Ve Middul Eeste Pee Aar Awordes

Beavis and Butt-Head via last.fm

There's something slightly worrying about a room filled with over 500 PRs. It's a happy zone, tides of positivity washing against the walls.

The 'practitioners' are all chatting away happily, a tumultuous babble, but I'm sitting at a table of journalists, the usual criminals of the Middle East's marketing media waiting for someone to fall so they can eviscerate them, their jaws slavering at the very thought and evil grins stretched across their drink-sodden faces.

The MC is shouty, trying to get people to stop talking. You'd have thought that 500 people talking together and sharing experience, best practice and all that was what MEPRA was all about, but apparently not. She's screaming STOP TALKING YA YA YA at us and slowly people get the message.

We're good at crafting and communicating messages, but getting them is not quite our forté, apparently. Ya ya ya.

American people shouting at me reminded me, for some reason, of watching the news on CNN...

The MC and various types gathered on the stage to pass over awards to a bunch of PRs. Some bloke from HSBC made some lacklustre (well, he'd hardly sparkle, would he?) jokes about the collective noun for PR people - a flock of flaks, apparently.

Any contributions in the comments about the collective noun for HSBC employees would be appreciated. I though perhaps a dribble of d... well, never mind. Yayaya.

By now, the press are restive. The jerks of drumroll tape that occasionally peppered events was starting to get its reward, bursts of malign laughter from the hock of hacks around me. I've heard that type of laughter before, at a performance of Othello at The National - Felicity ("Felicity, Felicity, you fill me with electricity", according to Ade Edmonson at his loquacious finest) Kendal as Desdemona bursting satisfactorily out of a Nell Gwynne dress while Paul Scofield hammed it up so badly that Othello's soliloqy to his dead lover drew gales of the stuff from the audience.

This was nasty laughter, the laughter of the cut-purse about to make his move as he stalks the dark, wet streets of Elizabethan London.

The worst of them is Allison, his faux-genteel Edinburgh accent masking his guttersnipe urges, egged on by AdNation's vile Elliot ('the Bear') Beer, the two of them cackling like Beavis and Butthead as they scan the audience of hapless wannabe winners for victims. And then Allison's off, leaving his voice recorder on the table behind him so that it can pick up any snippets of gossip about him while he's absent. He's ducking and diving in the crowd, picking up quotes and snippets of snark, digging for dirt like a pig rooting out Perigord truffles, while the MC says 'ya ya ya' for the umpteenth time. I think she believes it makes her sound Arab, but it comes across as somehow more Maureen Lipman.

It's all too much. I clap maniacally for Peyman Parham as he picks up the final gong, 'Communicator of the Year', with a genuine feeling of enormous relief - Sarah would have spent the next 365 days referring to me as 'Gob of the Year' and thanks to Peyman I have bilked that dire fate. Now we could go drinking, but instead we spend hours wandering around the labrynthine Habtoor Grand Hotel in search of a bar that would accept men dressed in kandouras. What a joke - teetotal hosts that aren't allowed to join their friends in a bar. Eventually, exhausted by wandering aimlessley down the charmless marble corridors, we find a smoky joint that's a ten second walk from the place we were thrown out of. It turns out that the toilets are actually over in the forbidden bar.

Which is, I'm sure a metaphor for something.

As we celebrate Peyman's win, I'm filled with a strange sense of unease. And then I realise it's because the press aren't with us. That's a bad thing - it means they're holed up in some dark, foreboding garret 'writing up' the evening.

I fear the worst...

Scorn

It’s perhaps interesting many of the marketers who are taking social media seriously are seeing a campaign platform rather than a fundamental change in the way the business communicates and, indeed, behaves. That’s fair enough, it’s a wise person who dips a toe in the water before going for the full-on dive bomb and it doesn’t take the wildest imagination to see what’s going to happen to Young Roger as he faces the directors in the mahogany-panelled boardroom and suggests they might like to gamble the future of the company on Twitter.

But a campaign-led approach to social media really does need to be framed in the context of a wider move to adopt social platforms to transform the company’s communications, it can’t just be a tactic.

