People used to call it 'Murder Mile' because of the accident rate, but of recent years it's become too much of a car park for there to be any serious accidents. And now they powers that be have shut the road between Dubai and Sharjah and installed a couple of sneaky and highly disruptive diversions as work starts on a new six-lane underpass to replace the infamous bottleneck that is the Galadari Roundabout/Al Mulla Plaza underpass/overpass system.
Every road out of Dubai was blocked tonight. Every possible snicket and witty little short cut was jam packed with advantage-seeking optimists. The new Business Bay Bridge had become the Business Bay Tailback. Even my beloved two minute dune drive was littered with people who'd never taken their 4WDs in dunes before and so who were bogged down to the bonnets in the lovely soft, creamy sand that the recent hot weather has brought us. And no, I didn't stop and tow them out. I usually would. But by the time I got to them tonight, I was only fit to call down a plague upon all their houses.
I can only hope that the traffic dynamic adapts to the new system and settles down quickly. I never thought I'd actually come to appreciate Murder Mile!!!
Sunday, 20 May 2007
Save the Fish
I wonder if I was the only person struck by the sheer incongruity of the Emirates Today Saturday Splash this week. 'Save the Wadi fish' certainly falls into line with the paper's hard-hitting campaigning style, but you would be forgiven for wondering if it's really front page headline news - particularly as the story, by two senior reporters, lacks much detail on the problem that requires a call for the salvation of our fishy friends.
The wadi tracks, including now the famous and much-beloved Hatta track, are being turned into black-top. Few of the 'great' tracks remain. This has resulted in a new level of access to wadis by the public and, as can be seen in Wadi Warrayah, this has meant the devastating pollution of the few wadis that haven't been pumped dry by farmers. That pumping has also resulted in the widespread proliferation of filthy, oily pumps leaching hydrocarbons into the wadi beds. Most of the wadi pools that I know of are now dried out.
The entire nature of the magical ecosystem that has built up around the unique wadi watersystems of the UAE has been changed fundamentally by unplanned and unregulated human activity and that devastating change continues unchecked. Unstudied, uncelebrated and unloved, the wadis are dying by the day.
And they're worrying about the fishies...
The wadi tracks, including now the famous and much-beloved Hatta track, are being turned into black-top. Few of the 'great' tracks remain. This has resulted in a new level of access to wadis by the public and, as can be seen in Wadi Warrayah, this has meant the devastating pollution of the few wadis that haven't been pumped dry by farmers. That pumping has also resulted in the widespread proliferation of filthy, oily pumps leaching hydrocarbons into the wadi beds. Most of the wadi pools that I know of are now dried out.
The entire nature of the magical ecosystem that has built up around the unique wadi watersystems of the UAE has been changed fundamentally by unplanned and unregulated human activity and that devastating change continues unchecked. Unstudied, uncelebrated and unloved, the wadis are dying by the day.
And they're worrying about the fishies...
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Saturday, 19 May 2007
The Deal
Giving a talk to a group of American MBA students last week (because I get myself involved in odd things occasionally, that's why) and a lively Q&A was had by all. One question really hit me, though, and has had me thinking since. It was about The Deal.
You see, The Deal used to be nice and simple for people coming to the Gulf. You sign up for a couple of years, come out here and set up home and then you either go back with a little money saved or you stick around for a while longer. You're effectively transient and on the hog's back financially, so a lot of things that might matter if you considered yourself here for keeps are not really germane to you. You know, civil liberties, your status as a resident as set against being a citizen, whether the law applies to you or is applied fairly to you. All those questions that really don't come up if you're just keeping your head down and making a few sovs in the time you've got. Some people have a plan, others just keep going for as long as it seems to make sense. But we all know we're going to go home or move on at some stage.
But now there's a new generation of people coming out here that appear to have signed up for a New Deal. For a start, there's a lot of folks that seem to think they're moving out to Brentford-in-the-sun (and so, in so many ways, they are!). Which is all very well, except this may look like Milton Keynes and it might have all the facilities of Cleethorpes and more - but it is, underneath the sparkly veneer, a very, very foreign country indeed.
