Some of you will know Dan Holloway, responsible for one of my favourite books on authonomy, Songs From The Other Side Of The Wall.
Dan's something of an intellect and given to visions of revolution. A talented, intellectual revolutionary is something of a rarity these days, I think you'd probably agree. Like many of us, confronted with the banal realities of modern publishing, Dan's been exploring alternatives and some of them may well start to define what we have been discussing (particularly over here at Lauri Shaw's blog) - the future of publishing.
Where Dan's particularly interesting is how he's experimenting with mulitiple media platforms - the book as a multi-threaded, collaborative experience rather than as a static, engraved achievement.
While Lauri has been making her most excellent book, Servicing The Pole, available for download a chapter at a time. Dan's gone further in that he is not only giving away his newest book, The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes, away on Facebook a chapter at a time, but is also allowing readers to contribute to the development of the plot. The novel itself dissects the real and unreal stories behind the creation of an iconic image.
So let's do some Dan-speak:
So, why? Literary anarchy or marketing gimmick?
In all honesty both. I have just finished editing my previous book, Songs from the Other Side of the Wall, which I expect to self-publish this summer. I spent a lot of time talking to people about how to market it, and the whole loss leader thing came up. On the other hand, the potential of the internet for bending fiction out of shape fascinates me. The web’s full of people trying to publish their novels in a new medium. There’s not many people trying to do something new. I’ve always loved the interplay between artist and audience you get in installation art – Sam Taylor Wood going to sleep in a glass box; Gilbert and George – well, being Gilbert and George. For me culture of any form is a process, it’s an interplay. The novel’s lost that. The internet gives us a chance to get it back – that immediacy and connection.
Have you found the process different from writing your previous books?
I’ve had two real revelations. The first is the way the novel itself relates to the virtual world I’ve built around it. Part of the site is devoted to news reports, snippets of biography, little teasers – these form a world in which the novel takes place. What that means is there’s a whole load of back story I just don’t need to put into the novel – it’s much leaner because so much is already known – or can be referenced elsewhere in the site. I can get on with the story – it’s funny. I’ve talked a lot in the past about how I hate the western novel’s slavery to story. I thought this would break that barrier. It’s actually ended up taking story to its tight logical conclusion. The second point is the way the two parts of the novel relate. There’s a lot of social commentary, political satire, stuff about art and celebrity. But there’s also a personal story – a man whose daughter went missing ten years ago. He’s on a journey both to find the real story behind this iconic image of a dead woman but to find his missing daughter, and to understand why some people are remembered forever while others are forgotten. Because the rest of the site has set the political tone, I don’t have to balance the two parts as I write – I can spend the early chapters drawing us right into the personal story that will keep the reader with me – and I don’t have to worry readers will think I’ve lost sight of the other angle.
So how far does the interactivity go?
Well there’s commentary – like you get on a DVD, podcasts, real time editing so people can see me changing my mind. Then there’s events – this is about an image – so I’m holding a contest to design the image – people can enter online or by flashmob – hand me their entry at the café in Waterstone’s Piccadilly 11am on April 21st.
It seems like you’ve approached this in a very calculated way. Is your heart really in the book itself?
At first I told myself it was but I may have been kidding myself. This started as an experiment. But because I’ve gone straight to the emotional heart, it’s actually become the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It feels like I’m baring my soul every day. I just love some of the characters. And they all go to some very dark places. And all of it without a break, with the constant pressure of a deadline, and only an hour a day actually to write in. It feels like I’m putting myself through a very public wringer.
Isn’t the whole thing a bit, well, mad?
Well, I don’t believe in clinical. I don’t get people who bury themselves in their study and won’t show anyone what they’ve done. If your art isn’t a two way thing it’s not art. It might be therapy, but it’s not art. Art makes you vulnerable, puts you on the line. It’s raw. Or it’s dead. Er... Like a shark in formaldehyde :)
So how do we keep up with the project?
You can go to the group The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes on Facebook. I’m also Twittering all my updates there – you can follow the agnieszkasshoes Twitter. And if you get lost just steer from my website.
What next?
A break? In a month or so one of my writing groups, The Bookshed, is bringing out an anthology, Short Fuses – an incredible collection of cutting edge shorts. This autumn sees the release of the first set of books from Year Zero Publishing, a hugely exciting, edgy collective of writers I’m part of – and which you, Mr McNabb, are also playing with.
