So now you can pay for your Salik using your mobile. Whoopee.
I don't need that service, thanks to the Dubai e-government payment portal, which crashed last time I tried to pay my Salik, a couple of months ago. It blew out the transaction with an error message. I tried again, same result. I thought I'd give it a go at 'third time lucky' but it just came back again with a failure and error message.
Next day I had Dhs750 of Salik credit. The RTA blamed the e-government payment portal, the e-government people blamed Salik. Neither would contemplate (against the TOS, I believe, of Visa) a refund of the erroneously credited Dhs500. I sent email after email to the e-Pay people. Nada.
I also raised a complaint to HSBC Visa, who have been brilliantly silent on the matter since.
I remain a Salik millionaire. But I shudder to think what financial carnage could be achieved by the combination of RTA, Etisalat, e-Pay and HSBC, particularly bearing in mind that Etisalat will only discuss a billing problem once the bill has been settled and that the other three won't discuss a problem at all.
A confederacy of dunces indeed...
Monday, 20 October 2008
Sunday, 19 October 2008
SPLASH
Stop press
Sammy the Shark is to be released!
Following a brave, crusading campaign by this blog (and a couple of stories that ran in some newspaper or other), I can now confirm that Sammy the Whale Shark is to be released 'at some time in the future' according to the report in The National.
When? Some Time In The Future.
Sammy the Shark is to be released!
Following a brave, crusading campaign by this blog (and a couple of stories that ran in some newspaper or other), I can now confirm that Sammy the Whale Shark is to be released 'at some time in the future' according to the report in The National.
When? Some Time In The Future.
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20
Warning: ‘I can remember when this was all sand’ post.
This year will be my 20th GITEX. Back in 1988 it was a two-hall show – the second hall was a new feature, the MacWorld exhibition. The exhibitor party was a barbecue held on the small lawn at the back of the Apartments Club, one of the last remaining, marvellous, pieces of ‘70s Dubai. The show was mostly shell scheme stands, pirate software and shuffling brochure-hunters.
I met a teacher while out exploring the town. It was at a low nightclub in the Dubai Marine Hotel. A tiny, dark and pretty crap sort of place. You wouldn’t usually catch me dead in a nightclub, let alone one as ill-favoured as Cavaliers. It turned out the same was true of the teacher, who was only there because her friends had dragged her there. Mrs McNabb, as she is known today, is the product of that rarest of things: a GITEX romance...
This year will be my 20th GITEX. Back in 1988 it was a two-hall show – the second hall was a new feature, the MacWorld exhibition. The exhibitor party was a barbecue held on the small lawn at the back of the Apartments Club, one of the last remaining, marvellous, pieces of ‘70s Dubai. The show was mostly shell scheme stands, pirate software and shuffling brochure-hunters.
I met a teacher while out exploring the town. It was at a low nightclub in the Dubai Marine Hotel. A tiny, dark and pretty crap sort of place. You wouldn’t usually catch me dead in a nightclub, let alone one as ill-favoured as Cavaliers. It turned out the same was true of the teacher, who was only there because her friends had dragged her there. Mrs McNabb, as she is known today, is the product of that rarest of things: a GITEX romance...
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Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Fishy
Gulf News is like a pit-bull on strychnine with this Sammy The Shark story: they've got their jaws clamped on its leg and they're not letting go. It's rapidly turning into a case study media nightmare.
Today's soaraway kilo of dead tree has got a story that is going to escalate the whole thing beyond reason: The Atlantis Hotel was apparently actively searching for a whale shark to put in its aquarium and Sammy was nabbed on purpose!
It's a pretty damning story, if it's true. Gulf News asserts that the 'rescue' story was a lie, that fishermen were sent out to collect specimens of Gulf aquatic fauna to populate the hotel's aquariums and that Sammy was one of a number of fish that were 'caught to order'.
Given the slightly dodgy sounding circumstances of the shark's 'rescue', Gulf News must have felt it was on pretty safe ground with this one.
It's almost good enough to forgive them for dubbing the brute 'Sammy'. The key will be whether Gulf News can keep this story going - and whether this latest revelation will be picked up by other news media.