The mass of incoming people ('newbies' if you want to be a jerk about it) who have little idea of the mores, culture or social setup here is considerable - certainly enough to outnumber any longer term residents, traditionally the people that comprised the informal suport network for new residents that helped to show them the ropes and mentored them for those important first few weeks. So now an increasing number of people are arguably finding out about basic stuff the hard way - something that is, incidentally, avoidable. Alongside all the breathless promotion there could be at least an attempt to build a little cultural awareness. An informational film played to incoming passengers may be an idea instead of a mindless flick about The Mad Maggot, for instance. Or a leaflet at immigration. Cost - little. Impact - large.
And then there's the other part of The New Deal. If you have bought a house or apartment here and you're set up for life - if your only property is here and not back home, if you've put down your roots here, so to speak; then what is the deal? You're raising your children here, you're committing for the longer term.
What then happens in terms of the relationship between the UAE's people and you, the new property owning resident. Where are we going with the relative status of people and addressing the different expectations of people regarding systems of governance and the place of the individual within that system?
That was the question I was asked and for which I have no answer. You have to admit, it's an interesting one!
You see, The Deal used to be nice and simple for people coming to the Gulf. You sign up for a couple of years, come out here and set up home and then you either go back with a little money saved or you stick around for a while longer. You're effectively transient and on the hog's back financially, so a lot of things that might matter if you considered yourself here for keeps are not really germane to you. You know, civil liberties, your status as a resident as set against being a citizen, whether the law applies to you or is applied fairly to you. All those questions that really don't come up if you're just keeping your head down and making a few sovs in the time you've got. Some people have a plan, others just keep going for as long as it seems to make sense. But we all know we're going to go home or move on at some stage.
But now there's a new generation of people coming out here that appear to have signed up for a New Deal. For a start, there's a lot of folks that seem to think they're moving out to Brentford-in-the-sun (and so, in so many ways, they are!). Which is all very well, except this may look like Milton Keynes and it might have all the facilities of Cleethorpes and more - but it is, underneath the sparkly veneer, a very, very foreign country indeed.
The mass of incoming people ('newbies' if you want to be a jerk about it) who have little idea of the mores, culture or social setup here is considerable - certainly enough to outnumber any longer term residents, traditionally the people that comprised the informal suport network for new residents that helped to show them the ropes and mentored them for those important first few weeks. So now an increasing number of people are arguably finding out about basic stuff the hard way - something that is, incidentally, avoidable. Alongside all the breathless promotion there could be at least an attempt to build a little cultural awareness. An informational film played to incoming passengers may be an idea instead of a mindless flick about The Mad Maggot, for instance. Or a leaflet at immigration. Cost - little. Impact - large.
And then there's the other part of The New Deal. If you have bought a house or apartment here and you're set up for life - if your only property is here and not back home, if you've put down your roots here, so to speak; then what is the deal? You're raising your children here, you're committing for the longer term.
What then happens in terms of the relationship between the UAE's people and you, the new property owning resident. Where are we going with the relative status of people and addressing the different expectations of people regarding systems of governance and the place of the individual within that system?
That was the question I was asked and for which I have no answer. You have to admit, it's an interesting one!
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Friday, 18 May 2007
Ghulam's Surprise
Mr Ghulam is our 'regular' taxi driver, we've got his mobile and book him direct, an arrangement which has all sorts of advantages to it - including not having to deal with call centres and an ever-changing stream of oddballs who've been here for two weeks and don't know where anything is. Ghulam's been living here for something like 30 years and remembers back to legendary times such as when people living in Dubai used to go out to paint the town red in Sharjah (believe it or not, that's true).
Incidentally, a digression here, but taking a taxi if you're going out and having even a couple of drinks is vital in a place with a zero tolerance of drink driving. Quite apart from your own attitude to the consequences of your irresponsiblity should someone get hurt by you, if you have an accident of any sort and have alcohol in your blood, your insurance is invalid - and that includes paying the Dhs 150,000 ($US 41,000) diya, or blood money, if someone's killed - regardless of whose fault it was.