That does mean writing a new rulebook and challenging some very entrenched attitudes and procedures – it’s an early adopters game, too, requiring a willingness to take a transformational approach to aspects of the business. It can be a two-track process of gradual change, there’s no need to try and change the world overnight, but it does have to involve an element of change. Declaring that you’re cool and down with the kids then running a Twitter competition to win a super prize is not what social media’s about – and neither is tacking a Facebook page onto the tail end of that expensive regional TV and outdoor campaign.

Agencies and clients alike have to be careful of 2.0wash – the temptation to stick a blog, Facebook fan page and Twitter ID on every pitch PPT. Although that might sell to the credulous, it’s not doing the client any favours in the long run, just creating a range of disparate, off-message and wild communications with no follow-through. You wouldn’t recommend that kind of behaviour with a ‘conventional’ campaign, so why do so with social media?

Without a planned, consistent communications strategy behind it, a social media campaign as a tactic is in very real danger of making the client look flaky. And social media, incidentally, has evolved a very special way of treating such campaigns – public scorn.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine, which doesn't have a website so I have to post 'em on my own blog. Ironic, I know.

Mrs Google and her Five Lovely Daughters

Image via CrunchBase

Have you ever Googled yourself? Feel free to go ahead and try it. There's no shame. Everyone does it, they just don't tend to boast about it in public much.

Are you the first search result? If not, someone else owns you. Now if you’re called Amy Winehouse or Barack Obama, the chances of you doing something about it are pretty slim, but all is not lost: bear in mind most people will refine a search for a common name - with a location or profession, for instance.

Search is a funny and arcane little game, but broadly search engines prioritise sites by their popularity using a mixture of relevance, links to the site and traffic. Blogs get treated incredibly well by search engines, as does Wikipedia. If you’re mentioned on a major website or a blog, it’s likely that this mention will pop up first – the minor vertical industry website about melamine production in Kamchatka likely won’t rise to the top of the pile.

If you’re not on the first page of search results, a lot of people won’t bother going on to wherever you are to be found down the pecking order.

Why does it matter? Increasingly, you want people to find you online – because increasingly, people look for people online. A recent ‘straw poll’ we conducted over Twitter saw over 85% of respondents saying that they researched new business contacts online before meeting them. So the person you’re shaking hands with for the first time likely already has a view and opinion of you – and he/she found just what you found when you searched yourself.

Can you do something about it? Sure. Get online and join up for professional networking sites like LinkedIn. Think about how people would find you and use those phrases wherever you are interacting online or writing content for online media (‘John Smith Dubai Creative’). Give your Facebook profile a spring clean and spend a little time trying out some social media interactions.

You never know, taking a look at that search result and putting yourself in the shoes of a recruiter, potential employer, new business prospect or supplier may just be what it takes for you to start working on your online profile and investing a little time in a Google Makeover!

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine. I have to put it here ‘cos they haven’t got a website yet and don’t post it to their own damn blog.

Mr Futurist

Image via Wikipedia

The way we talk to technology and the way we talk to each other is changing at a pace that I can only describe as frightening.

You understand, the ‘f’ word is coming from a life-long technocrat.

Right now, we type on mobile keypads to retrieve or dial a number. We sit, fingers crashing down on nasty, analogue keys or dragging mice around in order to instruct our machines to do stuff or to send text to each other. But innovations afoot today are going to change the entire nature of our relationship with enabling technologies.

The keyboard will be a thing of the past in a few years’ time – we’ll use voice and hand movements to manipulate systems and objects on screens, walls or other surfaces. We’ll be able to take our ‘stuff’ and deposit it wherever we want – on walls, products, bulletin boards or public places (‘digital graffiti’ will become a problem) or add stuff from those places to our stuff if we want. We’ll be able to interface to systems and query them about products in supermarkets or people, to send messages or update friends or special interest groups which we belong to with new information. We’ll get used to a world where everyone, potentially, knows everything – and where consumers can access peer reviews, scientific information, manufacturer claims and third party viewpoints at any time.