Today's soaraway kilo of dead tree has got a story that is going to escalate the whole thing beyond reason: The Atlantis Hotel was apparently actively searching for a whale shark to put in its aquarium and Sammy was nabbed on purpose!
It's a pretty damning story, if it's true. Gulf News asserts that the 'rescue' story was a lie, that fishermen were sent out to collect specimens of Gulf aquatic fauna to populate the hotel's aquariums and that Sammy was one of a number of fish that were 'caught to order'.
Given the slightly dodgy sounding circumstances of the shark's 'rescue', Gulf News must have felt it was on pretty safe ground with this one.
It's almost good enough to forgive them for dubbing the brute 'Sammy'. The key will be whether Gulf News can keep this story going - and whether this latest revelation will be picked up by other news media.
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Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Jams
It's constantly building - jam today and more of jam tomorrow...
There’s an awful lot of talk about the traffic in Dubai, but next door things are quietly getting pretty damn grim.
The closure of the middle and upper stretches of Sharjah’s main road, Al Wahda Street has been accompanied by roadworks on, as far as I can see, pretty much every major road in the city – particularly those leading East. There are major diversions in place on Book Roundabout (Officially Cultural Square, because as eny fule no, roundabouts are square – at least they all are in Sharjah), the road that connects with Dubai’s Beirut street, the Ajman road (and the connecting road past Swiss Cottage/the Al Owais Majlis) and the roads past the vegetable market.
The result has been absolute chaos, particularly in the mornings. Here’s the rub: when you ‘plan’ a city so that all the schools and universities are located outside the main city, to the east, you may want to think about having some roads open that lead - errr – east. But there’s one. A single, sad little road. The route in question, the Dhaid road, has been expanded (it took ages) to become a three-lane highway. But that’s nowhere near enough to cope with the volumes of traffic it’s being asked to handle right now. It’s the major, and only unencumbered, access to the Emirates Road, the 611, the airport and to the Universities, as well as to anywhere in the interior and the East coast.
The only alternative road, the Mileiha Road, leads from the Emirates Road at the infamous National Paints roundabout, so it’s pretty much inaccessible for much of the morning due to the massive volumes of traffic clogging up the entire road network around that area. Including all the saps that bought the Ras Al Khaimah '45 minutes from Dubai’ line. And there are roadworks on that road, too!
If something happens, then, on that one clear road East (which is fast clogging in multi-kilometre snarl-ups up of its own accord as early as 6.15am and getting earlier daily), the consequences are disastrous. We’re looking at people spending two hours and mlre in traffic before leaving Sharjah: schools where classes aren’t starting until an hour after they should because parents aren’t able to get through the snarling, aggressive lines of awful traffic and at multi-kilometre tailbacks that make the Ittihad Road look attractive.
And then, compounding all this, we have the added delight of Sharjah’s drivers. Arguably Less rigorously held to account than drivers are next door, these boys just love the hard shoulder, push their way around using sheer weight and will instantly create six lanes of traffic at any point whenever two lanes are narrowed to one. And because the Dhaid road leads to the University, you can chuck in a couple hundred FJ cruisers driven by hotheads with dangerously high testosterone levels every morning, too.
Nope. You lot in Dubai have got it easy, right now.
There’s an awful lot of talk about the traffic in Dubai, but next door things are quietly getting pretty damn grim.
The closure of the middle and upper stretches of Sharjah’s main road, Al Wahda Street has been accompanied by roadworks on, as far as I can see, pretty much every major road in the city – particularly those leading East. There are major diversions in place on Book Roundabout (Officially Cultural Square, because as eny fule no, roundabouts are square – at least they all are in Sharjah), the road that connects with Dubai’s Beirut street, the Ajman road (and the connecting road past Swiss Cottage/the Al Owais Majlis) and the roads past the vegetable market.
The result has been absolute chaos, particularly in the mornings. Here’s the rub: when you ‘plan’ a city so that all the schools and universities are located outside the main city, to the east, you may want to think about having some roads open that lead - errr – east. But there’s one. A single, sad little road. The route in question, the Dhaid road, has been expanded (it took ages) to become a three-lane highway. But that’s nowhere near enough to cope with the volumes of traffic it’s being asked to handle right now. It’s the major, and only unencumbered, access to the Emirates Road, the 611, the airport and to the Universities, as well as to anywhere in the interior and the East coast.