I’m expecting Songs from the Other Side of the wall to be one of the first Year Zero issues. Next year’s book will either be a body-swap I’ve been working on (a Chinese girl who’s an only child and a Polish boy who’s an identical twin), or a book I’ve always wanted to right about an affair between a 50 year old woman and her 18 year-old student. Either way I’ll always keep up the book a year. If you can’t wait for any of that, you can read one of my shorts, Coastlines, about a Spanish civil servant’s affair with a Chinese businesswoman, in the anthology “Great Short Stories from Youwriteon.com Writers”, which is available from Amazon.
Showing posts sorted by date for query authonomy. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query authonomy. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Monday 9 March 2009
Sunday 1 March 2009
The Gulf You Put Between Us
"We rallied round a flag that wasn't there,' Margaret Atwood is quoted as saying by today's glorious technicolour Gulf News*.
She has my absolute respect for the way she has handled the situation regarding the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature book ban issue with total integrity - and with self-effacing charm. The fact that she was misled so effectively in the first place and reacted in the way she did is unfortunate, if understandable.
The fuss over Geraldine Bedell's book, created in a large part one suspects by a certain Geraldine Bedell, does rather smell like a slightly inept but certainly cynical publicity stunt. But now it's over. The book wasn't banned; the book likely isn't really that interesting anyway.
Those of you who followed my posts on Harper Collins' authonomy will be aware of my views on big publishers and cynical behaviour. I do allow it to be a possibility that large corporate publishing companies will dissemble shockingly.
But what I do believe to be a shame is that Dubai has learned a lesson. While people have been preaching about censorship, Dubai has learned a new form of censorship. It's more insidious than banning books - it's banning the freedom to speak your mind.
I do believe (sorry, Isobel) that Festival Director Isobel Aboulhoul's letter declining Bedell's book be launched at the festival was naive. But she was direct and did give her honest views. Now we've learned not be direct or give our honest views. We can use weasel words so that we're being 'politically correct' rather than open ourselves to criticism in future. In fact, Atwood herself said in the Guardian:
"This happens every day at every festival in the world. Publishers always want to launch or feature their authors, and all festivals pick and choose. Usually, however - being experienced - they don't give the real reasons for their rejections. They don't say "It's a stinker" or "The local Christians will barbecue us". They say: "Not suitable for our purposes." They know that if they tell the truth, they'll be up to their noses in the merde.
So much more important than censorship in a 'culture of fear', this new way of not saying what you believe because of the repercussions...
*I've got bored with weighing Gulf News which is now pretty steady at around 640g. Would you believe that silly habit made it to the front page of The Financial Times? Sheesh!
She has my absolute respect for the way she has handled the situation regarding the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature book ban issue with total integrity - and with self-effacing charm. The fact that she was misled so effectively in the first place and reacted in the way she did is unfortunate, if understandable.
The fuss over Geraldine Bedell's book, created in a large part one suspects by a certain Geraldine Bedell, does rather smell like a slightly inept but certainly cynical publicity stunt. But now it's over. The book wasn't banned; the book likely isn't really that interesting anyway.
Those of you who followed my posts on Harper Collins' authonomy will be aware of my views on big publishers and cynical behaviour. I do allow it to be a possibility that large corporate publishing companies will dissemble shockingly.
But what I do believe to be a shame is that Dubai has learned a lesson. While people have been preaching about censorship, Dubai has learned a new form of censorship. It's more insidious than banning books - it's banning the freedom to speak your mind.
I do believe (sorry, Isobel) that Festival Director Isobel Aboulhoul's letter declining Bedell's book be launched at the festival was naive. But she was direct and did give her honest views. Now we've learned not be direct or give our honest views. We can use weasel words so that we're being 'politically correct' rather than open ourselves to criticism in future. In fact, Atwood herself said in the Guardian:
"This happens every day at every festival in the world. Publishers always want to launch or feature their authors, and all festivals pick and choose. Usually, however - being experienced - they don't give the real reasons for their rejections. They don't say "It's a stinker" or "The local Christians will barbecue us". They say: "Not suitable for our purposes." They know that if they tell the truth, they'll be up to their noses in the merde.
First-time festivalite Abulhoul had not yet been hardened in the fire. She was candid. She sent her actual reactions in an email: publisher asked, publisher didn't get, here's why. She thought the exchange was frank and also confidential. She thought all parties were acting in good faith. Silly her. "
So much more important than censorship in a 'culture of fear', this new way of not saying what you believe because of the repercussions...
*I've got bored with weighing Gulf News which is now pretty steady at around 640g. Would you believe that silly habit made it to the front page of The Financial Times? Sheesh!
Send to Kindle
Monday 2 February 2009
Harsh
As another round of writers pass the authonomy 'top five' test, one of the books that passed out last month received an unusually harsh spanking from Harper Collins' editor.
