"Yaa Boo Sucks to You!" - Bush Gets Tough

According to reports from Voice of America, Iran's parliament has passed a resolution calling on the government to designate the United States Army and Central Intelligence Agency as "terrorist organizations."

This information comes to me courtesy of pal and deliciously manic pixie Sara Refai, who occasionally surfs the Internet looking for odd things, like a sort of collector of informational fag butts. I mean fag butts in the British rather than American sense, obviously.

The Iranian resolution, according to VoA, was approved Saturday by 215 lawmakers in Iran's 290-seat parliament, which is dominated by conservatives. The resolution says the U.S. Army and CIA should be considered terrorists because they provide support to Israel in its operations against Palestinian and Lebanese militants. The move is in retaliation for the the Bush administration branding the Iranians terrorists. The administration apparently said in August it is considering designating all or part of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards as a terrorist organization.

So the US calls Iran terrorists and Iran calls the US terrorists and that's supposed to take us forwards. Am I the only person in the world, I wonder, who worries that the people with their hands on those nasty little red buttons appear to think they're still on the playground?

Gross Stupidity

144 posts by me. Gross stupidity indeed...

Poetic Justice

I do hope you remember the story of Jordanian expatriate blogger Husain (Who-Sane) and his father, who was so appallingly treated in an Amman hospital that he is still recovering over a month later.

Husain's blog post on the affair started a hue and cry that made it to many other blogs and so to the daily newspapers and eventually resulted in such significant word of mouth and consequent broad public awareness of the tragic plight of his father and his ill-treatment at the hands of the hospital's staff that the King himself became involved.

Well, the director of the hospital has now been sacked.

Which is by no means the end of the story, but probably an appropriate stepping point.

Clarity

I suppose I’m going to have to word this one very carefully.

The head of Dubai police is quoted extensively today in Gulf News ‘warning against misinterpretation of the instructions concerning banning of detention of journalists working in the country’. The language, I hasten to add, is GN’s, not mine.

Lieutenant General Dahi Khalfan Tamim is quoted by GN: ‘…jounalists who do not do their job according to the norms of their profession will not be immune from punishment as per the law. And those found abusing the immunity will not be tolerated.’

Gulf News also reports Tamim as saying that journalists who undermine others and distribute baseless accusations against people and slander their reputation without the support of substantial evidence will be punished in accordance with the law.

Just in case someone out there finds this confusing, the piece ends with the following quote from the good general: ‘The immunity against imprisonment is limited to journalists doing their job when they report factual incidents. The immunity will not be enforced in case they harm others while expressing their personal views.’

For some reason this ‘clarification’ wasn’t splashed by every newspaper, as was the original statement from His Highness. This is a shame, as it is an important statement from the head of the police that should leave nobody in any doubt as to where they stand.

Cry Freedom!

His Highness Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum, vice-president and prime minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, yesterday issued instructions that journalists were not to be jailed for doing their work.

This news leads every newspaper in the UAE today and rightly so, because it is important news and a huge step forwards. The news, incidentally, followed two days after the announcement that two Khaleej Times journalists were to be jailed for libel.

Interestingly the newspapers were all silent on the subject the day after the libel case was announced. All apart from Emarat Al Youm, the Arabic language daily newspaper published by government-owned Arab Media Group, which also publishes the English language Emirates Today. Emarat Al Youm published an excoriating three-page piece on media freedom in the UAE, detailing issues and investigations that had been faced by many of the dailies published in the Emirates.

Emirates Today, silent on the issue of media freedom yesterday, takes great pains to splash the Sheikh Mohammed today - and to claim the credit for the move coming after its 'sister newspaper condemned the decision to imprison two journalists... the report categorically criticised the sentencing of two journalists...'

And so it did, but many will find Emirates Today riding on the back of the widely recognised strong editorial standards of its Arabic 'sister' paper just a little rich.

There's some interesting ambiguity in the reports. Making the announcement, Sheikh Abdullah Bin Zayed Al Nahyan, chairman of the National Media Council (NMC) said that no journalist is to be jailed for reasons related to his work, adding (according to Gulf News which is itself very careful to attribute the quote to WAM, the national news agency) that there are 'other measures that may be taken against journalists who break the press and publication law, but not jail.'

If you want to wade through it, then here's a link to a copy of that law. It's a fascinating read if you're anything to do with media in the region and is in PDF format.