Mr. G has just come back from a long leave in Pakistan this week, so my trip into town was a chance to catch up on the things he's missed while he's been away, like the new law that will see him having his car impounded for speeding over 60km/h above the limit. He'd also missed the opening of the Business Bay Bridge (which appears to have been renamed 'Business Bay Bridge' at the last moment because all of the original signposts said 'Ras Al Khor Crossing') and so I took him over it, a slightly long way around but I thought he'd be pleased at having another route in. I have to confess I enjoyed his wide-eyed surprise at the massive, 6-lane crossing and huge, and growing, road networks around it.
But what really blew him away, and had him cackling delightedly for the rest of the trip, was that in the time he'd been on leave, Dubai had built a new bridge and a road network.
Incidentally, a digression here, but taking a taxi if you're going out and having even a couple of drinks is vital in a place with a zero tolerance of drink driving. Quite apart from your own attitude to the consequences of your irresponsiblity should someone get hurt by you, if you have an accident of any sort and have alcohol in your blood, your insurance is invalid - and that includes paying the Dhs 150,000 ($US 41,000) diya, or blood money, if someone's killed - regardless of whose fault it was.
Mr. G has just come back from a long leave in Pakistan this week, so my trip into town was a chance to catch up on the things he's missed while he's been away, like the new law that will see him having his car impounded for speeding over 60km/h above the limit. He'd also missed the opening of the Business Bay Bridge (which appears to have been renamed 'Business Bay Bridge' at the last moment because all of the original signposts said 'Ras Al Khor Crossing') and so I took him over it, a slightly long way around but I thought he'd be pleased at having another route in. I have to confess I enjoyed his wide-eyed surprise at the massive, 6-lane crossing and huge, and growing, road networks around it.
But what really blew him away, and had him cackling delightedly for the rest of the trip, was that in the time he'd been on leave, Dubai had built a new bridge and a road network.
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Thursday, 17 May 2007
The Times they are a changin'
The Times is to be published in the Middle East with an edition printed in Dubai and circulated around the region, reports Rob Corder on arabianbusiness.com. The ads will be local, the editorial will come from London. One can only assume that the content will be the same as the London edition.
Which does rather leave me wondering why you'd bother...
Which does rather leave me wondering why you'd bother...
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Wednesday, 16 May 2007
IVR Telephone Phrase Translations
IVR, interactive voice response, is the first stage of today's call management system. You have to do the IVR before you get to a human being. You know, the 'Press one for a tape of how much we love you, press two for a tape of how much we value you," and all that stuff.
How much IVR you have to do depends on many things. I have a personal theory, that IVRs are like cats - they know people who hate them and so jump on their laps and knead their tummies with their claws.
You might find some of the phrases used hard to understand, so I have compiled the following guide to some oft-used IVR system and call centre phrases. I do hope you find them useful.
"Your call is important to us"
We couldn't give a tinker's cuss about your call. You're a statistic and, frankly, until you're resolved you're an inconvenience to us. Resolve quickly and we look good. Stay on hold and you'll lengthen the stats to resolution. Now we're going to play you Celine Dion music so you get out of our system fast and go back under whatever little rock you came out from.
"We are busy helping other customers..."
The two operators who are on duty are actually talking about who was the best Bond right now so they're letting the IVR and hold sytems take the flack. Najla thinks it was Sean Connery but Ahmad thinks it is Daniel Craig. Personally I'd go with Connery but Craig's an interesting contender, although I'm not supposed to know what they're talking about. Incidentally, Najla and Ahmad are getting on really well and have applied for night duty because then they can be truly alone and, well, who knows what might happen while you're being put on hold then. By the way, the 'busy helping others' line is meant to make you feel guilty about having your own needs so that you're happier to put other people first. That's OK, isn't it?
"Is there anything else I can do to help you?"
I've failed to do anything for you, really. I can't access the screen I need to because the system's down, but I'm trained to end all calls this way and I do so slavishly just so that it ends our call together by putting some marzipan pink pixies on the icing of the cake of your impotent rage and frustration.
"This is Adix"
We've got an old voice mail system which nobody's ever even tried to customise.