Remember one of my points was 'respect'? That I was annoyed at HC's 'one way' communication and its faceless editors? Well, imagine how you'd feel having put your work in front of 4,000 people so that an anonymous jerk with the backing of a major corporation could write:
"...stands out from the crowd of Authonomy proposals; not necessarily through its content or writing, however, but through the high status its author is held in within the Authonomy community."
So it only got there through the writer's popularity? That starts the girl off well, doesn't it? And then we go on:
"I don’t honestly believe that Seeing Red is a great work of science fiction."
At least that's honest, if a tad brutal. But then you can't really get into the writing thing unless you're up for a bit of brutality. I mean, all editors are brutes, no?
"Seeing Red’s take on science fiction is naïve and simplistic..."
Oh hang on. Aren't we being a bit, well, unnecessary here?
"The world of SF...has moved far on from cheesy concepts expressed in this book"
Note the missing definite article. The editor can't spell 'found', either.
"...the settings are straight from central casting."
Our hero goes on to have a right old go. Get this - and do imagine this was your hard work, voted to the top by something like 500 people on the site who have said, essentially, that they would buy it if it were on sale:
"Of course, there is nothing wrong at all with referencing the styles of older pulp novels – they may be the equivalent of B-movies but at their best can have a tremendous joi de vivre and embrace some truly mind-boggling concepts. But I do not believe that the intention here was to deliberately pastiche that sort of science fiction to make a particular point or create a specific effect."
And this from a patronising, condescending goon that can't even spell 'Joie de vivre'!
But the real kick in the head comes last. Remember, this is supposedly from an editor at one of the world's largest and most powerful publishing houses, so carries unusual weight:
"I cannot see any science fiction imprint picking this one up for publication."
This is Patty's reaction to it. I don't think she's gone far enough, but there you go: Patty’s blog…
Remember one of my points was 'respect'? That I was annoyed at HC's 'one way' communication and its faceless editors? Well, imagine how you'd feel having put your work in front of 4,000 people so that an anonymous jerk with the backing of a major corporation could write:
"...stands out from the crowd of Authonomy proposals; not necessarily through its content or writing, however, but through the high status its author is held in within the Authonomy community."
So it only got there through the writer's popularity? That starts the girl off well, doesn't it? And then we go on:
"I don’t honestly believe that Seeing Red is a great work of science fiction."
At least that's honest, if a tad brutal. But then you can't really get into the writing thing unless you're up for a bit of brutality. I mean, all editors are brutes, no?
"Seeing Red’s take on science fiction is naïve and simplistic..."
Oh hang on. Aren't we being a bit, well, unnecessary here?
"The world of SF...has moved far on from cheesy concepts expressed in this book"
Note the missing definite article. The editor can't spell 'found', either.
"...the settings are straight from central casting."
Our hero goes on to have a right old go. Get this - and do imagine this was your hard work, voted to the top by something like 500 people on the site who have said, essentially, that they would buy it if it were on sale:
"Of course, there is nothing wrong at all with referencing the styles of older pulp novels – they may be the equivalent of B-movies but at their best can have a tremendous joi de vivre and embrace some truly mind-boggling concepts. But I do not believe that the intention here was to deliberately pastiche that sort of science fiction to make a particular point or create a specific effect."
And this from a patronising, condescending goon that can't even spell 'Joie de vivre'!
But the real kick in the head comes last. Remember, this is supposedly from an editor at one of the world's largest and most powerful publishing houses, so carries unusual weight:
"I cannot see any science fiction imprint picking this one up for publication."
This is Patty's reaction to it. I don't think she's gone far enough, but there you go: Patty’s blog…
Send to Kindle
Thursday 29 January 2009
Bookworm
If any of you have been at all interested in any way whatsoever about the stuff I've been posting regarding Harper Collins' authonomy, then you might be interested in this guest post on Eoin Purcell's blog.
Everyone else can just carry on as normal. There's nothing for you to see here. Move along, now. Move along.
Everyone else can just carry on as normal. There's nothing for you to see here. Move along, now. Move along.
Send to Kindle
Thursday 15 January 2009
Not what it says on the box
Some may remember the mad, frenetic dash to get my first book, Space, to the top of the pile over at Harper Collins' authonomy peer-review writers' website.
The rationale behind authonomy seemed simple enough. Using language like 'Publishing contract, anyone?' (that language has since changed, incidentally, to 'Get Read. Get Noticed. Get Published'), authonomy allowed writers to post up some, or all, of their books and then solicit votes from other users of the site. The more votes you get, the nearer to the top of the pile you get. And if you are a 'top five' book at the end of the month, your book is forwarded for review to a Harper Collins editor.
