Book Post - Which Beirut Is Beirut Set In?

Cafés in downtown Beirut (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It's an interesting conundrum. I thought I had written a novel set, at least in the parts of the book that aren't racing across Europe, in modern Beirut.

In fact, Beirut - An Explosive Thriller celebrates a city I have huge time for, even as it recognises that very city is by far from being a perfect place. Beirut, as so much in life, is like a rotten mackerel in the moonlight - it both shines and stinks.

I happen to agree with Lebanese blogger Jad Aoun and his spirited campaign to award a 'looks like Beirut' certificate to people who persist on using that amazingly outdated and lazy simile. His Lebanon - Under Rug Swept blog is linked here - pop over and take a look, it's a hoot. The civil war is long past us and Lebanon is not a country at war. And yet neither is it a stable place right now, with the awful conflict in Syria on its very borders and its own tensions only barely kept at bay.

Gouraud’s bars, as ever, welcomed those who wanted to party and forget the woes of a world where violence and conflict were a distant memory but a constant worry. Orphaned by Belfast’s troubles, Lynch appreciated Beirut’s fragile peace and sectarian divides, the hot embers under the white ash on the surface of a fire that looked, to the casual observer, as if it had gone out. Lynch scowled as he passed a poster carrying Michel Freij’s smiling face, encircled in strong black script: ‘One Leader. One Lebanon.’
From Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

I wrote over on the Beirut The Book website about how annoying I found it when one of London's Fine Editors rejected Beirut with a comment about the book being set in a war torn country. I wanted my Beirut to reflect the city I enjoy so much, as I said over on the website, "Beirut today is a complex city, sexy and shabby, filled with promise and hopeless, vibrant and drab, it rarely fails to entertain and challenge. Plagued by power cuts, creaking infrastructure and endemic corruption, Beirut is full of life, creativity and celebration – even if that celebration sometimes takes on a brittle, desperate air."

So I was slightly taken aback when the book attracted a review on Amazon.com that said, "Olives did a great job of putting you in the middle of Palestinian/Israeli conflict with all its nuances, and Beirut continues the tradition by putting you in the middle of the current sectarian conflict in Lebanon...except it doesn't. As someone familiar with the Lebanese culture, I would argue that the conflicts in the book were far more accurate in the 80s as opposed to the current day. It was a fun read (thus the four stars), but it didn't quite match the Beirut I know."

Yet on Goodreads, one Lebanese reviewer says, "Insightful understanding of the Middle East and Beirut in particular, with details of everyday life only someone very familiar with the country can highlight."

Magda Abu-Fadil (a highly respected Lebanese journalist) reviewed the book in the Huffington Post with this to say, "The author has an uncanny understanding of the country's dynamics and power plays between the belligerent factions, post-civil war of 1975-1990.... Beirut is a gripping, fast-paced exciting book that may well jar Lebanese and others familiar with the city and its heavy legacy. But it's a must read."

Is Beirut - An Explosive Thriller reflective of modern Beirut? I had thought so, particularly in light of my hangup about the city being portrayed as still in the grip of that awful civil war. But it appears to be a subject of debate - which Beirut is portrayed in Beirut?

You never know. If this develops into a ding-dong, I might even sell a couple of books! Beirut has remained controversy-free so far, unlike Libro Non Grata novel Olives. And as Albawaba pointed out in this here article, there's nothing like the sniff of a whiff of controversy!

BY THE WAY if you'd like to get a FREE copy of Olives - A Violent Romance as an ebook, just sign up to the emailer on the top right of this page and get inside track articles, giveaways, event info, updates and other occasional bits and bobs from scandalous me...

You Got Mail

E-mail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One way and another, I do quite a bit of talking and presenting about writing, as well as book club meetings and other stuff like giveaways all in the name of promoting things literate in general and my books in specific.

So it seemed sensible to start a mailing list to let anyone who might be interested in such things stay in touch with the occasional update (We're not talking daily or anything as hectic as that, believe me!), as well as give me an easy way to share files, presentations and other stuff about writing, reading and books.

For instance, there's an upcoming 48 hours of FREE Space on Kindle. I mean, would you want to miss that?

You can signup on the right here. I'll even throw in a 50% off the ebook of Olives - A Violent Romance to give you an unmissable incentive to give me your soul.

Beirut - Explosive Thrills At TwitBookClub

Dubai's Twitter Book Club - or @TwitBookClub as it's fondly known - is a regular gathering of book reading types enabled by that most real time of fun technologies, Twitter.

They normally meet at Wild Peeta (the famously social shawarma joint) at Dubai World Trade Centre, but that's temporarily out of order so this Saturday will see them meeting at Café Nero DWTC instead (at 11am, as you asked). The TwitBookClub website is linked here.

This'll be the first book club outing for Beirut, and should be interesting. It was certainly an eye opener talking to book clubs about Olives last year, readers' perspectives are a wonderful thing indeed to encounter. You find people question motives, examine reactions and generally go about prodding and tweaking your work in ways you simply wouldn't have thought possible. Beirut, being quite a badly behaved book, will probably respond to a tweak with a hefty kick in the groin, but let's see...

I have generally gone much easier on promoting Beirut than I did with Olives (if you're a regular, you will no doubt have noticed and possibly even been appreciative), which has had the direct  impact of a lower uptake - noise begets noise, so a softly softly approach has really meant little conversation around the book, fewer reviews and so on. This, one suspects, might be about to change.

In the meantime, do feel free to buy and speedread Beirut - An Explosive Thriller in time for this Saturday's meeting (it's in all good UAE bookshops as well as available from Amazon, iBooks et al) or, if you've read the book and you'd like to complain or apply for a refund, I'll be at Café Nero on Saturday facing a branch loaded with Tweeters!!!

Beirut - An Explosive Thriller. Launched.

Dubai (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dubai's not really the kind of place you'd expect to find an apres-ski joint, but sure enough, funky evening spot Apres overlooks the indoor ski slope crowning that most packed of shopping malls, the Mall of the Emirates.

I can never go there without thinking of Louis, the small child in Sarah's class whose hand shot up as the class was naming the seven emirates of the UAE, claiming to know an eighth emirate. Puzzled, Sarah duly fell for it and asked what the eighth emirate might be. "Mall of the Emirates!" Louis pronounced with pride.