"This call may be recorded and used for training purposes"
If you honestly think we're going to expose new staff to the kind of abuse, irritation and bellowing rage that our customers constantly are driven to by our incompetence, then you've got another thing coming. Cripes, we'd never get the call centre staffed if they actually knew what a bitch-slapping they'll be getting once they've been through training. Imagine! We'd have to outsource to India or something. Sheesh! Training purposes my ass!
"Due to an unprecendented level of calls there may be a short delay answering your call"
Weeeel that's not strictly true. Because we understaff the centre (those seats cost money, bub) and depend on the IVR to take on 80% of the numbnuts incoming, we're going to leave you in the-mobile's-burning-my-ear limbo for about 45 minutes. The really, really cool part is what you don't know yet: at the end of the wait we're going to play you an engaged tone then drop the line. Because we've got calling line identification we'll know to route your next call down to dumb Zaki, the new kid with spots and the speech impediment who we're trying to get sacked because he tried it on with Amna from loans.
"The person at extension f.o.u.r zero eight is not available. Please leave a message"
Honestly, we don't like to make too much fuss about this, but 408 is actually a phone in the canteen which we took the ringer out of. We took the speaker out of it, too, so nobody ever listens to the messages, we just clear the voice mail system every time the red light comes on.
"The voice mailbox for extension f.o.u.r zero eight is full. Please call later"
We forgot to clear that red light last time we went for a smoke.
How much IVR you have to do depends on many things. I have a personal theory, that IVRs are like cats - they know people who hate them and so jump on their laps and knead their tummies with their claws.
You might find some of the phrases used hard to understand, so I have compiled the following guide to some oft-used IVR system and call centre phrases. I do hope you find them useful.
"Your call is important to us"
We couldn't give a tinker's cuss about your call. You're a statistic and, frankly, until you're resolved you're an inconvenience to us. Resolve quickly and we look good. Stay on hold and you'll lengthen the stats to resolution. Now we're going to play you Celine Dion music so you get out of our system fast and go back under whatever little rock you came out from.
"We are busy helping other customers..."
The two operators who are on duty are actually talking about who was the best Bond right now so they're letting the IVR and hold sytems take the flack. Najla thinks it was Sean Connery but Ahmad thinks it is Daniel Craig. Personally I'd go with Connery but Craig's an interesting contender, although I'm not supposed to know what they're talking about. Incidentally, Najla and Ahmad are getting on really well and have applied for night duty because then they can be truly alone and, well, who knows what might happen while you're being put on hold then. By the way, the 'busy helping others' line is meant to make you feel guilty about having your own needs so that you're happier to put other people first. That's OK, isn't it?
"Is there anything else I can do to help you?"
I've failed to do anything for you, really. I can't access the screen I need to because the system's down, but I'm trained to end all calls this way and I do so slavishly just so that it ends our call together by putting some marzipan pink pixies on the icing of the cake of your impotent rage and frustration.
"This is Adix"
We've got an old voice mail system which nobody's ever even tried to customise.
"This call may be recorded and used for training purposes"
If you honestly think we're going to expose new staff to the kind of abuse, irritation and bellowing rage that our customers constantly are driven to by our incompetence, then you've got another thing coming. Cripes, we'd never get the call centre staffed if they actually knew what a bitch-slapping they'll be getting once they've been through training. Imagine! We'd have to outsource to India or something. Sheesh! Training purposes my ass!
"Due to an unprecendented level of calls there may be a short delay answering your call"
Weeeel that's not strictly true. Because we understaff the centre (those seats cost money, bub) and depend on the IVR to take on 80% of the numbnuts incoming, we're going to leave you in the-mobile's-burning-my-ear limbo for about 45 minutes. The really, really cool part is what you don't know yet: at the end of the wait we're going to play you an engaged tone then drop the line. Because we've got calling line identification we'll know to route your next call down to dumb Zaki, the new kid with spots and the speech impediment who we're trying to get sacked because he tried it on with Amna from loans.
"The person at extension f.o.u.r zero eight is not available. Please leave a message"
Honestly, we don't like to make too much fuss about this, but 408 is actually a phone in the canteen which we took the ringer out of. We took the speaker out of it, too, so nobody ever listens to the messages, we just clear the voice mail system every time the red light comes on.
