Diana And Downfall

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I hadn't realised this, mostly because I'm not really into films to the point where I only ever watch them when I'm flying Emirates, but the new and critically panned film Diana which was premiered last Thursday, was directed by none other than Oliver Hirschbiegel. Here's the trailer.

Oliver Whowhatable? German film director Oliver Hirschbiegel is perhaps best known as the genius who gave us Downfall, the film that spawned the meme that is 'Hitler finds out about...'.

You'll likely remember the meme even if you haven't seen the whole film. Hitler raves at his closest aides, racked by Parkinsons, bitter, furious and clearly already defeated. The gag is that it's in German, so all you have to do is add funny subtitles and you've got a hilarious backdrop for dialogues such as Hitler finds out there's no camera in the iPod Touch or the monumental (over 8 million views) Hitler finds his XBox Live account has been terminated. The meme takes us to Hitler's reaction that Twitter is down and, of course, his reaction to the iPad. There's even the rather chucklesome Hitler is fed up with all the Hitler rants.

Someone somewhere is going to get a thesis, by the way, out of the fact that every single one of these have awful spelling or grammatical errors in the subtitles. The Internet, it would seem is highly amusing but woefully illiterate.

It's perhaps a testament to the power of actor Bruno Gantz's portrayal of Hitler and the realism of this rant scene that the meme has run like this - in fact, the studio tried to stem the tide of parodies with a takedown attempt, but in the end you can't turn back the sea. There are hundreds of the things out there, more still - over three years later - being added every day with each new event that someone, somewhere cares about enough to slap a few subtitles on that little piece of film history. Some of the best, original clips succumbed to the takedown. Many are, of course, merely lame. But they generally still have the power to bring a grin to your face.

Much of the humour comes from the fact this man is the most reviled figure in human history. The idea that he wants to tweet about his dog dying, that the AT&T network's no good or any of this stuff is part of its brilliance. But it's the best thing to do to evil, really: laugh at it, no?

So now Hirschbiegel has created a film about Diana which the critics have queued up to have a pop at. The Guardian's reviewer noted that sixteen years after that car crash, Diana has died a second awful death and the gag, albeit a tad obvious and even mildly obnoxious, neatly sums up London's reaction to the film.

I can't wait, personally. I can't wait for the parodies to start. I wonder if they'll have German subtitles?

Meanwhile, do feel free to share links to any notable 'Hitler rants' in the comments!

Fail

Image via Wikipedia

One of my favourite ever legal precedents is something of a media joke. If you want to tell someone to eff off without actually saying it, it is common to refer them to Arkell vs Pressdram. Pressdram is the publishing company responsible for the British satirical magazine Private Eye (not welcome, sadly, in the Emirates where it remains 'not on sale').

Arkell threatened the Eye with legal action in the correspondence, which has been reported as going something like this:

Arkell v. Pressdram (1971) [unreported]

Solicitor (Goodman Derrick & Co.):
We act for Mr Arkell who is Retail Credit Manager of Granada TV Rental Ltd. His attention has been drawn to an article appearing in the issue of Private Eye dated 9th April 1971 on page 4. The statements made about Mr Arkell are entirely untrue and clearly highly defamatory. We are therefore instructed to require from you immediately your proposals for dealing with the matter. Mr Arkell's first concern is that there should be a full retraction at the earliest possible date in Private Eye and he will also want his costs paid. His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply.

Private Eye:
We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell. We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows: fuck off.

That was the end of the correspondence but the start of a timeless reputation for Mr. Arkell, who remains, over 30 years later, a joke.

Anyway, I thought I’d just share this rather marvellous example of what happens when organisations do choose to ‘do an Arkell’ with online communities and commentators. Guinness fired off a ‘cease and desist’ at the chucklesome (and classic, you’ll thank me if you didn’t already have this one in your reader) Fail Blog.

Guinness was asking for a logo to be removed from a screen grab used on the Fail Blog - it qualified for a 'fail' entry for having a Guinness Book of Records record for 'most people killed in a terrorist attack'.

The blog modified the offending material and then posted up its opinion of Guinness and its pompous letter for its significant readership to enjoy. It also posts a link which it says is its full legal response to Guinness.

The link is a ‘Rick Roll’ – the modern Arkell vs Pressdram?

Meme

Alright, alright. Here you go...

A disease caught from Jayne with a why...

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.

2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.

3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

I don't know how to score out text so you'll have to put up with a * instead.