The only alternative road, the Mileiha Road, leads from the Emirates Road at the infamous National Paints roundabout, so it’s pretty much inaccessible for much of the morning due to the massive volumes of traffic clogging up the entire road network around that area. Including all the saps that bought the Ras Al Khaimah '45 minutes from Dubai’ line. And there are roadworks on that road, too!
If something happens, then, on that one clear road East (which is fast clogging in multi-kilometre snarl-ups up of its own accord as early as 6.15am and getting earlier daily), the consequences are disastrous. We’re looking at people spending two hours and mlre in traffic before leaving Sharjah: schools where classes aren’t starting until an hour after they should because parents aren’t able to get through the snarling, aggressive lines of awful traffic and at multi-kilometre tailbacks that make the Ittihad Road look attractive.
And then, compounding all this, we have the added delight of Sharjah’s drivers. Arguably Less rigorously held to account than drivers are next door, these boys just love the hard shoulder, push their way around using sheer weight and will instantly create six lanes of traffic at any point whenever two lanes are narrowed to one. And because the Dhaid road leads to the University, you can chuck in a couple hundred FJ cruisers driven by hotheads with dangerously high testosterone levels every morning, too.
Nope. You lot in Dubai have got it easy, right now.
Send to Kindle
Monday, 13 October 2008
Books
I have previously ranted about Authonomy, the HarperCollins alternative to the publisher’s slushpile. I am glad I discovered it for any number of reasons, but one has been the chance to read a hell of a lot of original fiction that you, the consumer, are not and possibly would not otherwise be exposed to. It's Web 2.0 thinking at its best: the site is completely populated by content from its participants. And what content!!
It’s interesting that you have a chance to participate in this new egalitanariasm: if you’re a keen reader, you can sign up for Authonomy yourself and vote the type of books you like to the top of the chart, to the HarperCollins Editors’ Desk. Each month, the top five books are plucked for a read by HC editors. As I have said before, most authors would wax their bits in public for a chance to get that sort of attention.
So you can actually influence the kinds of books that are being sorted and selected. If, like me, you wander around bookshops wondering why there’s so much mediocrity there, Authonomy actually has the potential to act as a barometer of public opinion.
So here’s some of the writing I have encountered in my journeys around Authonomy: writing that has delighted me or otherwise convinced me that there’s more good and interesting work in all this unpublished stuff than there is in my local bookshop.
Incidentally, most people would expect me to use this as an opportunity to plug my own book, Space, on Authonomy. But I’m above that. It might be the No. 1 thriller, No. 2 comedy and No. 3 sci-fi on this site, but I’d hardly expect you to click on this handy link and read, laugh at and back my own book first. I am simply not that kind of chap.
Right. Here’s my guide to a tasting of smart new literature from unsigned UK, Australian and American authors.
The Banjo Players Must Die by Josef Assad is one of the more original and challenging books on Authonomy. It’s as mad as a hatter’s convention and insanely creative and funny.
Evil Unlimited by my mate Simon Forward is one of the top ranked books on Authonomy, a funny and madcap sci-fi comedy that somehow makes you think of the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then feel ashamed of yourself because it's an original book with its own life and style to it. Do try it!
Going to the Mountain, by JW Reitz. A luscious book about growing up as a settler in Xhosa country, about looking back on your life’s action: guilt, as the author says, and sex and death.
Sunday’s Child by Anne Lyken-Gardner is a dark but beautifully told tale of a childhood of abuse in Latin America. It’s a haunting and lyrical work that some will find traumatically evocative. It's one of my favourite things on Authonomy.
The Girl on the Swing by Ali Cooper is a book that attracted me for all the wrong reasons: not my kind of book at all. But its clever, dense language and descriptive prose soon turn into a book that captures you.
You want action, Asian gogo bars and big gun, move fast thriller stuff? This is the book for you, Hunting Buddha by Jamie DeBaisio is a really fast paced gangsta book set in Hong Kong. Guaranteed riveting read from Ch1.
How about a bit of ‘classic’ sci-fi? Bob Pickup is a train driver by day who composes intergalactic science fiction that’s about as ‘out there’ as you’d want and highly readable, too.