Now Harper Collins is a huge publisher that doesn't even look at unsolicited, unagented manuscripts. And most unpublished writers would chop off their left legs to get their work in front of an editor (it's a date!) at a publishing house as powerful as HC. The expectation is that if your book's any good at all, you'd get asked for a 'full read' (heavy petting) or even get through to negotiating a contract (you're smoking a fag together by now).
But it turns out that HC was just teasing. I got to the top of the pile thanks to the support of a huge number of people, many of whom were genuinely impressed and amused by, and liked, my book. I enjoyed myself immensely doing it, by the way.
Like other people who've made it to 'the editor's desk', I put a huge amount of effort into it. And don't get me wrong - I've learnt a huge amount from the experience and made some really cool contacts and pals as a result. So for that, I can only thank HC for the site.
But the HC review of my book (next to the gold star on the book page) was slapdash and odd. And many other writers who'd got to the top of the 'greasy pole', as some called it, got the same feeling. Now, over 25 chart-topping reviews, five months, into the exercise, HC has not asked for ONE full read from a writer whose book reached the top, let alone taken anything further to any degree.
Yesterday, HC sent me a note offering me the chance to put my books up as POD (Print on Demand or Publish on Demand) books on authonomy. Soon, according to the email, all books on authonomy will be available as POD books but for now only 'a few early adopters' have been offered the opportunity - and a 'gift' of the first 10 books free.
Working with blurb.com, authonomy will add a button to each book's page, which currently allows you to read the book, watchlist the book or back the book. They'll add 'buy the book'.
Which potentially means that the whole exercise was purely about populating a new POD site with a community of unpublished authors who can now upload their books to sell them, at an unusually expensive cost to the author per book (limiting the profitability for the writer), to people who come clicking to the site.
This was arguably never about publishing contracts or talent spotting. It was never about 'Beating the Slushpile', as authonomy claims in its graphics and claimed in its original 'blurb'. It was about creating a POD site so that Harper Collins could hedge its bets against the 'new revolution' of Internet based publishing and digital publishing.
Worse, the exercise exposes some interesting values from HC and its approach to social websites. At no stage did it share its roadmap with the writers populating the site. At no stage did it seek our input, advice or approval. It just rolled out what it was giving us and we were expected to be pathetically grateful to receive it. All the way to the offer to become a POD book and sign away our rights in return for being part of a huge publisher's experiment.
Many of the writers I know on authonomy are disappointed, upset and angry at the move. It's not why we went there (there are established and, from a profit sharing point of view, better POD sites out there) in the first place. And people feel that while it's maybe not been directly dishonest, HC has hardly been transparent about its intentions for the site and the writers (some 3,500 and more) who have put their work on it.
And HC certainly hasn't been inclusive at any level - in fact, it communicates with the people on the site either through a sysadmin's alias ('Rik') or the alias 'authonomy'. We've never seen people - even the editors who review the books are anonymous. I'm sure HC thinks its being terribly funky and Web 2.0, but it's not. It's missed the first rule of these types of engagements with a community. Foster a community, be part of a community, engage with the community.
HC hasn't, because it doesn't respect that community enough. Lets face it, we're just wannabe's on the slushpile anyway. But I rather feel that it might just find that community pushing back a little now. Many people have had enough of being treated like the carvers in front of Gormenghast - even more so when it's become clear that the Groans don't want any of our carvings.
Someone on the site asked recently, 'Is authonomy a con?'. I'm afraid my answer is 'yes', I feel it rather has been.
PS: HC asked that I keep their offer to myself for the moment. I don't feel able to respect that request.
PPS: Authonomy-topping author Dan Holloway's manifesto for changing publishing is here. It's got some good thinks in it...
The rationale behind authonomy seemed simple enough. Using language like 'Publishing contract, anyone?' (that language has since changed, incidentally, to 'Get Read. Get Noticed. Get Published'), authonomy allowed writers to post up some, or all, of their books and then solicit votes from other users of the site. The more votes you get, the nearer to the top of the pile you get. And if you are a 'top five' book at the end of the month, your book is forwarded for review to a Harper Collins editor.
Now Harper Collins is a huge publisher that doesn't even look at unsolicited, unagented manuscripts. And most unpublished writers would chop off their left legs to get their work in front of an editor (it's a date!) at a publishing house as powerful as HC. The expectation is that if your book's any good at all, you'd get asked for a 'full read' (heavy petting) or even get through to negotiating a contract (you're smoking a fag together by now).
