Flipped off

7Days reported yesterday on the Brit who was pulled over by Dubai's Finest and given a dressing down. As the boys in green left him he flipped 'em the digit, an action which has resulted in his getting a month in jail to be followed by summary deportation.

I do not believe he wanted to do that.

We have, all of us, had moments out here when the desire to display a number of fingers has overwhelmed us. To be honest, it's a miracle there haven't been more chainsaw massacres, especially for anyone that deals with HSBC, SEWA, the bloke that goes round the back to collect the parcels at the Post Office, the gang of murderous-looking Bashi Bazouks that work for the satellite company we use and the large number of other functionaries, officials and dignitaries that exist to frustrate us in myriad new and wonderful ways as part of our progress through each new and sunny day.

Of course, everything comes in batches. So you can guarantee that the Saturday round of chores that starts with a truck driver trying to kill you then moves on to a lost parcel at the post office, segues into having to resubmit your tenancy contract six times until the sulky, greasy-haired dwarf from hell behind the counter finally nods wordlessley and condescends to take your money, moves on to a good punch-up with the security guard at the supermarket who wants to staple your bags and then tape up your pockets in case you turn out to be part of a gang of international Snickers bar thieves and finally results in being pulled over by a couple of coppers who seem to have an itch to scratch.

When this happens, as inevitably it will, then I can only give one piece of advice. Keep your hands in your pockets. That way, the worst rap you'll get is for playing with yourself.