And, of course famed blogger Keefieboy's new (and timely!?) financial crash book, Tybalt and Theo, which time-switches between present day disaster and a distant, simpler past...
There’s loads more out there – well over a thousand books are now on Authonomy and anyone can go along, dip into them, chat to the authors and generally have an influence on the way new writing in the UK is shaping up.
And I, for one, find that exhilarating. Give it a whirl – and don’t forget Space!!!
It’s interesting that you have a chance to participate in this new egalitanariasm: if you’re a keen reader, you can sign up for Authonomy yourself and vote the type of books you like to the top of the chart, to the HarperCollins Editors’ Desk. Each month, the top five books are plucked for a read by HC editors. As I have said before, most authors would wax their bits in public for a chance to get that sort of attention.
So you can actually influence the kinds of books that are being sorted and selected. If, like me, you wander around bookshops wondering why there’s so much mediocrity there, Authonomy actually has the potential to act as a barometer of public opinion.
So here’s some of the writing I have encountered in my journeys around Authonomy: writing that has delighted me or otherwise convinced me that there’s more good and interesting work in all this unpublished stuff than there is in my local bookshop.
Incidentally, most people would expect me to use this as an opportunity to plug my own book, Space, on Authonomy. But I’m above that. It might be the No. 1 thriller, No. 2 comedy and No. 3 sci-fi on this site, but I’d hardly expect you to click on this handy link and read, laugh at and back my own book first. I am simply not that kind of chap.
Right. Here’s my guide to a tasting of smart new literature from unsigned UK, Australian and American authors.
The Banjo Players Must Die by Josef Assad is one of the more original and challenging books on Authonomy. It’s as mad as a hatter’s convention and insanely creative and funny.
Evil Unlimited by my mate Simon Forward is one of the top ranked books on Authonomy, a funny and madcap sci-fi comedy that somehow makes you think of the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then feel ashamed of yourself because it's an original book with its own life and style to it. Do try it!
Going to the Mountain, by JW Reitz. A luscious book about growing up as a settler in Xhosa country, about looking back on your life’s action: guilt, as the author says, and sex and death.
Sunday’s Child by Anne Lyken-Gardner is a dark but beautifully told tale of a childhood of abuse in Latin America. It’s a haunting and lyrical work that some will find traumatically evocative. It's one of my favourite things on Authonomy.
The Girl on the Swing by Ali Cooper is a book that attracted me for all the wrong reasons: not my kind of book at all. But its clever, dense language and descriptive prose soon turn into a book that captures you.
You want action, Asian gogo bars and big gun, move fast thriller stuff? This is the book for you, Hunting Buddha by Jamie DeBaisio is a really fast paced gangsta book set in Hong Kong. Guaranteed riveting read from Ch1.
How about a bit of ‘classic’ sci-fi? Bob Pickup is a train driver by day who composes intergalactic science fiction that’s about as ‘out there’ as you’d want and highly readable, too.
And, of course famed blogger Keefieboy's new (and timely!?) financial crash book, Tybalt and Theo, which time-switches between present day disaster and a distant, simpler past...
There’s loads more out there – well over a thousand books are now on Authonomy and anyone can go along, dip into them, chat to the authors and generally have an influence on the way new writing in the UK is shaping up.
And I, for one, find that exhilarating. Give it a whirl – and don’t forget Space!!!
Send to Kindle
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Traffic
If you've got a 4WD, there's a sandy snicket between Sharjah and Dubai that lets you miss all that nasty, snarled up traffic in the mornings; the roadworks, the congestion, the Salik gates and all that other 'orrible commute to work unpleasantness that are part of the miserable day for thousands of people.
I've been waiting to snap one of these boys for a while, but I got 'im this morning.
It's bad isn't it, when even the 'solution' has to avoid the 'problem'?
(Note for puzzled non-UAE residents: the logo on the car belongs to Dubai's traffic regulator, the RTA...)
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Thursday, 9 October 2008
Sammy
Gulf News has really got the bit between its teeth.