We’re going to share video and voice more than text – we’re going to become digitally tactile and our world is going to be based on streams of information served up to us through ‘real-world’ interfaces to information networks. We’ll likely access all of that through one ‘network device’ which will be camera, credit card, database access tool, megaphone and information system all in one.

It’ll be smaller than today’s mobile phones.

The totally empowered consumer will be a result – a process that is also evident in the way today’s markets are changing. The game is about putting the right information in people’s hands when they want it – reliable, believable, credible information. Even today, as we look at this brave new future world, consumers are increasingly information-centric.

And they’re already buying the steak, not the sizzle.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine. I have to put it here ‘cos they haven’t got a website yet and don’t post these on their own damn blog.

Radio Gaga

Image by luc legay via Flickr

Radio is probably the most undervalued advertising/communication medium of the lot: something of a shame, it's one of my favourite 'legacy' media...

I had always thought of this as a Middle East problem, but apparently it’s the case worldwide. People just won't invest appropriately in creating compelling executions for radio.

I’ve also always believed that crappy radio advertising stemmed from the relative affordability of the airtime on a slot by slot basis, that it was the consequent underinvestment that lies behind the awful executions that we all know and loathe so well. Because, let's face it, Middle East radio advertising is mired in awfulness that is beyond simply bad - it's heroically bad.

However, the almost total lack of data on the reach and influence of radio is, I believe, a uniquely Middle East problem. It’s hard to actually define who’s listening to what, when. And that, of course, makes it difficult to justify investing in radio from a cost per listener point of view.

Taking the issue from the other end of the pipeline might help – what’s the value of radio if you look at results. For instance, if you promote an event in a public place, say a shopping mall, over radio do people actually pitch up? If you ask for a response, for instance a phone-in or an SMS, by radio, do people respond?

The answer is not only yes, but it can also be a resounding yes - depending on how well your message is put together and how it resonates with its audience. Radio can be a very targeted medium indeed – and one interesting piece of evidence for this is to be found in the growing relationship between radio and social media. Thousands of people are starting to follow Dubai DJ Catboy, for instance, on Facebook, YouTube and Twitter – and as that relationship matures and strengthens, new followers are being added hourly. And those followers are active participants – they respond to competitions, give opinions, take part in what has become, in a very real sense, the ‘conversation’ that every Web 2.0 proponent will gladly talk to you about until your ears bleed. (Incidentally, over 4,000 people are currently following Simon 'Catboy' Smedley on Twitter).

So I’d like to suggest perhaps a slightly different approach to radio – one that’s not based so much on ‘How many people are getting our message when we scream slogans and benefits at them’ but more on ‘What stuff can radio help us to encourage people to do and participate with them in doing’ – the action in itself being a symptom of a deeper understanding of, and relationship with, your audience.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Kitchenomics

Social media punishes attempts at one-way communication precisely because it is social – an ongoing, online dialogue between people.

Put yourself in the kitchen at a party – everyone in there is chatting away and then you jump in shouting your head off about how wonderful you are. End result? If you escape being punched, you’re lucky. But people will be aggrieved at you for being so rude.

You’re generally welcome into the kitchen, but social behaviour dictates that you listen to the people around you, work out what’s being said and then make a contribution that will ensure you are accepted as a valid and welcomed member of the group. You can’t have a party yourself until you know enough people to invite, so there’s always an element of spending time in other people’s kitchens before you can be confident that you know enough people to invite over to your party.

If everyone in that kitchen knows who you are, for instance if it’s your kitchen, then you could well get away with crashing in – but you’ll fast get a reputation for being obnoxious and loud at parties and people may well start avoiding you. Even if you’re known, it’s safer to behave with respect and tact rather than going around shouting slogans at people.

If you insist it’s your kitchen and you have the right to lock everyone in and shout assertive brand-enhancing slogans at them, nobody will ever come to your party again. If you make playing party games conditional to being in the kitchen, people will avoid the kitchen and also your parties.

In fact, one of the most important things about good parties is that you give up your right to your kitchen entirely – strange people will stand around in it and have conversations that have nothing to do with you. And they will enjoy themselves and consequently be delighted when they're invited back.