So Apres was where we ended up after the launch of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller. Welcomed with a glass of bubbly laid on  by the nice chaps there, we stayed chatting and drinking until well past our bedtime. Earlier, I had been helped to launch Beirut by a stellar cast - poet Frank Dullaghan took us to Gerald Lynch's Irish boyhood, rapper Jibberish took a car chase through Chatila and turned it into a rap, which was pretty cool, to be honest; actress Dana Dajani introduced us to smoky siren Marcelle Aboud (ably helped by Frank with the Irish accompaniment) and orator Kevin Simpson replayed Michel Freij's great speech in Martyr's Square. Enjoyed by the audience, the performances were a revelation to me - it's odd to hear your words re-interpreted, acted and declaimed in those different voices.

Mr Siju and the nice chaps from Jashanmal's laid on the support, Apres laid on the bubbles and many people kindly came along and laid on their support, which was wonderful. Books were duly sold and signed and that, as they say, was that.

So now Beirut - An Explosive Thriller has been launched, you can go here and buy a print copy or ebook anywhere in the world, but in the UAE you can now go to any Jashanmals or Spinneys bookshop and get your very own print copy. In the coming couple of weeks, other bookstores will also be ordering and stocking Beirut. Which is nice.

The Launch of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller. You are invited.

Come along, have some fun. Meet some pals, get a signed book. Hell, if you want to treasure a collector's piece, get an unsigned book.

The 'performances' alone will be worth the trip - four very different voices and styles interpreting passages from the book as they see fit - with no restrictions on how or what they choose to do. Their chosen approaches and performances will be as much of a surprise to me as they will to you.

If you should by any chance want to do something as old fashioned as RSVP, you can do that right here. 

STOP PRESS. We're going to have an after party at indoor ski-slope overlooking place to get piste, Apres. They're very kindly welcoming us with a glass of bubbles too, just to help the celebration get going!

Book Post - A Brace Of Nukes

He remembered the cold gloom, the sound of dripping water and the looming shapes in the darkness beyond the finger of grey light the gap in the door let in. Days after, he had returned with a torch and his two closest friends for safety in numbers. They fought over who went first, almost dropping the torch in their fear. Emboldened by the silence, fearful of the echoes, they crept farther down the iron staircase and onto the wide concrete floor, huge doors to their left and right. One of the nearest doors was open, marginally, and they sidled in to prise open one of the stacks of crates. What they found scared them so much they ran out, removed the prop and let the door slam shut. They covered the whole thing up with undergrowth again. As they stood in the clearing, shivering with the cold and fear, they nicked their hands with Hoffmann’s knife and took a blood oath never again to mention the dark cavern to anyone except each other.
From Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

Gerhardt Hoffman sells two Oka nuclear warheads through arms dealer Peter Meier to future Lebanese President Michel Freij. Hoffman, a portly bankrupt, had discovered them as a child, playing in the woods on the East German/Czech border.

The Oka warheads in Beirut - An Explosive Thriller are, worryingly, pretty soundly researched. The OTR-23 Oka class missile (Designated by NATO as the SS-23 Spider) was developed in 1980 by the Soviets to carry both conventional and nuclear payloads and be launched from mobile launchers. It took over as a short/medium range mobile tactical missile system from the infamous SCUD B - the missile that Saddam had so much fun with.

The nuclear warhead, designated 9N63, was detachable and, as featured in Beirut, is about three metres long.  The Oka's successor, made by the same company, is the Iskander, currently in deployment by Russia and armed (we are told) with only conventional warheads.

A large number of Oka missiles were covertly deployed by the Soviets in the late 1980s to Warsaw pact countries to get around INF treaty (Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces) limitations. The INF treaty was intended to eliminate short-range nuclear missiles, but the Soviets tried to fly the Oka under the radar, claiming it wasn't covered by the treaty. This was followed by a round of Soviet obfuscation that made it hard to trace quite what was deployed and stored quite where.

Over 120 missiles were involved in the covert redeployment of Oka missiles – potentially including the 9N63 nuclear warheads. There is some evidence that loading equipment associated with handling the detachable nuclear warheads was part of that deployment, which would lead to the conclusion that the Soviet Union shipped nuclear warheads covertly to facilities in Warsaw pact nations.

Adding to the confusion, Czechoslovakia (which possessed 24 of the Oka missiles) subsequently split into two nations. The Slovaks claimed their missiles 'lacked key components' for the deployment of the 9N63 warhead.

Documented remaining stockpiles of the Oka were destroyed by both the Czech Republic and, finally in late 1999, Slovakia – it is now obsolete and all remaining Oka missiles and 9N63 warheads have been confirmed as destroyed.

Well, apart from two...

Book Post: Launching Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

The Middle East print edition of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller will be launched on December 1st 2012 at Jashanmal's book store, Mall of the Emirates at 7pm.

I'll be joined by friends - and friends of friends - and it should be a load of fun. I've been toying with the idea of readings as performances. Book readings are often dry things, all polite listening and stumbling renditions of pieces of text. I wanted to see what would happen if I gave up my book into the hands of performers. So the event will feature performances from a rapper, a poet, an actress and a well-known, larger than life figure. Each one will interpret what they're reading as they see fit, perform it as they see fit. It should be compelling stuff...

The cover is pictured above. If the spine seems a little wide, that's because the Beirut - An Explosive thriller Middle East edition is in standard 'thriller' format - 11x17.5 cm and is a whopping 456 pages long. Olives followed the larger 5x8 format dictated by POD machines. The Middle East Beirut has been reformatted - I might add lovingly - to a more attractive size.

I'll share more details next week as my ducks line up. In the meantime, I'm doing a workshop for UAE educationalists in RAK later this month on narrative in Arab culture and guesting on blogs like a blogpost guesting fiend.

Book Post - Shopping Beirut

Part of my list of the fourteen London publishers Robin shopped 'Beirut'  

to - pretty much a 'who's who' of publishing. One by one, I got to cross 'em off...

I started writing Beirut - An Explosive Thriller in late 2009, just after a reader working for British literary agent called Eve White rejected Olives - A Violent Romance after a ‘full read’ with the comment that it wasn’t dramatic enough. Right, I thought. If you want dramatic, mate, you can have it. It wasn't until I'd done with the book that I realised I had created precisely the type of novel I'd set out to spoof with my first attempt at a book, the amusing Space (although I have to point out that Space's first Amazon review cites the book as almost entirely unamusing!).

I finished in June 2010, but it wasn’t until spring 2011 Beirut was picked up by literary agent Robin Wade, who signed me on the strength of it.