But it turns out that HC was just teasing. I got to the top of the pile thanks to the support of a huge number of people, many of whom were genuinely impressed and amused by, and liked, my book. I enjoyed myself immensely doing it, by the way.
Like other people who've made it to 'the editor's desk', I put a huge amount of effort into it. And don't get me wrong - I've learnt a huge amount from the experience and made some really cool contacts and pals as a result. So for that, I can only thank HC for the site.
But the HC review of my book (next to the gold star on the book page) was slapdash and odd. And many other writers who'd got to the top of the 'greasy pole', as some called it, got the same feeling. Now, over 25 chart-topping reviews, five months, into the exercise, HC has not asked for ONE full read from a writer whose book reached the top, let alone taken anything further to any degree.
Yesterday, HC sent me a note offering me the chance to put my books up as POD (Print on Demand or Publish on Demand) books on authonomy. Soon, according to the email, all books on authonomy will be available as POD books but for now only 'a few early adopters' have been offered the opportunity - and a 'gift' of the first 10 books free.
Working with blurb.com, authonomy will add a button to each book's page, which currently allows you to read the book, watchlist the book or back the book. They'll add 'buy the book'.
Which potentially means that the whole exercise was purely about populating a new POD site with a community of unpublished authors who can now upload their books to sell them, at an unusually expensive cost to the author per book (limiting the profitability for the writer), to people who come clicking to the site.
This was arguably never about publishing contracts or talent spotting. It was never about 'Beating the Slushpile', as authonomy claims in its graphics and claimed in its original 'blurb'. It was about creating a POD site so that Harper Collins could hedge its bets against the 'new revolution' of Internet based publishing and digital publishing.
Worse, the exercise exposes some interesting values from HC and its approach to social websites. At no stage did it share its roadmap with the writers populating the site. At no stage did it seek our input, advice or approval. It just rolled out what it was giving us and we were expected to be pathetically grateful to receive it. All the way to the offer to become a POD book and sign away our rights in return for being part of a huge publisher's experiment.
Many of the writers I know on authonomy are disappointed, upset and angry at the move. It's not why we went there (there are established and, from a profit sharing point of view, better POD sites out there) in the first place. And people feel that while it's maybe not been directly dishonest, HC has hardly been transparent about its intentions for the site and the writers (some 3,500 and more) who have put their work on it.
And HC certainly hasn't been inclusive at any level - in fact, it communicates with the people on the site either through a sysadmin's alias ('Rik') or the alias 'authonomy'. We've never seen people - even the editors who review the books are anonymous. I'm sure HC thinks its being terribly funky and Web 2.0, but it's not. It's missed the first rule of these types of engagements with a community. Foster a community, be part of a community, engage with the community.
HC hasn't, because it doesn't respect that community enough. Lets face it, we're just wannabe's on the slushpile anyway. But I rather feel that it might just find that community pushing back a little now. Many people have had enough of being treated like the carvers in front of Gormenghast - even more so when it's become clear that the Groans don't want any of our carvings.
Someone on the site asked recently, 'Is authonomy a con?'. I'm afraid my answer is 'yes', I feel it rather has been.
PS: HC asked that I keep their offer to myself for the moment. I don't feel able to respect that request.
PPS: Authonomy-topping author Dan Holloway's manifesto for changing publishing is here. It's got some good thinks in it...
Send to Kindle
Wednesday 26 November 2008
Critical
Well, this is a turn up for the books - I've been criticised!!!
Was just on the way out of the door last night to have a few jars with a pal when up popped an email from Harper Collins' authonomy, the would-be author's peer-review Web 2.0 gadget thingy, saying that my 'crit' from an HC editor was ready.
For those who were interested, kind, supportive, curious and generally wonderful about the whole authonomy thing, my heartfelt thanks to you all.
For those who would like to see what HC said, it's here. They didn't take any of the books that came top 5 this month as, indeed, they haven't taken any book that's topped out on authonomy so far. Having said that, the journey has taught me much and I'm deeply glad I did it.
Normal service will now be resumed.
Was just on the way out of the door last night to have a few jars with a pal when up popped an email from Harper Collins' authonomy, the would-be author's peer-review Web 2.0 gadget thingy, saying that my 'crit' from an HC editor was ready.
For those who were interested, kind, supportive, curious and generally wonderful about the whole authonomy thing, my heartfelt thanks to you all.
For those who would like to see what HC said, it's here. They didn't take any of the books that came top 5 this month as, indeed, they haven't taken any book that's topped out on authonomy so far. Having said that, the journey has taught me much and I'm deeply glad I did it.
