Ball Game. To paraphrase Terry Pratchett when he was on Question Time and invited to comment on some soccer-related query:

"Unlike the rest of the panel, I do not possess a football gene."

Susan said...

Totally agree - was trying to convince a certain radio station to declare a football free zone but they don't have the errrrrrm......balls

Bushmechanic said...

Maybe if the game started at 99 all, it would be interesting. Or perhaps limiting a full game to five minutes of play would help. Another alternative trialled between Liverpool and Sunderland with the use of multiple balls on the ground at once showed promise, particularly as one of the balls was a beach ball.

Aussie rules has the Antifootball League (symbolised by a cube shaped football). Is there an organisation championing the anti-cause for the round ball?
http://antifootballleague.org/

Luke said...

"Which means that the next three weeks are going to be hell."

Does that mean you'll be joyfully watching the semi-finals and final which take place in the fourth and fifth week?

Luke said...

"Which means that the next three weeks are going to be hell."

Does that mean you'll be joyfully watching the semi-finals and final which take place in the fourth and fifth week?

Mita said...

With you on this one - please ensure that Geekfest is Football free - please? Pretty please?

Phillipa said...

I detest all sport - particularly golf and I save my most toxic venom for tennis....but I have a helpless, overwhelming love for World Cup soccer. Every 4 years I become transfixed to my screen, wildy screaming 'it was a fkn foul!!!!!!' and then I go back to normal. I put this down to watching my son play soccer every.cold.wet.winter.weekend.morning for years. With nothing to do but watch, I got into it. But it was always the English parents who frothed at the mouth and were bad sports, (soccer in Australia is seen a pansy game or something only wogs do,) and I can see why you would recoil from some of the soccer fanaticism on display in Britain. I have the same dry wretch when it comes to Australian Rules or Rugby League or cricket or badminton or diving or swimming or the Olympics or rugby or lacrosse or hockey or ...

Bush Mechanic said...

Is anybody else getting text spam several times a day from parasites wanting to attach their (insert bloody company name here) to the World Cup?

Race Equality Secret Service said...

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BNP (Black National Party)

The BNP (Black National Party) has been created to expedite the work of the Race Equality Secret Service (RESS).

The BNP (Black National Party) gets stronger as "STORMFRONT" gets weaker.


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Jayne said...

Try living here (in SA) at the moment! What I know about soccer is dangerous & as far as I'm concerned it should be banned.
And
I swear I'll throw a black mamba at the next little bastard who blows his vuvuzela outside my house at 6am.

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