Now, for the uninitiated, getting signed by an agent is quite a deal. Step one is typically a query letter which may lead to a request for the 'first three', which is the first fifty pages of your book and a synopsis. If this pushes more of the right buttons, an agent will ask for a 'full read' - by this stage you're very close to the top of the slush pile - let us not forget agents in the UK will receive something like forty brown envelopes full of someone's hope a day. If an agent signs you, you're bloody well made. They're not charity cases, these boys, they're running businesses with that most admirable of objectives in mind - making money. An agent signing you means they think you have commercial potential in the 'competitive market' they all remember to mention in their rejection letters.

I can't begin to tell you how much hope was packed in my heart as Robin touted Beirut - An Explosive Thriller around the London Book Fair. But I was giddy with it - 250 rejections from agents later, I was actually in with a chance here. Robin faithfully reported back on the reactions he got back from each editor. To a man, they rejected it. What's more, it took them seven months to get around to it! The rejection that hurt most praised the book’s qualities but noted the editor in question ‘couldn’t see it selling in supermarkets’.      

"There are lots of elements to it that I like – there’s an austere, almost Le Carre feel which I like and the author can clearly write. The dialogue and plotting stood out for me in particular. I’m afraid though that it is – for my purposes – a bit too low-key; the ‘commercial’ bit of my job title requires me to pick out titles which are going to appeal directly to supermarkets and the mass-market, and I feel that this would be too difficult a sell in that context. "     

It was that reaction pushed me over the edge into self-publishing. "Low key"? The book's an adrenaline soaked catalogue of machismo lunacy and violence! Caviling apart, there was clearly a major change – and massive contraction – taking place in the world of ‘traditional’ publishing and it wasn’t favouring a new author writing hard-to-peg novels about the Middle East.I was clearly wasting my time at the gates of Gormenghast castle. It was time to pack up my motley collection of carvings and take them to market myself.

The whole process had wasted a year. I lost little time in getting Olives into print in December 2011, with a view to following with Beirut the next Spring. In retrospect, this was silly - the whole wearying cycle of promotion sucks down time, as does editing and polishing - publishing Olives taught me an awful lot, not the least lesson being that there are readers out there. I'm not kidding - up until that point it had been about me and my books. Now it was about them and my books. Meeting readers, talking about the characters, their motivations and feelings with complete strangers changes the way you write, it really does. And then Beirut went off for editing and I started getting permissions, readying different files for print, Kindle, and ePub formats.

It's all taken pretty much a year. but a year better spent than one waiting around for publishers to think of new and inspiring ways to say no.

So on December 1st, at 7pm, the Middle East print edition of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller will launch at Jashanmal's book store at the Mall of the Emirates, Dubai. If you can't wait, or you're not in the UAE, you can buy your very own copy from the outlets listed here. The launch is going to be a lot of fun and I'll share details as I confirm things, but do mark the date in your diary!

Book Post - Beirut In Print

Beirut - An Explosive Thriller will be in UAE bookshops by December. With a little luck (and the permission of censors) it will go on sale in Lebanon some time in January. If there's a Lebanon left for it to go on sale in.


It's odd, watching history threaten to take away the setting of your book. I suppose few writers have that problem, but writing books framed by the backdrop of the Middle East makes it something of an occupational hazard. The odd thing is I have long feared Israeli action against Iran's nuclear programme would sideline the plot of Beirut, I hadn't reckoned on Syria collapsing and drawing Lebanon into its conflict.

I remain an optimist, though. Lebanon has been through a number of aftershocks since the 15-year earthquake that flattened Beirut and claimed 150,000 lives. It can muddle through this one, too. With many friends there, with a longstanding fondness for the city, I have to believe that.

Meanwhile, I've got my UAE permission to print, I just have to get my ISBN and finish formatting the manuscript for the book's prnted size- this one will be in a standard format for thrillers, smaller than Olives - A Violent Romance and chunkier, too.

I'd much rather have stayed with an online only edition, but there are too many hurdles for the majority of people in the UAE to jump - it's clear that, as with Olives, people want to buy from a local bookshop rather than go online and the majority still don't have e-readers or use their tablets as reading devices. Amazon, and Apple et al, still do not serve content to this region. And I have the strong feeling that the print edition of Olives generated much of the word of mouth that fuelled online sales (as of now, sales have been split pretty evenly between the Middle East and International editions).

I'm planning on a launch sometime in the first week of December - as things get finalised you will be the first to know. In the meantime, start saving up (cover price will be Dhs59) or if you can't wait, you can go here to buy Beirut in print, delivered to your doorstep FREE or as an ebook which is just as free for delivery and considerably faster.

Book Post - Beirut And The Disposable Character

   Lynch called across to Leila. ‘Where’s Deir Na’ee?’
   She uncurled and came to him, looking over his shoulder at the screen, her blouse opening to show the warm brown mound of her breast. ‘Deir Na’ee? The lonely home? Sounds like something up in the Bekaa. Never heard of it. Try Googling it. Might be a village somewhere.’
   ‘And “Spike”?’
   She paused, then turned to regain her place on the sofa. ‘No idea, habibi. I’m not a phone book.’
   Lynch chuckled, the search phrase ‘Deir Na’ee’ for some reason returning the Irish poem A bhonnán bhuí, The Yellow Bittern. He read it out loud, the Irish words coming back to him from the mists of distant childhood, the disinfectant reek of the Sisters of Charity’s classroom. ‘A bhonnán bhuí, is é mo léan do luí, Is do chnámha sínte tar éis do ghrinn, Is chan easba bidh ach díobháil dí, a d'fhág i do luí thú ar chúl do chinn.’
   Leila was laughing at him. ‘What are you saying?’
   ‘It’s Irish. Deir Na’ee gets that in Google. Christ alone knows why.’
   ‘That is not a language. It sounds like dogs fighting.’
   ‘Póg mo thóin.’
   From Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

Today brings a treat - a guest post and quizzing from Micheline Hazou, patroness of genteel blog MichCafé, friend and Beirut wandering companion as well as beta reader of Beirut – An Explosive Thriller...

It is quite exciting to be a beta reader. It is also something I take very seriously.

I had the privilege to beta-read Alexander McNabb’s first novel, Olives – A Violent Romance. I was even more flattered to be offered the chance to beta-read Beirut – An Explosive Thriller a couple of months ago.