The value to this is that, managed properly, you can also engage in that conversation and perhaps gently steer it around to a topic that’s more valuable to you – but it helps to have invited the right people to the party, and therefore into the kitchen, in the first place. And to treat them with respect and as peers.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Dubai and Negative Media

The recent spate of negative media coverage on Dubai has been an interesting phenomenon to watch on so many levels. Firstly, it has served to polarise opinion in the city itself and people have come together in a surprising and, as far as I can see from friends, colleagues and the like, strongly consensual reaction. The pro-Dubai lobby consists of cynical, snarky and critical journalists, bloggers and Middle Mirdif in general – people who last year queued up to whinge, moan, complain and generally put the boot in wherever possible. I might be accused of being in that company.

A second interesting result has been the way in which those new converts to the Cause That Is Dubai have reacted to the articles. They’ve been commenting on them. A few short years (months, even) ago, they’d only have had the opportunity of writing a strongly worded Letter to the Editor, which would quite likely have been ‘spiked’ by the ‘Reader’s Editor’ – in fact one particularly splenetic Dubai blog is subtitled ‘Because my letters to the editor never get published’*!

Nowadays newspapers have woken up to the Internet and have started to post articles up with a facility for reader comment and feedback. Two** of the worst anti-Dubai rants have run recently in The Guardian, the now infamous Germaine Greer ‘Bus ride’ piece and the more recent, and no less uninformed, Simon Jenkins ‘Ozymandias’ piece which combined ignorance and pretension in a quite charming way. And both have seen their ‘comments’ sections closed after a tide of angry riposte from people that knew a lot more about Dubai than the writers in question. The Guardian has even been forced (I can tell you, most ungracefully) to correct a couple of the more glaring howlers in the Greer piece.

This is important. The Guardian is now arguably little different to Wikipedia – the process of two-way communication and egalitarianism that the Internet is increasingly empowering is starting to change newspapers and the way we consume them - it’s become self-correcting. This doesn’t stop the print edition from carrying the rubbish uncorrected. But nobody’s reading that anymore anyway, are they?

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

* The Real Nick has changed the subtitle of his blog since this article was printed, just to mess me up.

** This was also printed pre-Johann Hari and pre the excellent Chris Saul's parody of Hari's piece, which I do commend to you most heartily.

Snarky

The ability to be cynical, negative and rude is one of the strongest assets of a good public relations practitioner.

If you have someone inside the tent who’s able to take a look at what you’re up to and see the downside, to ask the hard questions that media and the public will ask, then you’ve got an opportunity to factor that likely feedback into your plans. You then have the opportunity to change the plan, if that is what is required, or to prepare a well-thought out and clear response to the question that presents your point of view clearly and cogently. That includes looking at the searching, negative questions you’d rather not have to face, let alone answer.

We call the collection of those responses a ‘rude Q&A’: it's a document that summarises the worst things you can expect to have thrown at you, that asks the difficult or dangerous questions and that proposes a response to those questions. It means that your team is better prepared – they have had the chance to consider the factors involved and they all have access to a formal, unified response to the most challenging of questions.

A rude Q&A can make the difference between taking and managing the most probing query in your stride or standing around looking like a slightly surprised goldfish while you try and think up some off-the-cuff response to that bolt from the blue. It also avoids the awful situation where more than one spokesperson is in that situation and they both give completely different responses in their panic. Both responses may be perfectly valid, but it still ends up looking like the proverbial left and right hand disconnect.

Putting together a rude Q&A means being realistic about the other point of view, looking at the issue with fresh eyes and challenging it. It means having a downer on your good work, being cynical and snarky about your virtues and focusing on what’s bad about you. It means having the impertinence to ask the most inappropriate and searching questions of yourself. But it’s important that you do - before someone outside the tent does it.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Speed and the Barrier

How do you manage a ‘social media’ campaign? The breaking down of barriers that Internet communication has encouraged is probably faster and more fundamental than many communications managers realise. One major problem is the challenge of speed – you can no longer take a few days to respond to a media enquiry while your exec finishes travelling or deals with ‘more important’ business. In a social media environment, people expecting total access and answerability from your organisation are beating on the door right now. There’s no gatekeeper anymore, remember?