"The voice mailbox for extension f.o.u.r zero eight is full. Please call later"
We forgot to clear that red light last time we went for a smoke.
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Golly - it's de little people!
Croikey! We have been tipped off by The Tipperary Voice, which reports on the multi-million visitor website irelandseye.com, which has set up a secret Leprechaun spotting webcam in a field overlooking a fairy ring in the Glen of Cloongallon near Thurles in the County Tipperary. Connected through a mobile 'phone, the hidden camera has driven traffic to the point where, last St. Patrick's Day, the site's server manfully tried to cope with over a million page views then crashed. The culprits, apparently, were de Yanks: according to irelandseye.com's John Murphy (quoted, you understand, by de Voice), Americans "have a distorted view of what leprechauns are and think that shamrocks have four leaves."
The Internet is a wonderful place.
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Monday, 14 May 2007
Wasps in a jam jar
I was speaking at the Cards Middle East event yesterday, telling a small audience of bankers why it's not a smart idea to shake up your customers like wasps in a jam jar every time you talk to them or deal with them. How ironic, then, to get home and find that our Visa card hadn't been debited for the airline tickets that will transport us magically to the UK this summer. Well, at least we couldn't see it on the statement. But then two of our statements are missing and the bank has been failing to send us a fax of them for the past two weeks. So it might be in one of those. Or in the new one that hasn't come yet. Or somewhere.
So I call the call centre and get the usual buffoon. This time he starts the call by asking me security questions. I answer three of them, but by the fourth question it's all become too much for me.
"Hang on, pally. I've just entered my unique and hardly memorable ten digit personal banking number and my six digit personal banking security PIN code number identifier to get through here, so why are you asking me security questions?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"I've told you my PO Box number, my date of birth and the name of the company that I work for. So why don't you answer my question?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"I don't know. I don't care. Why are you asking me?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"Are you seriously telling me you're going to deny me service if I don't answer you?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
I swear it's true.
We eventually get beyond this to the point where I get to ask about the missing transaction. Give him the date and value. Nope, he says. Absolutely not. Not there. No such transaction. Nothing for Emirates, nothing for that amount, nothing for that date.
Puzzled, I call Emirates who are, as usual, great. The woman explains (patiently, given that she's obviously talking to a twit) that you can't issue an e-ticket without the Visa transaction being validated and that yes, I hold two valid tickets to fly. I understand that, it's just that the bank swears the money hasn't come out. She's patient but insistent. Perhaps I might like to talk to my bank again?
Perhaps I might. I call them back. A long conversation. I point out that I hold the tickets so the transaction must have gone through. Besides, Sarah's reconciled the Visa card by now. The money must have been debited, although it's hard to be precise as there are so many missing transactions because of the statements we haven't got.
We're about an hour into the investigation by now and I'm reasonably wound up, teetering on the verge of an act of physical violence. The new drooling idiot in the call centre is still insisting that there is no transaction. I make him go over it time after time and then: "There's nothing there for that amount, Sir. Just two transactions on that day with Emirates each of which is for half the amount you have mentioned."
A pause, then I clearly hear him say, in a quiet voice, "Oh."
There's a long, murderous silence which I eventually broke. I shall spare you the rest, but it went something like this...
I've got a new idea for an advertisement for my bank to use. It's a picture of a customer, a picture of a call centre operator, a picture of a call centre operator and a picture of a customer, all side by side. Across them are the words 'Annoyed, Annoying, Annoying, Annoyed'.
I thought of some others, too, but they all use rude words. I'd be happy to share them if someone from the bank would like to give me a ring.
So I call the call centre and get the usual buffoon. This time he starts the call by asking me security questions. I answer three of them, but by the fourth question it's all become too much for me.
"Hang on, pally. I've just entered my unique and hardly memorable ten digit personal banking number and my six digit personal banking security PIN code number identifier to get through here, so why are you asking me security questions?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"I've told you my PO Box number, my date of birth and the name of the company that I work for. So why don't you answer my question?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"I don't know. I don't care. Why are you asking me?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
"Are you seriously telling me you're going to deny me service if I don't answer you?"