Normal service will now be resumed.
Send to Kindle
Thursday 20 November 2008
authonoblog
OK.
I said I'd done posting about authonomy, the Harper Collins social networking slushpile writer's group peer-review website thingy. And I lied.
In about 10 days I'll get my very own crit from an HC editor, which will be nice. Not really expecting 'We love you, here's a contract' so much as 'Nice, tidy it up'. We'll see.
Meanwhile, this is the last 10 days of the current month at authonomy, and a number of smart, talented people are now hoping for their own 'top out' moment on the editor's desk. I'd like to recommend you pop over and take a read of these books then add them to your bookshelf so that they get the backing.
There's a lot of debate about this, but one of the things I find so neat about authonomy is the possibility of a new egalitarianism in literature: we're getting to choose the kinds of book we'd like to read from a sample of raw work. There are over 3500 books on authonomy and getting to the top of the pile is some achievement.
Some of you guys were kind enough to help me do it: take a look at these little marvels and see if you agree with me that they should be in bookshops!!!
The Voices of Angels is young adult fiction from Spain-based expat Hannah Davis. It's a magical wee book, about a girl called Lizzie who can see people 'marked' with their own imminent deaths. Her parents send her to stay with her grandmother in Andalucia where she discovers that the veil dividing this world and another, more infinite existence, is so thin that she can walk through into infinity.
Songs from the Other Side of the Wall is an amazing piece of literary fiction, a book whose author is able to paint with language, creating masterpieces of precise word-pictures, colours and wordscapes that have you reading for the sheer joy of consuming Dan Holloway's writing. It's the story of a girl whose lover is killed and who reconnects with her estranged parents, finding love and redemption as she rebuilds her life.
Carry Me Away by American journalist and editor Robb Grindstaff is the story of Carry, a 'GenX biracial military brat' who lives her life in the belief that she is going to die at 20. It's a remarkable portrayal of a young woman, brilliantly executed and deftly paced. It's a very 'American' book in its tone, dialogue and language. And it's eye-poppingly good.
Punchline by Paul Fenton will make you laugh. If it doesn't, you're dead.
Diary of a Small Fish is another very American book. Author Peter Morin has built a tense political thriller, with whip-crack dialogue and a nice cynicism that combines with, somewhere, just a little bit of heart. It's a damn good read, a sort of curl up by the fire with a glass of red sort of read.
Last, but not least, I have to mention Tybalt and Theo. Much beloved Dubai (and now Spanish) blogger Keith Williamson gives his own little spin to the financial crisis by building in a splendid time-shift and throwing in porridge-bowls of silliness. It's rushing the authonomy charts and currently sits at 25.
Did I say 'beloved'? Sorry meant malign hunchback misanthrope. Key got stuck or something...
I said I'd done posting about authonomy, the Harper Collins social networking slushpile writer's group peer-review website thingy. And I lied.
In about 10 days I'll get my very own crit from an HC editor, which will be nice. Not really expecting 'We love you, here's a contract' so much as 'Nice, tidy it up'. We'll see.
Meanwhile, this is the last 10 days of the current month at authonomy, and a number of smart, talented people are now hoping for their own 'top out' moment on the editor's desk. I'd like to recommend you pop over and take a read of these books then add them to your bookshelf so that they get the backing.
There's a lot of debate about this, but one of the things I find so neat about authonomy is the possibility of a new egalitarianism in literature: we're getting to choose the kinds of book we'd like to read from a sample of raw work. There are over 3500 books on authonomy and getting to the top of the pile is some achievement.
Some of you guys were kind enough to help me do it: take a look at these little marvels and see if you agree with me that they should be in bookshops!!!
The Voices of Angels is young adult fiction from Spain-based expat Hannah Davis. It's a magical wee book, about a girl called Lizzie who can see people 'marked' with their own imminent deaths. Her parents send her to stay with her grandmother in Andalucia where she discovers that the veil dividing this world and another, more infinite existence, is so thin that she can walk through into infinity.
Songs from the Other Side of the Wall is an amazing piece of literary fiction, a book whose author is able to paint with language, creating masterpieces of precise word-pictures, colours and wordscapes that have you reading for the sheer joy of consuming Dan Holloway's writing. It's the story of a girl whose lover is killed and who reconnects with her estranged parents, finding love and redemption as she rebuilds her life.
Carry Me Away by American journalist and editor Robb Grindstaff is the story of Carry, a 'GenX biracial military brat' who lives her life in the belief that she is going to die at 20. It's a remarkable portrayal of a young woman, brilliantly executed and deftly paced. It's a very 'American' book in its tone, dialogue and language. And it's eye-poppingly good.