It’s not as easy as it seems, because you often get sucked up in the story and forget to keep an eye out for anything that might be wrong, from proofreading to translations and anything you don’t quite like. So I had to re-read many a chapter with that in mind.

From the first few pages of Beirut I felt Alex had come into his own. I got caught up in the “explosive” thriller and rediscovered the main character, Gerald Lynch, in another light. Whereas he had seemed pompous, uptight and unlikeable in Olives, here he is chasing the bad guys with a conscience and sexy on top of it.

As with Olives, I was drawn by the local female character in the book. I can identify with them. And I wonder why they are so disposable. As most of you have read Olives by now, you must know Aisha Dajani’s fate. But Leila Medawar? Why, Alex?

As described in the book, Leila Medawar is the “student activist, dissident, blogger and poet to the leftist anti-sectarian intelligentsia. Born into wealth and privilege she was heart-rendingly idealistic… beautiful dark haired Leila, lover of freedom, equality and British spies. Well, spy.”

Without giving too much away, here are a few questions I would like to ask about Leila Medawar, Gerald Lynch’s lover:

I like Leila Medawar. She humanizes Lynch. Why is she so disposable?
That's partly why she's there. And partly it seals her fate. It's odd but I seem to have this habit of killing the characters I love the most, from the delicious Kylie in my first book, Space, through to a number of characters in Olives, Beirut and, yes, Shemlan.

I often recall an incident involving The Niece From Hell. We were on a walk along the Thames when I was pulled up by the realisation I recognised a particular bench on the towpath. ‘Wow,’ I exclaimed. ‘I killed a guy on this bench!’

The niece glanced carelessly at the bench and shrugged. ‘Whatever.’

I know I am involved in murdering a number of attractive Arab women, but don't take that personally - I'm an equal opportunities killer. I do for a number of occidental men in my books too. And some of them are quite ugly.

On the bright side, it's probably a good thing I'm getting this stuff out of my system. And anyway, there are a thousand and one Leilas...

I sound like I’m gabbling guiltily. I probably am.

How come she knew he was in intelligence?
It's how he met her - when on a surveillance job involving a student protest. In fact, that’s not mentioned until much later in the book in the 'beta' MS but part of the feedback from readers made me bring that history right up front.

Lynch isn't really very good at observing some of the traditional modalities of intelligence, he's far too Arabised for that. Leila is very much into his 'home life'. They live a cocooned existence together - she has his key, they keep their relationship secret (she leaves the room when Palmer comes from the embassy with Lynch's ticket because they have agreed discretion is the way to go for both of them) and Lynch knows who she is. She trusts him not to spy on her and he, I rather think, trusts her not to use her relationship with him in her activities.

Where is Leila’s family? How is it that she was able to live with Lynch, and then in the flat he provided her?
She doesn't actually live with him, just has a key and comes around a lot. He was hoping the flat in Hamra would be a bolthole for them both but was surprised by the strength of her reaction to the news he would be shacking up with another spy type.

Her family is living in Dubai, as it happens - but she's got away with going back to Beirut to study at AUB. That gives her independence beyond reason - and the freedom to go out with a man over twice her age.

And no, it's not one of my secret fantasies sneaking into a book. There's a certain journalist living in Ain Mreisse who might be influencing some of Lynch's lifestyle...

What is the story of the Orrefors tumbler?
I've long been a huge fan of Orrefors glass and have a number of those beautiful pieces with the blue teardrop.  It just seemed natural that it should sneak into the book - and tells us that Leila's moneyed, incidentally. That stuff's hideous expensive.

Leila being particular about how she takes her whisky is a mannerism I stole from a rather lovely Lebanese friend...

I also let my personal preferences sneak in with the Lamiable champagne later in the book, which is a stunning single grower extra brut - a hard champagne to make well as it has little or no 'dosage' and is therefore incredibly dry. I have a nice chap called Charles who ships it to me in the UK. One has a literary agent and a vintner, don't you know...

Why the choice of Proust? And which of his works was she reading? 
Remembrance of things past of course, silly! Probably The Prisoner, a reflection of Lynch’s ardour for her mixed with a desire to control her, perhaps why he offers her the flat in Hamra. Leila’s not Albertine, of course – but she is enjoying casting herself in the role.

Leila is possibly reading it because she likes Proust, or because she likes to be seen to be liking Proust – that’s a very Lebanese dilemma. She was reading it in the original French because, of course, she speaks French like a native. And she likes to tell friends she finds the Moncrieff translation sloppy.

Why did Lynch only try calling her? Why didn’t he go over to see her? And why didn’t she have protection?
He was scared of finding some ape from AUB in her bed. He was also rather busy saving the world and flying to and from Europe. He talked to the concierge, too, which just confirms his worst fears.

Lynch had checked with the concierge and yes, she moved in to the flat in Hamra. Yes, she had indeed taken male company, the old crone told Lynch, laughing dirtily and pocketing the fifty thousand lire tip.

There was no protection - Lynch operates as a lone wolf most of the time, he's not often part of the 'framework', but a maverick operator Channing uses for the messy stuff. His approach to intelligence is 'go local, go low-key' rather than bringing in the Keystone cops every time. It's one reason why he prefers to use a servees rather than an embassy car.

Part of Lynch would also let her cool her heels, perhaps even be angry at her and take an 'Youse know what? F youse too' approach to her flouncing off like that. And yet she's under his skin. Not quite as much as Michel gets under hers, though...

Does Lynch fall in love again in Shemlan (please say yes…).
No, but Shemlan is very much a love story – although not a very straightforward one.

Don't forget all you need is to click on this here handy link to get your own print copy of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller shipped to your doorstep or downloaded instantly to your reader!

The Displaced Nation

Just in case you could care less, I was interviewed recently by US-based expat blog The Displaced Nation and they posted it today. A wide-ranging chat, we talk about how I got to the Middle East, books, wine, literary controversy and stuff.

It's linked here.

In one of those odd little marvels of serendipity that is the Internet-driven process known as 'discovery', Displaced Nation's ML Awanohara was trawling the Interwebs looking for expat food stuff and stubbed her toe on dead food blog The Fat Expat. That led her to my books and a quick read later she was hot on the interview trail.

Unlike many writer friends who have an abhorrence for the evils of publicity, I enjoy interviews. They often focus on my favourite subject. Me. I must check with my agent and see if that seems immodest. I'm sure it's fine...