"What is your card limit sir?"
I swear it's true.
We eventually get beyond this to the point where I get to ask about the missing transaction. Give him the date and value. Nope, he says. Absolutely not. Not there. No such transaction. Nothing for Emirates, nothing for that amount, nothing for that date.
Puzzled, I call Emirates who are, as usual, great. The woman explains (patiently, given that she's obviously talking to a twit) that you can't issue an e-ticket without the Visa transaction being validated and that yes, I hold two valid tickets to fly. I understand that, it's just that the bank swears the money hasn't come out. She's patient but insistent. Perhaps I might like to talk to my bank again?
Perhaps I might. I call them back. A long conversation. I point out that I hold the tickets so the transaction must have gone through. Besides, Sarah's reconciled the Visa card by now. The money must have been debited, although it's hard to be precise as there are so many missing transactions because of the statements we haven't got.
We're about an hour into the investigation by now and I'm reasonably wound up, teetering on the verge of an act of physical violence. The new drooling idiot in the call centre is still insisting that there is no transaction. I make him go over it time after time and then: "There's nothing there for that amount, Sir. Just two transactions on that day with Emirates each of which is for half the amount you have mentioned."
A pause, then I clearly hear him say, in a quiet voice, "Oh."
There's a long, murderous silence which I eventually broke. I shall spare you the rest, but it went something like this...
I've got a new idea for an advertisement for my bank to use. It's a picture of a customer, a picture of a call centre operator, a picture of a call centre operator and a picture of a customer, all side by side. Across them are the words 'Annoyed, Annoying, Annoying, Annoyed'.
I thought of some others, too, but they all use rude words. I'd be happy to share them if someone from the bank would like to give me a ring.
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Saturday, 12 May 2007
Eat this, sucker!
One of a number of interesting changes to take place hereabouts is the new Consumer Protection Law. A major move for the UAE, which has always cried 'laissez faire' when anything that could be considered bad for business has been suggested, the law insists on things like labels that tell consumers what's in a product and where it comes from. This is, one would conjecture, Not A Bad Thing.
A smart retailer, presented with the fact of the matter, would perhaps roll with the punch - welcome the regulation and even promise to exceed the regulatory requirement in the interests of consumers.
Not so local expat supermarket Spinneys, whose CEO (Mr. Johanned Hotlzhausen) reacted to Gulf News with the begrudging comment: "It's going to cost me money."
Poor darling. Really. But at least he's got consumers' best interests at heart, as his final quote in the Gulf News report demonstrates: "...if it's a law then we will have to adhere to that."
So it's no surprise to find, this weekend, a packet of Lebanese Sausages being labelled in a more fulsome way than ever before. What's surprising is that a) it happened so quietly and b) what's in them.
Lebanese, or sujuk, sausages are traditionally made from beef, with garlic, pepper and spice, including sumak, which gives them a deep purple-red colour and spicy taste. Chili is sometimes added to make 'hot sausage'.
Not when you buy them from a certain supermarket... Ingredients, as per the new super-duper labelling scheme, below:
Fresh beef, vinegar, seasoning, food colour (sodium chloride, sunset yellow E110, Carmosine E122).
Carmosine is a literal - it's carmoisine. And like sunset yellow (E110), it's bloody evil stuff.
E110, Sunset Yellow, is a synthetic dye derived from coal tar (creosote to you and me) and typically used in heated processed foods. It has a horrific list of potential side effects, particularly for children and is, in fact, not recommended for consumption by children in the UK.
E122, Carmoisine, is also a deeply suspect coal tar colour - and also known to cause adverse reactions in up to 25% of all toddlers.
In the 1980s, in the UK, a huge fuss centered around the publication of a book called E for Additives which listed these types of processed food additive chemicals, their origins (Cochineal, a popular red food dye, is made from beetle wings - Brown FK, used to dye electrically smoked kippers, is also derived from creosote - and there's plenty more where they came from - like E110 and E122) and their potential side effects. The reaction of revolted consumers and concerned parents created a new sense of responsibility among food companies and saw natual colours, preservatives and flavourings being used instead.
