Argh! Modhesh! The Return of the Yellow Fiend!

Sorry. Meant friend, not fiend. The return of the yellow friend.

Every year we see the smiling little dear trotted out to decorate the roundabouts and meeting places of Dubai and every year I feel the need to mark my first sighting with a little celebration of the infinite-eyed tide of grinning evil. It's become something of a ritual, to the point where the gnarled, bitter old man that is Dubai Radio DJ Catboy (@Catboy_Dubai) accused me of doing the manic yellow spring's PR!

As the piece of string said to the barman, I'm a frayed knot. I will always be on the other side of the divide where the squeaky voiced scion of scintillating summer surprises is concerned. Eyeing him askance, distrustful of those open arms and that Bolivian neck-tie smile, I'll carry on crossing to the other side of the road in case by some strange quirk, the anthropomorphism goes too far and he comes to life, joined by his fellow Modheshes in a spine-chilling tide of Zombie Modheshes, tearing flesh and consuming all in their path.

It is officially summer, folks...

Update
It struck me this morning that the Modheshes that sparked my alarm are cunningly located around the approaches to the Arabian Travel Market show, so these might just be pre-summer promotional Modheshes.

Oh NOES! Modhesh is BACK!

Golly! Has it really been ten long years?

He's started to pop up around the city again, little splashes of yellow now adorn every street sign and grassy verges carry life-sized statues of the infinite-eyed one. Soon we'll be inundated with the little swine (sorry, 'beloved icon') and his unique brand of fun. And somehow I think we're going to see more of him than usual as Dubai kicks into uber-promotional mode to counter the slowdown.

Membership of that naughty Facebook group has started to rise again. I wouldn't mind taking anyone's money that it'll be over the 1,000 mark by the weekend.

We can only be grateful that they left it so late to get everything going - it's only three days until the Dubai Summer Surprises shopping festival starts and he's only just starting to pop up everywhere.

Apparently Modhesh Fun City is to become Modhesh World this year. The slightly muckle-headed announcement fails to give a location, but we can only assume the Airport Expo. This will be home, the announcement gushes, to over 37,000 square metres of fun.

I can't wait.

The My Modhesh website is currently crashing when you click on any of the tabs to the left of the home page, which is quite fun. And the DSF Website is still carrying January dates on its page heads and a January release on its home page, despite all the over-excited claptrap on there about how Modhesh is a harbinger of cheer for small children everywhere. Mind you, it could be worse. It could be 'Under Construction' like the Dubai Summer Surprises website!

They'll need to spruce those up in the next day or two, won't they?

Evil

I don't know what it is with people and Modhesh. Last year one grumpy blogger even went so far as to refer to our cheery little yellow friend as a relentless tide of infinite-eyed, grinning evil! Some people have no sense of fun!

But the time is upon us again as Modhesh statues start to appear around Dubai. The endearing little chap is the mascot of Dubai's Summer Surprises shopping festival, although his ubiquity appears to annoy certain groups of irritable expatriates. Shame on them for being so grumpy!

Yesterday saw the official press conference to inaugurate this years' festivities and they're sure to include loads of wonderful Modhesh fun. And who could complain at the little chap's cheery ways as the thermometer hits 50C and we sweat our way through a summer of stop start traffic and construction-related mayhem?

Oddly, the press event appears to have generated less than stunning coverage: this government story didn't even make it to Emirates Business 24x7, which is simply amazing. But I'm sure it'll pick up soon enough.

He's got his own website, you know, although all the links appear to be broken...

Whatever, he'll be with us for the next couple of months... everywhere, everyday and in every way... Happy summer, friends!

Out of Control

Oh dear. I don't seem to be able to stop myself! All sorts of naughty 'Modhesh is Evil' scenarios are unfolding in front of me!!!

It's deep in mid-summer and I need a holiday. That's my only excuse your honour...

Proof that it IS Evil!

In celebration of the 1000th member of the chucklesome Facebook Group: proof that he is, indeed, evil.

Hmmm... I can feel a meme coming on...

Shopper's Paradise

Today's Emarat Al Youm has a news story blaring the great news that retail sales in Dubai have gone through the roof this summer, obviously thanks to the Dubai Summer Surprises festival which is headed, as over 900 Facebook Group joining (it's going to hit the 1,000 by the weekend) people know, by the infinite-eyed grinning yellow evil that is Modhesh Al Modhesh.

25% increase in shoppers shrills the page 18 headline, backed up by the picture caption, Boutiques and accessory shops had the highest share of Festival sales.

Delightfully, the huge image used to illustrate the story is that of an completely empty shop.

One can only conjecture that they had been scared away temporarily by the appearance of a hungry, ravening Modhesh...

Dubai Grumpy Surprises

How strange. This blog set out, at least in part, to be a good-natured celebration of the rich source of amusement to be derived from the quixotic and frequently barmy Emirates and as the summer gets truly underway it’s just becoming grumpy and generally arsey – the very thing I didn’t want it to be! Blame the weather. The car’s thermometer is reading anywhere from 40-48C in the sun, the humidity’s way up on the gloopy hot air scale, everyone seems to have gone home or be travelling the world except for a smattering of bachelors - and our own leave, booked around two long-anticipated weddings, is still almost a month away.