Book Post. Beirut And Prostitutes

   She was silk and she was jasmine, ivory and frankincense, her skin a pale golden slide for the smooth satin riding up her legs as she mounted the stairs. Her hips moving under the wrap were a provocation, her long hair cascaded down her mobile back.
   Reaching the top ahead of them, she strutted across the dance floor and sat on a high stool at the bar. Lynch ducked behind the counter and started to fix coffee at the gleaming red espresso station. This was obviously some sort of well-worn ritual – Nathalie noticed Lynch’s deft movements as he manipulated the machine.
   The white filter of Marcelle Aboud’s cigarette was reddened by her lipstick, her dark, kohl-lined eyes coolly gauging Nathalie as the younger woman waited, her hand resting on the back of a bar stool.
   ‘Come, sit,’ Marcelle purred, gesturing at the stool. Her very movements were languorous and sensual, her voice husky, rolling and dirty. Nathalie caught the flash of a full breast trying to escape the cascades of smooth bronze material as Marcelle turned her magnificent face to Lynch.
   ‘So you’re buying or selling, Lynch?’
   He brought the espresso cup over to her. ‘Her? You can have her for free.’
   Nathalie twisted off her stool. ‘Sorry, not putting up with this.’
   ‘Sit down,’ Marcelle’s languorous voice wasn’t raised, but her tone stopped Nathalie in her tracks. ‘Make her a coffee, Lynch, Play nicely.’
   Lynch busied himself with the espresso machine as Marcelle examined Nathalie, who met the dark brown eyes after they finished travelling lazily up her body like a slow touch. The clink of the espresso cup on the bar broke the moment.
   Marcelle turned to Lynch. ‘So what do you want, you and your assistant?’
   Lynch waited behind the bar with his hands laid on the marble top. Nathalie was surprised at how he eased into the role of barman and fancied perhaps he had worked here many, many years ago as a young man.
From Beirut – An Explosive Thriller

Who did you think of when you created Marcelle?
There was no inspiration as such for Marcelle, she just happened that way. Probably Jessica Rabbit. I suppose in the same way as Anne was a metaphor for Paul’s homeland and Aisha Jordan in Olives – A Violent Romance, Marcelle is Beirut. She’s beautiful, sinful, capricious and a little dangerous.

Why a prostitute? Could she have been doing something else instead and still be integral to the plot?
Perhaps, but she just wouldn’t have been the same if she was a welder, would she? Marcelle is part of Lynch’s seamy side, the underworld of a city and someone with power and contacts in her own strange way. She knows men, she knows Lynch and is perhaps a counterpoint to his intensity and anger. Their relationship is stormy and yet they clearly are very fond of each other.

Nathalie’s big contact is the wealthy and philanthropic Vivienne Chalabi, Lynch’s is the madam of a cat house. It sort of speaks to their respective approaches to life and, I guess, their work...

There’s a hint of a past with Lynch...
Oh yes. It’s not fully explored in Beirut, but Lynch first lived in Beirut towards the end of the civil war, sent undercover to track down some unpleasant IRA drug runners and close the gold seam. His ‘cover’ was working as a barman at Marcelle’s.

Lebanese politics is about religion, won't the Marcelle character create more controversy for you?
What, as much as a future president whose daddy was a warlord and who has a taste for nuclear warheads? There’s bound to be someone who finds something offensive in Beirut – An Explosive Thriller, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a by-product of the lack of fiction in the region, this inability to divorce creativity from reality.

I’m looking forward to the first person telling me there are no prostitutes in Lebanon. I already had one person point out that Marcelle couldn’t possibly be Christian, if she was a prostitute she’d be Shia. Which tells you more about Lebanon than I’d care to admit.

I also think you can approach this whole angle of controversy two ways. You could tiptoe around in a constant state of fear and dumb down everything you do so it couldn’t possibly offend or be contrary to anyone’s preconceptions or the way they publicly present themselves while acting differently privately. Or you can just get on and do your thing with integrity, making it as good as you can and perhaps even playing with some of the situations and personalities you encounter in this part of the world.

How did you research Lebanese bordellos?
Cheeky! I made it up. I’ve never been in one. Honest. Ask the Spot On girls, they keep me out of trouble.

Is Marcelle in the next book?
Now that would simply be telling...

Interview by Beirut - An Explosive Thriller beta reader Mita Ray.

The Beirut Website - Including Handy Links to Buy eBooks or Print Books is here!

Book Post: An Interview With Gerald Lynch

Bob Studholme is a lecturer in English at the Al Ain branch of Abu Dhabi University. One of the beta readers who gave valuable and extensive early feedback on the book, he volunteered to interview Gerald Lynch, the Northern Iriish spy who plays such a key role in Olives - A Violent Romance (where all agree he is a complete cad) and Beirut - An Explosive Thriller (where readers learn that Paul Stokes' view of Lynch might have been somewhat skewed by circumstance).

Either way, Bob let himself in for this. And here's how it went:

An unnamed hotel in Beirut. Yesterday.

 