Punchline by Paul Fenton will make you laugh. If it doesn't, you're dead.
Diary of a Small Fish is another very American book. Author Peter Morin has built a tense political thriller, with whip-crack dialogue and a nice cynicism that combines with, somewhere, just a little bit of heart. It's a damn good read, a sort of curl up by the fire with a glass of red sort of read.
Last, but not least, I have to mention Tybalt and Theo. Much beloved Dubai (and now Spanish) blogger Keith Williamson gives his own little spin to the financial crisis by building in a splendid time-shift and throwing in porridge-bowls of silliness. It's rushing the authonomy charts and currently sits at 25.
Did I say 'beloved'? Sorry meant malign hunchback misanthrope. Key got stuck or something...
Send to Kindle
Saturday 1 November 2008
Thanks
A hearfelt and awed thanks to everyone who helped out on the great authonomy adventure. Last night at around 4.12am UAE time, I sat here and watched the screen change and Space get marked out as one of the five books selected to go to a Harper Collins editor.
I'm grinning like an idiot and I think you're all wonderful.
I'll be back to my normal snarky, irascible self by tomorrow: don't you worry.
Cheers, all!
I'm grinning like an idiot and I think you're all wonderful.
I'll be back to my normal snarky, irascible self by tomorrow: don't you worry.
Cheers, all!
Send to Kindle
Friday 31 October 2008
12
12 hours to go on authonomy before the top five are culled for spanking by a Harper Collins editor...
And if you haven't read Space yet, then please feel free to do so now, before it's too late!
You can read Space on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at midnight tonight. Believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius. Also try Peter Booth's Their Name is Legion or Lauri Shaw's wicked Servicing the Pole! And last, but by no means least, Peter Morin's Diary of a Small Fish or Simon Betterton's Doubts.
Yes, I lied. That last post wasn't the last post. But this post is - honest! :)
And if you haven't read Space yet, then please feel free to do so now, before it's too late!
You can read Space on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at midnight tonight. Believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius. Also try Peter Booth's Their Name is Legion or Lauri Shaw's wicked Servicing the Pole! And last, but by no means least, Peter Morin's Diary of a Small Fish or Simon Betterton's Doubts.
Yes, I lied. That last post wasn't the last post. But this post is - honest! :)
Send to Kindle
Wednesday 29 October 2008
Last
It's the last Post! Well, the last book post. Back to business as usual tomorrow, promise. Meanwhile, here's another shameless attempt to interest you in reading, and of course backing, that glibbest and most delightful of books, Space. Tuesday Belgravia, in the last interview she conducted during the writing of Space, talks to 'hero' Ben Johnson just before the end of the book.
Hi, Ben. Thanks for taking the time to see me. How’s it been going?
Well, as you know, I’ve been labelled Dr Death the Terrorist, my new girlfriend has died in my arms, I’ve been chased across Europe by two intelligence services and a gang of psychotic hoods, MI6 is trying to kill me, I’ve just made symbiotic love to a murderous American intelligence operative and been bombed by a stealth bomber. Apart from that, a regular day at work, I guess.
You’re just about to start writing the scene where you finally meet Kenneth Spamp, AKA Bruce Tyburn at a massive underground complex under Salisbury Plain. How are you feeling about that?
Well, I’ve obviously just discovered how much fun killing people really is, so I think at least a part of me is looking forward to putting a bullet in the bastard, but I guess we have to see how that bit goes, don’t we? At the end of the day, he’s been behind this whole mess and I owe him at least a life for Kylie’s.
You were quite fond of Kylie, weren’t you?
I was and I do think it’s a bit much of Alexander to have her coughing up her last life’s blood down my shirt. It’s no way to treat a popular character.
She was quite sexy, wasn’t she?
Yes, and a bit scatty too but I found her endearing – and of course her practicality saved my skin more than once.
Did you feel guilty that you had got jiggy with gun-happy American intelligence agent Neon when Kylie died in your arms?
Well, not really, because you have that whole symbiote thing going on, so I was seeing it through Neon’s eyes and emotional responses as well, so I really felt more like a detached disgust. Which is a shame, really.
Some people have said that you really don’t develop that much as a character. What do you have to say to that?
Well, I can’t really see that myself. I’m the central character in the book, as you know, and I do think that I am shaped by the events and circumstances around me; I’m characterised in terms of responses to situations. Let ‘em go to hell, actually. I’ll kill them.
You can’t just kill everyone, you know! You used to be a doctor!