1. Venison
Lovely. Especially in the pub at Corfe with a blue vinney cheese sauce.

2. Nettle tea

3. Huevos rancheros

4. Steak tartare

5. Crocodile
At Key West, the Californian cocktail joint that used to be at the Bustan Rotana. It was far too successful and enjoyable a place so they closed it and turned into a skanky TGI Friday’s.

6. Black pudding
Topped with apple and pine nuts. Must post the recipe over at The Fat Expat one of the days.

7. Cheese fondue

8. Carp

9. Borscht

10. Baba ghanoush
Ghanoush? Yanks! Gannoug or ghanouj in Khaleeji!

11. Calamari
Oddly enough, the Irish Village calamari isn't bad...

12. Pho
Yum

* 13. PB&J (peanut butter & jelly) sandwich
Have not, will not. This is just wrong.

14. Aloo gobi

15. Hot dog from a street cart

16. Epoisses
It’s a cheese, Keefie. And it’s smelly.

17. Black truffle

18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
My dad always made shockingly bad elderflower wine. One year it fermented in the bottle and turned into amazingly good elderflower champagne.

19. Steamed pork buns

20. Pistachio ice cream

21. Heirloom tomatoes
(Non-hybrid toms)

22. Fresh wild berries
Only an American could consider eating something that hadn't been tinned, frozen, preserved or mixed with artificial ingredients as unusual!

23. Foie gras

24. Rice and beans

25. Brawn, or head cheese

26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
I once put them into a duck soup made from the bones of a particularly fiery bebek batutu I'd cooked. A thankfully rare occasion - a total dinner party disaster. Guests clutching at throats and everything. I try not to remember it.

27. Dulce de leche

28. Oysters
Don’t like ‘em.

29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda

31. Wasabi peas
HMHB and I were actually nibbling ‘em at the Fairmont Cigar Bar the other night at The Fat Expat Birthday before the evening kicked off and the exotic dancers appeared.

32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl

33. Salted lassi

34. Sauerkraut

* 35. Root beer float
I’ve done root beer and it was gross. Ice cream on it? Are you MAD?

36. Cognac with a fat cigar
Before I gave up cigars, aye. Thankfully haven’t given up cognac!

37. Clotted cream tea
Ooh matron!

38. Vodka jelly

39. Gumbo

40. Oxtail

41. Curried goat

* 42. Whole insects
Can’t really see the appeal...

43. Phaal
Fal or phall to you mate. Hotter than vindaloo and a mad thing to eat.

44. Goat’s milk

45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more

46. Fugu
Nope. Not really tempted, either, despite a mad foodie’s curiosity.

47. Chicken tikka masala

48. Eel

49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
To my eternal shame, it’s a yes.

50. Sea urchin
Yes.And jelly fish. Both once only experiences, I’m afraid...

51. Prickly pear
Discovered this, cactus fruit, in Jordan. Nice.

52. Umeboshi

53. Abalone

54. Paneer

55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
Blush

56. Spaetzle

57. Dirty gin martini
A major favourite.

58. Beer above 8% ABV
Obviously. The last one I had was the excellent Chalky’s Ale, brewed to commemorate Rich Stein’s dog!

59. Poutine
Chips, cheese and gravy? Too North American for me...

60. Carob chips

61. S’mores
See poutine

62. Sweetbreads
Borrocks

63. Kaolin

64. Currywurst

65. Durian
I first had it as a Durian Dunkin’ Donut in Bali, believe it or not! The actual fruit tastes pretty good if you can get past the smell! Carrefour sells it...

66. Frogs’ legs
A friend used to have ‘em flown in from Beirut. Lovely!

67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake

68. Haggis

69. Fried plantain

* 70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
Pig anus. Probably not.

71. Gazpacho

72. Caviar and blini

73. Louche absinthe

74. Gjetost, or brunost
Never come across it.

75. Roadkill
Not knowingly, at least...

76. Baijiu

* 77. Hostess Fruit Pie
You must be mad.

78. Snail

79. Lapsang souchong

80. Bellini

81. Tom yum

82. Eggs Benedict

83. Pocky

84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
Strangely enough, no

85. Kobe beef

86. Hare

87. Goulash

88. Flowers

89. Horse

90. Criollo chocolate

91. Spam

92. Soft shell crab

93. Rose harissa

94. Catfish

95. Mole poblano

96. Bagel and lox
Does gravadlax count?

97. Lobster Thermidor

98. Polenta

99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee

100. Snake
No. Probably would, but it's never appeared on a menu in my hands...

* 101. Deep-fried Mars Bar
I don’t think I could, Keefie!