   A knock sounds on the door.
  'Come.'
  Bob Studholme slinks into the room with a nervous grin. A university lecturer, he’s been forced to adopt the role of journalist and, even if he lectures in English, the prospect of facing down a difficult subject in person is not one he had counted on actually having to physically endure. He feels sweaty. Difficult doesn’t quite do it justice, he thinks. Dangerous. He gulps.
  The man he is here to meet stands, brushing his trouser legs. Studholme advances, his hand held out. He bobs a little. The man shakes the proffered hand and gestures to the armchair opposite his own. Studholme sits.
  ‘Would you like a drink? Something for the nerves?’ says Gerald Lynch.
  Peering up, he nods. ‘Umm, yes please.’
  Lynch wanders to the sideboard and fixes two stiff scotches. ‘Here. You’ll take ice.’
  Studholme almost spills the drink, gulping it too fast and wiping his bearded chin with the back of his hand.
  ‘So they’ve sent you to interrogate me, is it?’
  ‘Well, not so much that as interview you.’ He finishes the drink and Lynch pours him another.
  ‘Let’s get it over with then,’ the Irishman sits back, his hands steepled and his blue-eyed regard on the English lecturer with his notebook and HB pencil. Studholme produces a voice recorder and places it on the table between them. His voice is stronger than he feels.
  ‘To start with the one that puzzles me most, Mr. Lynch. You are an Irishman.  A Catholic Irishman from the North, where it matters even more than it does in the South. So why are you working for the Empire?’
  Lynch waves his condensation-frosted glass at Studholme, his finger pointing. ‘You’re a cheeky bugger, aren’t you? That’s a fine start, that is.’
  Studholme, fortified by whisky, stands his ground. There is a long silence. Lynch turns to put his drink down.
  ‘Let me tell you something, Bob. It is Bob, isn’t it?’ Studholme nods his assent. ‘I grew up in an orphanage but they put me out to a family whose kid was on heroin. He died and they blamed me for the habit their son had and they didn’t know about. So I got sent back. A few years later I met the dealer who sold him that last hit and he was an IRA man. That was the day the truth first hit me. They didn’t mind how they made the money to buy guns, see? They became criminals, as bad for decent folk trying to get by as the Brits, even worse. I used to join in, throwing stones and stuff down on the Falls Road. But after that I sort of lost my appetite for people who deal heroin for their so-called fight for freedom. So when the Brits came calling, I answered.’
  ‘Still, working for the people that you do has got to mean working with the British Establishment. Forgive me for saying it, but I can't see that being a mix of personality types that is exactly made in Heaven. In fact, I think you'd piss each other off royally. How do you get on with your superiors?’
  Lynch laughs. ‘You’d be right on the money there. Look, you have to understand how these people work. They don’t really care too much for the niceties of life, they have a job to do. And I’m the guy they like to give the messy stuff to. Channing understands the Middle East is hardly what you might call a ...’ Lynch makes air quotes, ‘conventional environment. So we have conventional assets in the region but it suits him to have someone around who isn’t too ...’ Lynch reaches for his drink and takes a slug. ‘Prissy. As far as getting along, we rub along okay as long as we avoid each other.’
  Lynch leans back and favours the room with an indifferent glance as Studholme scratches away at his notebook with the pencil.
  ‘You writing shorthand there, Bob, are you?’
  ‘Umm, no. Just catching up.’
  ‘Thought they taught you journalists shorthand. ‘spose they just teach you Facebook now, is it?’
  Studholme grinns weakly, sips his drink and raises his gaze to meet Lynch’s intensity. ‘I can't remember who was supposed to have said it, but there is a story of a Lebanese whose reaction to Churchill's description of Russia (a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma) was to say that in Lebanon, such stories are told to little kids, who like simple tales. So how do you find working there? And, while we're on the subject, how do you get on with your counterparts in the Lebanese intelligence world?’
  ‘There’s one simple law in the Middle East. “My brother against my cousin, my cousin against the stranger.” Once you cop on to that, you’ll be fine. I like working here plenty, you don’t get bored easy here. Mostly my masters leave me alone, sometimes they remember me and throw some bones my way. I’m a dustman, me. I clean up mess. Lebanese intelligence? Most of their intelligence consists of blood and sawdust, let me tell you. Tony’s good people, but he’s a copper not a spook. If their spooks get you, let me tell you now, Bob, you’d better have non-conductive balls.’
  Lynch’s dry chuckle turns into a cough. He sips his drink, shaking his head at his own wit.
  Tongue protruding from his lips, Studholme toils away with his pencil. Lynch regards him with amused tolerance. Finally, the man raises his head from the notepad.
  ‘Someone once defined the stress that the police are under because of their work as: That feeling and desire, along with the ensuing bodily effects, experienced by a person who has a strong and true longing to choke the living shit out of someone who desperately deserves it, but can't. Get that much in your job?’
  ‘I usually just choke ‘em. Next.’
   ‘On the same line, the police are generally a reasonably honest group, but their divorce rate shows that they have difficulty in keeping relationships going. You, being a professional liar, can't have an easier time. At the risk of sounding like a Women's magazine, how do you keep relationships going?’
  ‘Professional liar, is it? Liar?’ Lynch’s smile is Siberian. ‘You’re a cheeky fecker, are you not? I keep relationships going or not as I see fit and by Christ that’s all I’ll tell the likes of youse about my bloody relationships.’
  His eyes drop to the notebook momentarily before Studholme faces Lynch, rebellion in the set of his shoulders. ‘In your job you might talk about sources and assets, but what you often mean is the people you lean on and use. Those people can't all have happy endings. How do you deal with it when bad things happen to good people because of you?
  Lynch leaps to his feet. He leans across the coffee table. He raises his hand, his two fingers together pointing at Studholme’s forehead. ‘I know precisely who you’re talking about and you can drop that line of questioning before you find yourself wearing a laser fucking bhindi, you understand me? I was not responsible for what happened to him. They told me to play nicely with you but I find my desire to conform to my empirical masters’ wishes is being very fast eroded. I hope I make myself clear to you. Bob.’
  Studholme drains his whisky, his face pale and crimson patches high on his cheeks. Perched on the edge of his armchair, his body weaves and he blinks a little. ‘Sure.’ He says, before burping. ‘Look, last question. James Bond always gives the impression that spying is about having the right gadget and a really nice suit, but there must be more to being a spy than that.  How much intelligence is involved in the intelligence business?
  Lynch ponders the question, then laughs. The tension leaves him and he curls back into his seat. ‘Intelligence?  There’s precious little intelligence goes on. Just shit and fear, small people trying to get by and big people crapping on them from a great height. Sure an’ you get the pure data from people like GCHQ and outfits like Nathalie Durand’s, but that’s no substitute for what the Yanks call humint. What you and I might call people. It’s all about people, scared people and happy people, bad people and sometimes even good people. People who care, people who’ve got things to lose. Loved ones.’ Lynch pauses, a puzzled look on his dark features as if he has even surprised himself. He stands, pulling down the lapels of his jacket. ‘Right. That’s us then. Here, I’ll show you the door so’n I will. You might want to get a taxi home.’

Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

Michel Freij is poised to become the next president of Lebanon. The billionaire businessman’s calls for a new, strong regional role for the country take on a sinister note when European intelligence reveals Freij has bought two ageing Soviet nuclear warheads from a German arms dealer.   

Maverick British intelligence officer Gerald Lynch has to find the warheads, believed to be on board super-yacht the Arabian Princess, before they can reach Lebanon. Joined by Nathalie Durand, the leader of a French online intelligence team, Lynch is pitched into a deadly clash with Freij and his violent militia as he pursues the Arabian Princess across the Mediterranean.  

Beirut – An Explosive Thriller sweeps through Lebanon, Hamburg, Prague, Malta, Albania and the Greek Islands on its journey to a devastating climax...