All you want to do is crawl away under a tree somewhere cool and green and read books or wander through soft, cool spring rain.

Rats.

It’s almost enough to make you complain about living in a tax-free, beach-infested sunny place with wall to wall five star hotels that’s one of the most secure places in the world, isn’t it?

Which reminds me of being at home a couple of years ago with Sarah, who was trying to explain to someone at a party or something that living in the Emirates isn't really all life in a bed of roses. For instance, you can’t just go to the restaurant down the road here and get a bottle of wine with your food, because only hotels can legally serve alcohol. “Look,” she said. “We can’t even buy a drink unless we’re in a five star hotel!”

Woopsie. That one came out wrong! They were crying for us, they really were…

Meanwhile, over 600 people have now discovered an outlet for those summer frustrations... >;0)

Death to Modhesh: Facebook Catches up With Our Little Yellow Fiend (Sorry, I meant Friend)

Yes, that most pernicious of social networks has kicked into action and there's now a Facebook Group 'Death to Modhesh'.

Oh dear, oh dear. What is it that these naughty people can't take about our cheerful little fiend?

Well, in the Group's own words:

I've decided to create a group that finally says what all the normal sane people (yes, all 5 of them) living in Dubai have repeatedly said: Modhesh is EVIL and should be abolished.

The yellow abomination is haunting me. I've never been in such constant close contact with a yellow Jack-in-the-box.

It's the result of a Banana and a Slinky having an affair. It also gives a whole new meaning to 'Bad Hair Day'

This of course not to mention the Nasal voice and annoying grin.

All In All...I raise my voice saying 'DEATH TO MODHESH'

Well, well, well. Some people have NO SENSE OF FUN AT ALL. Really.

Modhesh Delivers Dubai Summer Surprises

"Registrations for the exclusive DSS summer event, the Modhesh Friends' Club, take a hectic pace as a number of parents accompanied by their holidaying children are rushing to the DSS Office to grab the last few remaining seats available for the Club all set to start on June 24."

So, in tones of overwrought hysteria, goes the press release announcing that uptake has been a little slower than anticipated for the Modhesh Friends' Club summer kids' event. It's quite possible, of course, that demand has been reduced because parents simply don't believe they'd have a chance of getting their kid in because the demand would be so great. After all, as the press release (posted here on arabianbusiness.com) tells us, application forms are "fast flying off the shelves" so it must be popular.

If you'd like to learn more about Modhesh, you can go here. There's more information there than anybody in their right minds can take, all presented in a comforting palette of colours designed to trigger scary roller-coaster flashbacks from that time you dropped an experimental tab or two back at Uni. In fact, uncontrollable brain-skitter is a constant danger in Modhesh's online world, but I do recommend you pop in to enjoy, if nothing else, the relentless tone of the prose offered up to you.

Here's a sample:

"His popularity is truly inspiring, growing constantly over the years. As summer time approaches children anxiously wait for their favourite character to return and become a part of their lives. His yearly visits to Dubai win him friends and fans in huge numbers indicating to his popularity among children of all ages. Even grown-ups can’t help but join in the celebrations when Modhesh invites them to shop at the malls or be a part of the weekly themed events."

Quite.

The Tide of Evil

The summer is upon us and the relentless tide of infinite-eyed, grinning evil is around the corner.

Meanwhile, the Modhesh Friends' Club has been announced: up to 300 lucky children between the ages of 3 and 12 will be able to, for a fee of just Dhs 1,000, take part in summer activities and 'edutainment' thanks to the team at the Dubai Shopping Festival. From June 24 to August 24, kids will be looked after from 10am to 4pm. Parents can register children by supplying two photographs and a passport copy. Passport copy? Are they for REAL?

Yes! They are! The passport copy, says the DSF press release, is required for age verification purposes. They're obviously worrying that people like me will sneak in by wearing short trousers. Or perhaps that the under threes will creep in and bully the older kids.

Whatever. Let's not be mean-minded. I'm certainly looking forward to seeing a lot more of our plucky little yellow friend over the summer to come. It's filling my heart with stuff already.

The Fear Returns

Like the commercial frenzy that is the Christmas season, Dubai's summer season seems to get earlier every year. It's only the second of May and already the infinite-eyed yellow menace has popped up, specifically in today's Arabic language Al Ittihad newspaper. Worse, one's been spotted on Trade Center Roundabout. And that means we'll soon be seeing a great deal more of the little sucker.

Yes, it's Modhesh, the yellow jack in the box crossed with a mutant maggot. And you can bet your bottom dollar that he'll be popping into our lives with his unique blend of relentless, manic zeal for the next five months. Modhesh grinning satanically at us from every roundabout and pavement, filling the business sections of our newspapers, playing in bouncy kiddy-castle style videos every time we fly or take a taxi, leering out at us from a million handbills, advertisements and photofeatures.

It's not fair. It's not even officially summer. As everyone knows, it's only truly summer when Gulf News publishes a photo of a pigeon drinking from a tap...