Putin 1 Bush 0

(Picture: Reuters)

It's incredible to see how much of a statesman Vladimir Putin looks like when he's standing next to that terrible, simian little man. Even the body language, Putin's hand over Georgie's, dominating him, leaning into him as Bush's wooden elbow and slight backwards tilt tell that while he's concentrating on leering at the camera to show how much he's enjoying shaking hands with his great friend Pooty-Poot, he's actually desperately uncomfortable.

He manages to come across as fake, dumb and insincere - a communications management nightmare, all braggadocio and simplistic 'Hollywood President' swaggering tough talk. And yet you get the distinct impression that the alcoholic under-achiever is never far from the surface - the driving, nagging insistence of his self-doubt and insecurity making him grab at the wrong gesture, the wrong thing to say. It's the danger of the man.

Putin is dangerous himself, but it's a different dangerous. He's self-assured, relaxed, experienced and in control of himself. The worry is that one of these men leads the world's most powerful nation - and it's not the one that any decent alien would want to be taken to if it saw this picture. Putin's gambit of offering Azerbaijan as an alternative to Eastern Europe as a place to put a missile shield against Iran was, of course, brilliance. Azerbaijan makes sense. The question is whether George ever really intended to put up a shield against Iran.

He's known as 'Boosh' in the Arab World, like his father was before him. Except people didn't laugh at mention of his father's name.