Well, you can now go here to the Beirut - An Explosive Thriller website and buy the book.

Buy Beirut here!

You can get either a printed book from amazon or an ebook to fit any reader device. Many people have expressed a desire to buy several copies and this is something I would heartily encourage.

Beirut is the book that landed me (finally) my very own literary agent. Friends and family had to put up with at least a week of me answering any given question with 'speak to my agent'. I admit, I'm hard to live with. Tragically, the book was subsequently rejected by editors at fourteen major publishing houses. That was the point where I decided to self publish my books - having previously resisted the idea robustly.

I am very glad indeed I took that decision, the past year has included many milestones, but the reception my first book, Olives - A Violent Romance, got from readers and reviewers alike was a wonder to me. I can't pretend I'm not worried about how Beirut's going to go down - I'm munching keratin. But that's all part of the fun.

In the meantime, I'm off down to favourite haunt Billy Blues this Wednesday to celebrate. You're more than welcome to join me - there won't be any readings or even any books. Just some pals having a few drinks and perhaps indulging in the guilty delight that is the Blues Platter. The Twitter invite thingy is linked here for your RSVPing convenience.

Platforms For Self Publishing

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sorry, long involved book publishing post warning...

The final edits to Beirut - An Explosive Thriller are done now that editor Robb Grindstaff's comments and changes have been incorporated. A few tweaks here and there, a few last squealing adverbs eliminated and we're on the home straight. I must reiterate here, you HAVE to get a professional editor - budget $1,000 to $1,500 for one. But don't for one second think you can self edit your way out of this one, buddy. And no, your talented friend who is a magazine editor/writer/English teacher won't do.

What platforms will I be publishing on? The plan is pretty much the same as for Olives - A Violent Romance, although there is a question mark over a UAE print edition, not least because the parcel containing the MS I sent to the National Media Council to obtain my Permission To Print in June has gone missing and nobody can find it. Which is not helpful.

Just in case you need a reminder, BTW:

The Olives - A Violent Romance website

The Beirut - An Explosive Thriller website

And yes, I would recommend you do a book website!

Olives was published on Amazon.com's KDP, on CreateSpace and Smashwords. Space, which I published more as a bit of fun than a serious novel, was only published to Amazon's KDP Select, of which more below.

Managing multi-platform publishing.

Things can get out of hand pretty fast with file management and so on, so I suggest keeping a separate folder for the core MS and a different folder for the files required for each platform (Kindle, Smashwords, Createspace, Print etc). One hard-earned tip here; DO NOT spin the files out from the core MS until you are 1001% sure you're looking at the last version you will ever create. You really don't want to end up making line corrections across four or more different sets of files for every niggly thing you missed. It's time consuming and, perhaps more importantly, dangerous - you've got four or more multiplications of that invitation to Mr Cockup.

You'll also have to change the copyright page on each version to reflect the ISBN or identify the edition. Do NOT, by the way, use your print book ISBN across other formats/editions.

Those folders can also contain the different versions of your cover - again, each platform will have a subtly different cover requirement.

Polish that blurb!

Before you start thinking about uploading books to platforms, make sure you're ready to start. Finished, professionally edited MS, clear idea of what you've got (is it a thriller, historical romance or what? And what tags would you put on it to make sure it's searchable?)? Got a GOOD cover that'll work as a thumbnail and still stand out? And have you polished your blurb so it DOES NOT contain ONE silly error, reads like a dream, is short and crisp yet will make people want to dip into your work and, gasp, even buy it? Then let us proceed!!!

Publishing to Amazon KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing)

Uploading books to Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing is pretty easy, assuming your MS is in Word. You need to download a natty little piece of software called Mobi Pocket Creator (MPC, just to save my fingers). Here's a link. Now you export your Word file to an HTML, Filtered format file and then add it into MPC. You can also upload your book cover to MPC - note it should be a colour file to fall in line with Kindle Fire capabilities. Cover art works best for Kindle as 2500 pixels high by 1600 wide or thereabouts.

When you're working on MPC, don't forget to add the metadata - blurb, BISAC category and keywords. These all help to make your book more discoverable.


You can add inline images, glyphs or other logos and picture content by embedding a link to the file in the text, the image file should be copied to the same directory as the source file. Use the img src HTML tag, the image file needs to be in the same folder as the text you're linking from - the syntax is <img src="filename" middle /> - the 'middle' centers it, of course.

Correcting formatting glitches (pages that kick over, that sort of thing) will involve getting lightly involved in editing HTML, but nothing too daunting. The most helpful simple HTML tags for this sort of thing (all tags are enclosed between < and> are:

<br /> inserts a paragraph break

<b> at the start and </b> at the end bolds it - <i> for italics </i> but don't forget to close the tag or your whole book from that point on will be bolded.

<mbp:pagebreak> inserts a pagebreak. Note this is not 'proper' HTML, but a Kindle specific tag.

You can now connect your Kindle to your PC and upload your book file to view it and make sure it works fine and dandy. Just drag and drop your built book file into the 'documents' folder on the Kindle (Windows sees a Kindle as a memory key).

The rest of the KDP process is pretty straightforward - follow the prompts on screen. When you get to book pricing, note the different royalty rates - and note unless you enroll in KDP Select, you'll only ever get a 35% royalty out of India, irrespective of how you price your book (The 70% royalty doesn't apply below $2.99 or above $9.99).

Amazon has a program called KDP Select, in which you only upload your book to Amazon for a duration of at least three months (and not to Smashwords, iBooks or anyone else). This way, you get to give your book away for up to five days in that period and also qualify to share in the monthly pot of money (currently $600,000) shared between authors depending on how many times their books have been borrowed by subscriber to Amazon's Kindle Prime service. Space, for instance, has been enrolled in Select and I've so far run two giveaways, which have resulted in hundreds of books being downloaded. I have to say, that hasn't resulted in hundreds of reviews.

I won't be doing Select with Beirut - An Explosive Thriller as I consider Smashwords to be an important additional platform. As I shall explain below.

Publishing to Amazon Createspace

Createspace is Amazon's POD (Print On Demand) platform and it's pretty smart - it means anyone, anywhere in the world, can buy your work as a printed book. There are a number of considerations to using Createspace, I'll try and deal with the 'biggies' here, as it's a relatively straightforward service to use.