The KT case, if it was heard under the publishing law (likely as the case was brought by the public prosecution and looks like it might have followed an earlier civil case in which KT was exonerated) appears to have been an argument between article 47, which permits the quotations of arguments and pleading which take place in the courts and article 79, which prohibits publishing details of an individual's private life. I may just be wrong there, it's difficult to tell because of the paucity of information in the media reports of the trial.

If we are reading the announcement about the publishing law right, this would also mean that the stipulated one to six month jail terms for offences under clauses 71 to 85 (too numerous to reproduce here, but worth looking through, believe me!) are also out. And that's really interesting.

The press and publication law is due to be replaced by newer legislation. However, it has to be said that this new legislation has been awaited for a long time - arguably since the announcement that Dubai Media City was to be established.

The two KT journalists have been freed on bail. It is only to be hoped that their case will, indeed, be covered by this directive and that this is a step on the road towards a more open media. However, the new media legislation - a huge task and a complex one - is really going to define that: as is the way it is implemented by the courts.

Incidentally, Gulf News' editorial today rumbles on about press freedom and makes the point that Sheikh Mohammed's move proves that the press truly is the fourth estate. I found that interesting, as here in the UAE it is not the fourth estate nor could it be. So that was a silly thing to say, wasn't it?

Mahmoud Ahmadinajad Rocks

I do wonder if I'm the only person who found Mahmoud Ahmadinajad's performance at Colombia University a compelling one. I do wonder if I'm the only person that thought his introduction and the official speech of welcome was insulting and immensely skewed. And I wonder if I'm the only person who finds the way that an American academic institution's officers treated a visiting head of state was appalling by any standard.

And yet Ahmadinajad put in an impressive performance. Sure, he was a bit too Godly for secular Western tastes at times. Sure, he wasn't going to take questions like 'Do you oppose a Jewish State of Israel?' head-on. But he did a damn good job, overall. He pointed out that his country couldn't equip civil airliners because of sanctions: that America, the UK, Germany and others had defaulted on contracts, had provided material assistance to Iraq in attacking Iran, had worked to destabilise his country's elected (for better or for worse) government. It wasn't a bad case to make and he made it pretty well.

What a shame he wasn't a lunatic demagogue with no sense at all of rhetoric or public speech. That would have made it so much easier to continue to mindlessley demonise him.

I do wonder what Georgie boy will do tomorrow against a man who is brighter and more charismatic than he is. I'm not saying Mahmoud isn't dangerous. But he's damn smart and, as he pointed out in his address, comes from a cultured and capable people.

Not bad. The jury's out, for sure... But you had to have watched the entire performance... How many of us got that chance?

And at the end, he waited for his host (he had already made the point that in his, the Middle Eastern, culture - and as an academic who had invited speakers to his university - you didn't insult a guest: it was a very pointed point in view of his embarrassing reception by the Colombia staff) to walk across the stage and shake his hand. Alone and suddenly small, he waited. And finally, long tens of seconds after the announcement that he had to leave and couldn't take more questions (and yet stood on the stage, not going anywhere), he got a brief, grudging touch of palms.

Mahmoud 1 America 0. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

The Finger

So we upgraded our server at work, which involved many technical things that are of no interest to anyone at all in the world whatsoever. One of the things that the upgrading man did was migrate my user profile to a new user profile (without, of course, telling me what he was about to do). This was lovely of him, but of course resulted in all sorts of personal data being misplaced and/or lost and some of my favourite apps requiring re-configuring and even partially reinstalling. I’ve lost all my Google Earth landmarks as well as a whole load of other stuff including Netvibes, Digg and other toolbar buttons on my browser. Oh, did I ever mention that I use the vastly superior and generally rather smashing Mozilla Firefox browser? I do commend it to you most highly.

Anyway...

Perhaps interestingly, the move also resulted in something of a logical conundrum. I use a ThinkPad (Lenovo is a client but, trust me, I don’t endorse client products lightly), which is a truly brilliant machine in so many ways. It has a biometric password system, so I am the only person who can use the machine and just swipe a finger rather than keying in a password. Which is cool.

When our number one software engineering and server migrating expert migrated my user profile, I became another person to the computer, which is now refusing to accept my index finger as a valid fingerprint because it was registered under the old user profile and therefore, as far as the computer is concerned, is the finger of another person.

So I can’t use my index finger to log on any more. I have to use my middle finger. I took great delight in showing the upgrading man which finger I am now using to log on as a result of his actions.