It’s also worth bearing in mind that social media is user-driven so you’re leading a conversation and, like all conversations, it will have ebbs and flows. You can’t expect relentless positivity but are aiming to have an overall dialogue that puts your position and proposition.

Another issue facing social media campaign managers is that of approvals. In the old paradigm, your agency made sure that every single communication was approved. It would never do, for instance, for the agency to be speaking in your place. And agencies, for their part, wanted to be indemnified from clients’ actions and liabilities. If you’re running a campaign that cuts across websites and interactive, ‘social’ media, someone needs to be posting, responding, commenting, Tweeting, filming and uploading content on your behalf. And that either means that you, as a campaign ‘manager’ need to be 100% engaged 24x7 in your campaign or you need to redefine the rules so that your agency has a wider scope of responsibility, empowerment and response-ability. That means you have to let your agency take more risks on your behalf, and therefore that your agency is sufficiently indemnified to take those risks. Dispensing with indemnity can be an expensive game for the hapless communicator.

Likewise, you need to be sure that you’re working with an agency that understands those risks, that gets where the pain points of social communication lie, but also that understands the issues of corporate governance in this changing environment as well as new expectations of corporate behaviour. It can be a complicated trade-off – ensuring that the company is answerable at every level and yet also responsive at every level, that it is transparent and yet decisive and that it communicates with its stakeholders appropriately, despite the immediacy and ubiquity of online ‘social’ access.

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Socialite

Here are some ‘social media’ predictions for 2009, just for fun. Why social media? Well, my first prediction is that we’re going to see a lot more fuss about ‘social media’ here in the Middle East in 2009. And the trick there will be sorting the wheat from the chaff – because you’re about to see a load of ‘experts’ talking with great authority on the subject. And, as usual, the expertise on offer will all too frequently be scant. I recently had an advertising agency offer to ‘infiltrate the forums’ on behalf of a client, for instance. That to me is a signal of quite how bad it’s going to get before we settle down and work out who are the practitioners delivering new and insightful programmes using the social media tools that are revolutionising communications practice elsewhere in the world.

So I think we’re probably going to see one or two high profile social media gaffes in our region, quite a lot of weighty pronouncements and agencies rushing to show how they can package their ‘unique insight’ into the social media paradigm for clients. This is what my very good friend Gianni Catalfamo, the uber-geek and European Web 2.0 guru, calls 2.0Wash. Like Greenwash that preceded it, 2.0Wash is when every programme contains a blog, just because, well, they should all contain a blog these days...

In the meantime, I think we’ll see an increasing pressure on regional telcos to stop blocking these social media networks – orkut, flikr and other important components of the ‘Web 2.0’ mix remain blocked. These blocks continue to contribute to retarding our region’s use of some of the most powerful communication tools to emerge since Thomas Caxton started thinking about Ps and Qs.

My final social media prediction for 2009 is that we’ll start to realise quite how powerful the grassroots movement towards using these tools can be. It’s already happened in other world markets and it’s late arriving here precisely because of the blocks. But more people in the Middle East are using FaceBook than read any single newspaper. More people in the UAE are using FaceBook than read any single newspaper. And FaceBook is only one of many, many social media platforms...

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

2009: Flat is the new up...

I have been hearing a few comments that 2009 will be a good time for public relations because companies will be looking to save money and PR is a better way to reach people for less than advertising.

I disagree strongly. For sure companies will be reducing budgets in 2009, although I believe there are enough people out there that understand slashing A&P to zero is not a smart reaction to a bear market. But this is a time of unparalleled opportunity, a time where brands will be made or broken. And the differentiator, IMHO, will be how cleverly companies communicate – how they explore new ideas and approaches, integrating social media and other innovative ways of reacting to customers and communicating with customers. The winners will be the companies that communicate more effectively with their customers and stakeholders throughout times of uncertainty.

