Iraqi Shoe Thrower Sentenced

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Iraqi journalist Muntadhar Al Zeidi has been sentenced to three years in prison for throwing his shoes at former US President George W. Bush ('Thickie' to his friends), reports Associated Press.

Al Zeidi pled innocent: "What I did was a natural response to the occupation," he said.

He could have been sentenced to up to 15 years, so some have talked of leniency. Others point out that many of us would pay good money to a) have done it ourselves b) see it done again or c) have a range of other objects thrown at Thickie.

Anyway, Spot On PR is hosting a poll on the affair and so you can goto this link here and vote on whether you think the sentence is barking or not.

Have a lovely weekend!

Bye George

I'd just like to say goodbye to George Bush.

Goodbye, George Bush.

Just before he goes, here's a chance to reprise one of my favourite things written about him. I'm sorry it's written by me, but a chap's gotta give himself the occasional pat on the back, no? It's here: I do hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'm sorry about the insanely heavy weight of expectation on Barack Obama's shoulders. I hardly dare to think that anyone can live up to all that. But if he comes through and is a decent, straightforward man with a gift for oratory and backed by a strong advisory team that he has the guts to go with, then he'll be a million times better than the bumbling hick cretin that has done so much damage to our world in so many ways.

The invasion of Gaza now stands as the last shameful act in a shameful and venial Presidency. It is a fitting testament to the man who chose to be the puppet with the fat fingers of right wing America up his arse.

Playing

The majority of the online Arab World will play this game today.

Mark my words.

It's here.

(You have to be impressed at the sheer speed of this!)

Chick

As you'll know by now, John McCain's running mate is the previously unknown Sarah Palin, who became governor of Alaska two years ago. Before that, she was the mayor of somewhere we've never heard of in Alaska. She didn't even have a passport until last year. She had to get that, apparently, to make a visit to some Alaskan troops serving in Kuwait.

That somewhere we've never heard of, by the way, is called Wasilla. It is home to 8,500 people. You'd have to be pretty talented to go from representing 8,500 people to being namechecked as the potential vice president of the United States of America within a couple of years, wouldn't you?

A deeply pro-oil industry conservative (which, it would appear, you'd have to be to get anywhere in Alaska) through and through, Palin is a passionate pro-arms lobbyist and a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. Her office is decorated with the pelt of a bear shot by her father. She is an evangelical Christian and deeply opposed to abortion. She's gone on the record as saying that she doesn't believe that global warming is man-made and she is opposed to listing polar bears as an endangered species. She is also apparently under investigation by the Alaskan legislature, which will rule on October 30th regarding her conduct over the sacking of Alaska's public safety commissioner. The election is due five days afterwards.

Although she seemed like a lady of some substance when she gave her acceptance address, I also found myself wondering whether McCain's people picked her in a cynical 'get the girlie vote' gambit. I also wonder how much he really knows about her - take a look at this, for instance - particularly the bit about that investigation.

So we're looking at a deeply religious, ultra-conservative redneck with a taste for shooting things who has arguably little or no knowledge of the world outside being proposed to be the second most powerful person in the world's most powerful country.

You do have to worry, don't you? I'd be laughing about it, except that I've just reminded myself of who the president is, still...

"Yaa Boo Sucks to You!" - Bush Gets Tough

According to reports from Voice of America, Iran's parliament has passed a resolution calling on the government to designate the United States Army and Central Intelligence Agency as "terrorist organizations."

This information comes to me courtesy of pal and deliciously manic pixie Sara Refai, who occasionally surfs the Internet looking for odd things, like a sort of collector of informational fag butts. I mean fag butts in the British rather than American sense, obviously.

The Iranian resolution, according to VoA, was approved Saturday by 215 lawmakers in Iran's 290-seat parliament, which is dominated by conservatives. The resolution says the U.S. Army and CIA should be considered terrorists because they provide support to Israel in its operations against Palestinian and Lebanese militants. The move is in retaliation for the the Bush administration branding the Iranians terrorists. The administration apparently said in August it is considering designating all or part of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards as a terrorist organization.

So the US calls Iran terrorists and Iran calls the US terrorists and that's supposed to take us forwards. Am I the only person in the world, I wonder, who worries that the people with their hands on those nasty little red buttons appear to think they're still on the playground?

George Bush Colon Cancer Scare: Brilliant!

Do you understand what happened here? They removed polyps from his colon. That means the simian wee bastard had a rectally inserted laproscopy procedure. They gave him 48 hours’ worth of wickedly chemical laxatives that made him shit himself clear (literally), together with a 48 hour ‘no solids’ regime. Over the past two days, he’s eaten nothing but consommé and drunk nothing but water and apple juice. He’s had to take a number of evilly effective chemical laxative doses that had him speeding at absolutely no notice to the bog to void himself in an uncontrollable frenzy of shitting an increasingly watery and uncomfortable stream of warm gleet. And then they slapped a dose of pethedine into his withered veins (Christ, but I bet that reminded him of how a bottle of Jack felt) and slid a KY-smothered fibre optic 'scope into his puckered little Texan ass.

But that’s just the beginning...

Then they pumped air into his colon to inflate it so that the cameras can see around. It’s despicably uncomfortable, like someone released a high pressure airline into your gut. People who’ve done it without the happy juice have been known to scream with the pain of it all.

And then they excised lumps of his lower gut (videotaped – I can’t WAIT for the bootleg) with a hot wire loop so that he could shit it out in a stream of post-operative blood and KY jelly, like a pretty new resident of a Texan jail taking his first crap.

No wonder he handed over to Dick Cheney. Who wants the Free World to be in the hands of a drugged up psychopath who's lost control of his bowels and is taking a royally huge instrument up his ass?

Oh. Hang on. That's pretty much situation normal, isn't it? You'd almost wonder why they bothered calling Dick at all, wouldn't you?

This is something that people in the Arab World should be told about. It will bring them a little moment of joy. Particularly the Iraqis...

Putin 1 Bush 0

(Picture: Reuters)

It's incredible to see how much of a statesman Vladimir Putin looks like when he's standing next to that terrible, simian little man. Even the body language, Putin's hand over Georgie's, dominating him, leaning into him as Bush's wooden elbow and slight backwards tilt tell that while he's concentrating on leering at the camera to show how much he's enjoying shaking hands with his great friend Pooty-Poot, he's actually desperately uncomfortable.

He manages to come across as fake, dumb and insincere - a communications management nightmare, all braggadocio and simplistic 'Hollywood President' swaggering tough talk. And yet you get the distinct impression that the alcoholic under-achiever is never far from the surface - the driving, nagging insistence of his self-doubt and insecurity making him grab at the wrong gesture, the wrong thing to say. It's the danger of the man.

Putin is dangerous himself, but it's a different dangerous. He's self-assured, relaxed, experienced and in control of himself. The worry is that one of these men leads the world's most powerful nation - and it's not the one that any decent alien would want to be taken to if it saw this picture. Putin's gambit of offering Azerbaijan as an alternative to Eastern Europe as a place to put a missile shield against Iran was, of course, brilliance. Azerbaijan makes sense. The question is whether George ever really intended to put up a shield against Iran.

He's known as 'Boosh' in the Arab World, like his father was before him. Except people didn't laugh at mention of his father's name.