Creating a file to upload is simply a matter of formatting your MS to suit the size and format of book you pick. I found the most sensible (and smallest) to be the industry standard 5" x 8". You can download the standard Createspace templates and then run your MS text into it. Before you do, make sure your MS is sensibly formatted - 0.5cm para indents, bar the first of each chapter, 1.15 line spacing and text set at 9 points is a good start. When you've run your text into the template, you can start to experiment with fonts. At the basic level, stick to a nice 'standard' font like Garamond (my choice), Palatino or Times. POD printing is slightly different to offset printing and fonts will reproduce slightly differently. If you know what you're doing with fonts, you can obviously make your own choices, but POD books set in Comic Sans are really something the world doesn't need.

You can play around with margins, but note Createspace is very picky about gutters and the usable type area as POD printers are less accurate about stuff like trim sizes than offset. If you significantly alter the margins from the Createspace template, you might fail file review and have to go back to the drawing board.

You can buy your own ISBN or you can opt for a Createspace assigned one. I go for the Createspace one. Some things you must know about ISBNs include the fact they are purely a stocking code and give away no rights or other attributes. The ISBN is unique to this edition of your book - if you produce another format, even size of book, you'll need a separate ISBN. If you opt for Createspace's expanded distribution (It costs a few dollars, but just do it), anyone will be able to go into a bookshop, cite your ISBN and place an order for your book.

Your book cover will require a little skill and may well be worth outsourcing. I'm lucky in that I have long used graphics software, so I do my own with a little help from talented artist friends for the images. You'll need to create a single image file with your back cover, spine and front cover all in one. The spine is sized depending on your pagination - Createspace gives you the relevant multipliers depending on the paper you decide to use. Createspace will also generate the barcode for your book or you can create your own (using one of many websites that offer free barcode creation) and integrate it into your artwork.

Your files then go through automated review and then a manual check. At this stage you can order your proof copy. Although you can skip this step, I recommend strongly that you do not. It'll take a few days (one of many reasons why Aramex' Shop n Shop service is cooler than cheese), but you'll get the chance to physically check the product you'll be selling to people. Now you're good to go. Select your book pricing (you get to see how royalties and so on work at different price points) and take the expanded distribution option (just do it) and about five days later, your print book will be on sale at Createspace.com, amazon.com and then over coming weeks other outlets and vendors including, importantly, the Book Depository which will sell and ship books affordably and internationally.

Publishing to Smashwords

Smashwords is important because it supports spinning your book out into multiple e-book formats and publishing to a number of important platforms including Barnes and Noble's Nook, Kobo and iBooks. Smashwords is relatively simple to use and powerful. Founder Mark Coker has written much sense on the topic of ebooks and I do strongly recommend reading his excellent 'secrets to epublishing success'. Another must read document is the Smashwords Style Guide - you really need to digest this so you get your head around the requirements for Smashwords' 'Meatgrinder'. Meatgrinder is the engine that takes your Word file and multicasts it to Kindle, ePub, PDF, .txt and other formats - you can pick which formats you want, but the ePub one is vitally important as this is the format for Nook, iBooks and Kobo as well as many other outlets/readers.

Basically if your MS is sensibly formatted to begin with (Times 12 point double spaced, 0.5cm para indents and no use of spacebar to create tabs), you should have no problems. Meatgrinder does NOT support text above 18 points and will reject any document that contains more than four concurrent paragraph returns (you can check your MS using the 'show document formatting' button in Word).

Double check you choice of tags on Smashwords - Olives - A Violent Romance was filed under Theatre on iBooks because I used a 'drama' tag on the book - remember, Smashwords is populating multiple platforms with your work, so you have to be super careful to get it right - an error means updating could take weeks.

And that's it for now. Beirut - An Explosive Thriller is uploaded and sites are populating pages even as we speak - we're on track for that October 1st launch date now.

In the meantime, if you have any platform questions, I'll try and help if you pop 'em in the comments. And I'll try and put up a 'Olives one year on - what I learned' post soon. For now I'm off to carry on polishing up my book blogger lists and get those review copies of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller out there. Wish me luck! :)

Beirut - An Explosive Thriller

 Now the website's up...

You can now go here and find out lots more about Beirut - An Explosive Thriller!!!

Beirut - I Got It Covered

Isn't this all exciting? So the final edit of Beirut - An Explosive Thriller is back from proofreading and ready to be formatted for CreateSpace, Smashwords and Kindle. I promised Jordanian tweep John Lillywhite a post on platforms for self publishing, so I'll do that later this week as I work on putting the book into its different formats.

In the meantime, here's the cover. It's a wee bit more stark than Olives, isn't it? I'm also now looking at a refresh of the Olives cover to come into line with this style. It ticks my boxes for a cover, which are as follows:

Thumbnails
A book cover these days needs to survive as a thumbnail. While the real estate of publishing in the age of the bookshop was shelves (and spines were vitally important), these days an idle click on catchy icon is what you seek.

Impact
Your book will rarely be presented alone on a screen, so if you can make it thoroughly eye-catching, so much the better.

Mono
On an e-paper Kindle, it'll display in mono, on a Kindle Fire or other tablet, colour. (It has to work in a 1.6 to 1 ratio and be 2500 pixels high for a Kindle cover) So, ideally, it should also work in mono.

Sell the book
This is where I had huge problems: many of the cover treatments I had considered just reinforced the annoying and outdated 'Looks like Beirut' syndrome - choppers over the mountains, revolvers et al just brought 'war' to mind. So I was looking for a cover image that was cleverer than that. I came up with a crude lipstick  bullet, but art director pal Jessy came up with this much more sophisticated image. It's supposed to make you do a mild double-take, to resolve clearly as lipstick and bullet. It's about sexy and violent, which are two words I would definitely pin on Beirut. And Beirut, come to think of it!

Print
It's got to be sensible as a print book cover, too - that means for POD like Createspace, a clear 5mm around all page edges for trim, unless you're 'bleeding' (material that's designed to run over the cover edge), in which case you need a 5mm margin all around.

It also ticks a rather esoteric little Font Nazi box for me - it uses Eric Gill's stunning Perpetua, a true serif 'stonecutter's font' and a true design classic by that most fascinating of typographers and artists.

For those who care about such things, the slug's a 9mm parabellum, which would be nicely compatible with Lynch's weapon of choice, the versatile Walter P99. The lipstick is a... just kidding.

I also tested the cover with quite a few people to guage reactions - I'd love to know yours, so do feel free to drop a comment!