You might think that a recession is a time to be conservative and play it safe. You know, do the things that you know work, perhaps just less of them. But 2009 is going to be an amazing time for those who are brave enough to try new approaches and bring innovation to play, to invest in building their brands while competitors are trying to just protect their brands using old tools and scant resources.

The need to bring a new intelligence into play means challenging existing strategies, tools and relationships. It’s going to mean re-examining the company and its communications needs, adapting processes and strategies to meet the demands of a fast-moving market and embracing fast changes in media and other channels to reach customers and the people that influence them.

This is a good time to bring in experienced communicators to work alongside your own teams, to start challenging the business from C-level down, reworking the way that the organisation talks to its audiences to drive more value into the company’s communications using smarter, technology-led direct communications and online communications tools in particular.

Advertising has its role to play, so does PR. But the opportunity is for smart communicators – whatever their discipline, client-side and agency-side. It's not just about 'this way is cheaper', because it really needs to be about 'this way is smarter'...

This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' colums in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Forgotten

I'd forgotten about my promise to make you all suffer from having to read my bi-weekly bibble in Campaign Middle East until pal CJ reminded me. So here y'all are:

Is the newspaper dead? And if not, when is it going to do the decent thing? The question is being posed with a frequency which reminds me of the assertion that we could look forward to a ‘paperless office’ back in the 1980s. It’s this year’s big prediction, but it’s also being accompanied by some amazing ‘nose dive’ statistics about falls in circulation, advertising revenue and even job cuts, with the UK’s The Independent slashing some 90 editorial jobs recently.

Now we’re mightily behind this particular curve here in the Middle East, without a doubt. I don’t think journalists will be looking over their shoulders quite yet. And the insane block on sites like Flikr remains, too, slowing adoption of the technologies that are supplanting newspapers in other markets. For instance, many people online followed the recent violence in Mumbai, mixing ‘traditional’ media sources online with extensive on the spot photojournalism from Joe Public in Mumbai (on Flikr, so you couldn’t see it in the UAE) with a wave of Twitter tweets, blogs and Facebook conversations. Wikipedia’s entry on the violence was up, being debated and updated, as the incident was ongoing. There was little to be known that wasn’t known on the spot – the next day’s newspaper has a hard job staying relevant in a multimedia news environment like that.

Even Rupert Murdoch has said the future of newspapers isn’t ‘printing on dead trees’ and, following the US’ ‘digital election’, the online presence of key media such as the UK’s Guardian and the US’ Christian Science Monitor is growing faster than their paper presence is declining.
Having said that we’re behind the curve, there are some interesting online plays in the region. From AME Info through Zawya, Bawaba and Maktoob through to ITP’s arabianbusiness.com, the region’s websites are a growing presence in people’s reading habits. Newspapers are jostling with websites to get the story ‘up’ first: websites that have far bigger regional reach and immediacy than any newspaper could possibly hope to compete with.

Does that mean that we should all ignore newspapers? No! Of course not!

Not yet, anyway...

The Penultimate Campaigner

A somewhat diffident young Englishman called Richard Abbott is leaving the UAE. There are a number of reasons why this is significant news, not least of which is that Richard was the editor of the region’s most famous and celebrated non-magazine, Campaign Middle East.

He is also the natural winner of the UAE leg of the William Dalrymple Lookalike Contest, but that's something else entirely.

This move does not bode well for any future that the cheeky little Haymarket licensed magazine had. Richard and team, having transferred from ITP with the title, had kept the faith for months, waiting for Motivate to gain a license to publish the magazine acquired from ITP in such mysterious circumstances. Nothing has happened since and now Richard’s leaving, it looks increasingly certain that nothing, indeed, is going to happen.

I’ll miss Campaign ME, and not just because I used to write a column in it every week (and was scheduled, to the surprise of some apparently, to write one under Motivate's aegis as well). I’ll miss it because it was an intelligent and occasionally even incisive weekly magazine about the industry in which I work and because it provided a good counterpoint and foil to the excellent Communicate.

Drinks with Richard tonight will be invariably tinged with sadness. But drinks is drinks…

PS: Iain Akerman is still at Motivate and therefore is truly the Last of the Mohicans...