He didn’t seem impressed for some reason…

Ramadan Kareem

The Luddites at the Sharjah Electricity and Water Authority (SEWA) had messed up our bill payment because their payments are managed by Empost and therefore you can pay your bill outside their billing cycle. Once you’re there, you are guaranteed a ever-increasing stay in Outworld, with everything screwing up more and more as each month goes by and each payment getting credited in the wrong place at the wrong time. The only solution is to go down there physically and talk to someone with direct access to their prehistoric computer system and command of a UN recognised language. The latter is usually the big problem.

SEWA’s offices in Ramadan are a listless, torpid place: you can actually physically feel the effort as everyone flops around trying to conserve energy. Come to think of it, SEWA’s offices are like that outside Ramadan, too…

I was waiting to speak to the head of the front office, a laconic Palestinian bloke, who was dealing with an agitated local. The conversation tickled me pink, and went (taking up from when I rolled up, obviously) like this:

“The bill’s not paid and the computer has you down for disconnection. That’s why we disconnected it.”

“But the boss pays the bill and he’s not here.”

“I can’t help that. Your boss has to pay the bill.”

“We’ve been without water for two days. Just give me the key for the water!”

“I can’t do that. You have to pay the bill before we can reconnect it. It’s on the computer.”

“You’re a dog and so’s your computer!”

At which the local turned on his heel and strode off. Now calling someone a dog in the Arab world is not generally considered to be polite, to put it lightly.

“Ramadan Kareem” retorted the SEWA chap. It was delivered impeccably: a perfectly timed mixture of remonstration and effyewtoo. Ramadan Kareem is a traditional wish at Ramadan and means ‘Ramadan is generous’. The month is not only a religious observance but is also meant to be a time of piety, reflection and community and using bad language or being naughty are no-nos.

The local turned at the door. “And you know what you can do with your Ramadan Kareem, too!” He shouted.

I felt I had witnessed a moment of true humanity and was still grinning as I left a few minutes later, despite being considerably lighter in the pocket.

The Du Test

So Du announced it has reached 850,000 subscribers this week. I do find that interesting in view of the continuing consistency of the results I am receiving from applying The Du Test.

The Du Test is designed to gain a holistic view of the comparative penetration of mobile operators in a given market as a ratio of deployed client side devices in customers’ terminal prehensile upper organs. See?

It consists of giving your mobile number to people without the prefix that the TRA has insisted on introducing to differentiate the two operators. Etisalat’s is 050, Du’s is 055. So you talk to a hotel reservation service, or the electronics shop to arrange a delivery, or the bank to complain (invariably) or the taxi company. And you give your number as the last seven digits only.

Now, if something like a fifth of all people in the UAE (pre-amnesty) are using a Du mobile, you’d expect at least one of those conversations to contain the words: “Is that 050 or 055, sir?”

And not one, not.one, has done so yet.

Nobody I know uses a Du mobile. Some people registered and bought the sim because they could. Others bought in and rejected the service. But nobody I know, personally or professionally, uses it.

Where are they, then? Hands up, you 850,000 brave subscribers! Be heard! Wear it on your shirts with pride! Let us know that you DO du! Run round the malls singing Dudududududududuuu at the top of your voices!

Hmmm. Funny. Silence so far...

Ramadan Sparkles

There seems to be glass everywhere, for the last few days there have been small swathes of it on the roads: little sparklings at every U-turn and intersection. I’ve never seen so much glass.

And now, as I get to the head of the tailback on the Awir Road, there’s more glass than usual. It’s scattered across the road, a dragon’s treasure trove of scintillae glittering in the sunshine, a slight blue-green tinge to the little jewels, piled up like a Swarovski display cabinet. And in the middle of this sea of glass, an old Nissan Patrol, short wheel-base, lying on its roof, every window popped, the roof crushed. The Indian man lying flat on his back up along the concrete divider is wearing a pink shirt and brown trousers and he’s horribly still. The man in the blue shalwar khamis doesn’t quite know what to do: he picks the man’s head up in his arms, lays it down gently, stands up, crouches down, looks around.

The glass is crunching under the tires now, the feeling of fingers on dishwasher-dry squeaky crystal: the piercing squeak of glass on glass and occasional pop of shards squeezed into flight. A horrible, nails on blackboard shudder passes down my spine.

Another Ramadan evening drive home, then.