Decent

Sharjah Municipality has ordered shop dummies, or mannequins, to be rendered headless and to be decently clothed. The Gulf News gleefully reports: “A circular was recently sent to all shops stating the heads of mannequins be removed and that they are forbidden to wear underwear, to uphold the traditional and religious values of the emirate.”

The rather posh boutique shop Allied, now called Tanagra, has had a branch in King Faisal Street in Sharjah since time immemorial. Long famous for selling uber-brands such as Baccarat and Cristofle, Allied also sells a neat line (if you like that sort of thing) in Neo Lladro figurines. Many of these consist of women, single or in groups, in classical poses and therefore with ‘milkbars out’. Allied, since the 1980s, has always tied little cloth bikinis to them – a nod to local culture that I have always found delightfully quaint. You wonder if their new owners ever get them home and feel ever so naughty as they tug on the wee knots on the back.

I do hope they’re not going to have to chop their heads off now.

Solvent Abuse and Lewd Pictures

Highly amused to see a piece on censorship in today's Xpress, the weekly tabloid newspaper from Gulf News' publisher Al Nisr, which quotes a Mr. Vijayan Menon. Vijayan is part of the four-man team that black-marks publications for magazine distributor Jashanmal and takes out the naughty bits. "I really have to watch out for the British tabloids," Menon tells Xpress reporter Mohammed Khan. "Publications like the Observer, the Independent and the Sun commonly display lewd pictures."

I'm not sure if it's the mention of the three in one breath or the idea of that famously saucy page 3 of the Independent which made me giggle into my coffee.

Perhaps they all become one tabloid blur of dancing nipples and grey print after a couple of hours' sniffing Magic Marker...

Am I allowed to say nipples?