Insidiously, these chemicals are creeping back into our diets. At least the new law obliges retailers to tell people what they're eating. If you want to keep an eye out for more of this kind of thing, a good reference site is here.
A smart retailer, presented with the fact of the matter, would perhaps roll with the punch - welcome the regulation and even promise to exceed the regulatory requirement in the interests of consumers.
Not so local expat supermarket Spinneys, whose CEO (Mr. Johanned Hotlzhausen) reacted to Gulf News with the begrudging comment: "It's going to cost me money."
Poor darling. Really. But at least he's got consumers' best interests at heart, as his final quote in the Gulf News report demonstrates: "...if it's a law then we will have to adhere to that."
So it's no surprise to find, this weekend, a packet of Lebanese Sausages being labelled in a more fulsome way than ever before. What's surprising is that a) it happened so quietly and b) what's in them.
Lebanese, or sujuk, sausages are traditionally made from beef, with garlic, pepper and spice, including sumak, which gives them a deep purple-red colour and spicy taste. Chili is sometimes added to make 'hot sausage'.
Not when you buy them from a certain supermarket... Ingredients, as per the new super-duper labelling scheme, below:
Fresh beef, vinegar, seasoning, food colour (sodium chloride, sunset yellow E110, Carmosine E122).
Carmosine is a literal - it's carmoisine. And like sunset yellow (E110), it's bloody evil stuff.
E110, Sunset Yellow, is a synthetic dye derived from coal tar (creosote to you and me) and typically used in heated processed foods. It has a horrific list of potential side effects, particularly for children and is, in fact, not recommended for consumption by children in the UK.
E122, Carmoisine, is also a deeply suspect coal tar colour - and also known to cause adverse reactions in up to 25% of all toddlers.
In the 1980s, in the UK, a huge fuss centered around the publication of a book called E for Additives which listed these types of processed food additive chemicals, their origins (Cochineal, a popular red food dye, is made from beetle wings - Brown FK, used to dye electrically smoked kippers, is also derived from creosote - and there's plenty more where they came from - like E110 and E122) and their potential side effects. The reaction of revolted consumers and concerned parents created a new sense of responsibility among food companies and saw natual colours, preservatives and flavourings being used instead.
Insidiously, these chemicals are creeping back into our diets. At least the new law obliges retailers to tell people what they're eating. If you want to keep an eye out for more of this kind of thing, a good reference site is here.
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Thursday, 10 May 2007
No No Nokia!
This is all getting out of hand. Three colleagues have now rushed down to the shops and shelled out something like $900 for the new Nokia N95. One has had his first total system crash, one is barely able to make phone calls as she struggles to come to terms with her new and highly complex uber-gadget and one is evangelising it big time. No prizes for guessing who...
Yes, the insanely intrepid early adopter that is Pleon geek in chief Gianni Catalfamo, is already raving like a raving thing about the new multi-access, multi-capable platform that communicates in broadband, locates you like a cruise missile, speaks in tongues and not only makes toast but butters it, slathers it in jam and then eats it for you.
You've got to admire early adopters. There's something admirable about the way they fling themselves over the cliff edge first just to see what happens...
Meanwhile, those with high speed data connections (3G, I would suggest) and superior S60 platforms such as the svelte Nokia N73 might like to try playing around with Google Maps - Google Earth for the mobile! Point your mobile at: www.google.co.uk/gmm and enjoy!
Yes, the insanely intrepid early adopter that is Pleon geek in chief Gianni Catalfamo, is already raving like a raving thing about the new multi-access, multi-capable platform that communicates in broadband, locates you like a cruise missile, speaks in tongues and not only makes toast but butters it, slathers it in jam and then eats it for you.
You've got to admire early adopters. There's something admirable about the way they fling themselves over the cliff edge first just to see what happens...
Meanwhile, those with high speed data connections (3G, I would suggest) and superior S60 platforms such as the svelte Nokia N73 might like to try playing around with Google Maps - Google Earth for the mobile! Point your mobile at: www.google.co.uk/gmm and enjoy!
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