Today's FREE SAMMY THE SHARK campaign kicks off with considerable style: readers are offered a free 'Free Sammy the Shark' badge inside. Amazed at this new munificence (it was only last week that our two Gulf News 'Save the Planet' Jute Bags arrived), I was delighted to see that said badge is indeed printed inside on the paper's Page 3, along with instructions to Make your own Free Sammy the Shark badge! All you have to do is cut out the badge from Gulf News, affix it to a piece of cardboard and then cut out the shape from the cardboard. Then carefully attach a safety pin to the back and hey presto! You too can then show your support for the campaign by emailing a picture of yourself wearing the badge to Gulf News! If you live overseas and don't have a GN on paper, never fear! You can download a badge to print here!
(Environmentalists have come out against The Atlantis Hotel in Dubai keeping a whale shark, which was found in distress off Jumeirah some time ago and added to the hotel's aquarium. It's the latest in a growing string of PR nightmares being experienced by the hotel and the GN campagin won't be helping. Right thing to do? Free the shark, fast.)
Today's FREE SAMMY THE SHARK campaign kicks off with considerable style: readers are offered a free 'Free Sammy the Shark' badge inside. Amazed at this new munificence (it was only last week that our two Gulf News 'Save the Planet' Jute Bags arrived), I was delighted to see that said badge is indeed printed inside on the paper's Page 3, along with instructions to Make your own Free Sammy the Shark badge! All you have to do is cut out the badge from Gulf News, affix it to a piece of cardboard and then cut out the shape from the cardboard. Then carefully attach a safety pin to the back and hey presto! You too can then show your support for the campaign by emailing a picture of yourself wearing the badge to Gulf News! If you live overseas and don't have a GN on paper, never fear! You can download a badge to print here!
(Environmentalists have come out against The Atlantis Hotel in Dubai keeping a whale shark, which was found in distress off Jumeirah some time ago and added to the hotel's aquarium. It's the latest in a growing string of PR nightmares being experienced by the hotel and the GN campagin won't be helping. Right thing to do? Free the shark, fast.)
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Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Geekdom
For such a smart company, Google can be incredibly daft at times. Do you ever get an Arabic interface on www.google.com because you've been redirected to www.google.ae which automatically decides you're an Arabic speaker?
Yes?
Then prepare to wire me Dhs 100 for I have the answer to your woes. Go here. Now click on the third link down (Google: no country redirect) and click OK. A plug-in will be installed that fixes the Google "I assume you're an Arabic speaker because you're browsing from the Middle East's biggest international jet-set hot spot, tourist hub and international community" tomfoolery.
No, no, don't thank me. Just wire the cash or go to Authonomy and read Space. Did I mention it was now at number 9? Oh, OK. Sorry...
Yes?
Then prepare to wire me Dhs 100 for I have the answer to your woes. Go here. Now click on the third link down (Google: no country redirect) and click OK. A plug-in will be installed that fixes the Google "I assume you're an Arabic speaker because you're browsing from the Middle East's biggest international jet-set hot spot, tourist hub and international community" tomfoolery.
No, no, don't thank me. Just wire the cash or go to Authonomy and read Space. Did I mention it was now at number 9? Oh, OK. Sorry...
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Tuesday, 7 October 2008
Link
Here's a link to the official Death of Satwa website.
I have previously alluded to my deep fondness for Satwa, the last outpost of real 'organic' community living, where you can truly live out your dreams in a realistic and not unpleasant mix of cultures and communities. Since November last year, it's been clear that Satwa is going to become Squishwa.
Now we can see the whole awful thing in 3D renderings and gushy newspaper stories about the wonderful Dhs 350bn megaproject. The coverage is unsullied by a single critical word.
There's no doubt that the plans are amazing. The buildings are breathtaking. And I'm sure we all feel suitable astounded and dwarfed by it all. We're all pretty impressed down here, I can tell you.
The project will, according to Gulf News, 'redefine living in one of the most popular neighbourhoods of Dubai'.
GN doesn't go on to say why Satwa is one of the most popular neighbourhoods of Dubai: it's one of the few places where many people can afford to live. It's 'real' and has great places to wander around, eat and shop in real streets, not malls. It's close to the beach and sits bang between Deira and 'new Dubai'. It's got location, location, location without the mad rental price tags.
The new project will certainly be redefining things for all of us currently living and working in Satwa. It'll be redefining us the hell out of here to make way for some nice, planned, communities just like Jumeirah Beach Residence.
I am so very happy.
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