Oh yeah, Mr. Goody Two Shoes. Stuff him, too. I enjoy killing so much more than I used to enjoy patching people up. It’s simpler and quicker, for a start.
Thank you, Dr. Ben Jonson.
Actually, you know what, bitch? Take that!
Ah! I can’t believe it! You shot me!
Ha! The end!
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius.
Hi, Ben. Thanks for taking the time to see me. How’s it been going?
Well, as you know, I’ve been labelled Dr Death the Terrorist, my new girlfriend has died in my arms, I’ve been chased across Europe by two intelligence services and a gang of psychotic hoods, MI6 is trying to kill me, I’ve just made symbiotic love to a murderous American intelligence operative and been bombed by a stealth bomber. Apart from that, a regular day at work, I guess.
You’re just about to start writing the scene where you finally meet Kenneth Spamp, AKA Bruce Tyburn at a massive underground complex under Salisbury Plain. How are you feeling about that?
Well, I’ve obviously just discovered how much fun killing people really is, so I think at least a part of me is looking forward to putting a bullet in the bastard, but I guess we have to see how that bit goes, don’t we? At the end of the day, he’s been behind this whole mess and I owe him at least a life for Kylie’s.
You were quite fond of Kylie, weren’t you?
I was and I do think it’s a bit much of Alexander to have her coughing up her last life’s blood down my shirt. It’s no way to treat a popular character.
She was quite sexy, wasn’t she?
Yes, and a bit scatty too but I found her endearing – and of course her practicality saved my skin more than once.
Did you feel guilty that you had got jiggy with gun-happy American intelligence agent Neon when Kylie died in your arms?
Well, not really, because you have that whole symbiote thing going on, so I was seeing it through Neon’s eyes and emotional responses as well, so I really felt more like a detached disgust. Which is a shame, really.
Some people have said that you really don’t develop that much as a character. What do you have to say to that?
Well, I can’t really see that myself. I’m the central character in the book, as you know, and I do think that I am shaped by the events and circumstances around me; I’m characterised in terms of responses to situations. Let ‘em go to hell, actually. I’ll kill them.
You can’t just kill everyone, you know! You used to be a doctor!
Oh yeah, Mr. Goody Two Shoes. Stuff him, too. I enjoy killing so much more than I used to enjoy patching people up. It’s simpler and quicker, for a start.
Thank you, Dr. Ben Jonson.
Actually, you know what, bitch? Take that!
Ah! I can’t believe it! You shot me!
Ha! The end!
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius.
Send to Kindle
Tuesday 28 October 2008
Booked
In the penultimate post in a series of slightly embarrassing 'teasers' intended to recruit readers and backers for that glibbest and most delightful of books, Space, Tuesday Belgravia talked to one of the more charming characters in the book, Lysander Cullinane, the head of a shadowy British government disinformation operation, The Space Agency. She caught up with the posh spook in his trailer on the set of the book, during a short break in writing his final scene...
So you’ve been quite a popular character in Space. Who’s your own favourite character?
Oh, it’s got to be Eva Bartholdy. Of course, she plays a great deal greater role in the book than it seems at first. She’s a charming lady, although she does have quirks. But then we all have quirks, don’t we?
Things haven’t been going terribly well for you, have they?
No, I have to confess they have been better, old thing. It’s odd to have to admit it, but I’m even a little sad that I ever got involved with young Dr. Ben Jonson, although this really isn’t all his fault. Things have unravelled a tad, though. For a start the Russian mafia have been bugging my office, then I’ve lost a good operative in Ian Beresford. Having young Neon seconded from the Americans went pretty wrong, too. She’s a little too, um, trigger-happy, isn’t she? But she does look absolutely marvellous in a black leather catsuit, one has to admit!
And then there’s the virus...
Yes, the virus. Well, we’ve always run campaigns here at The Space Agency that have worked well in terms of disguising what’s actually going on. We’ve had some great successes: stories that have diverted attention away from the real machinations and intent of those in government. It’s important to do that, sometimes. As you know, we invented the Loch Ness Monster, spontaneous combustion, UFOs, out of body experiences. All that paranormal claptrap originated from the teams of young creatives and the massive archives we have here. We’re running most of the Internet, these days. Authonomy was one of ours, you know. Web 2.0 thinking is so exciting, don’t you think? Put the writers where you can see ‘em, that’s what we say!
You mention your archives – aren’t they based on Nazi research?
Yes, found by Kenneth Spamp in the closing weeks of World War Two. It was a treasure trove of strange stories and odd tales. The Nazis were so into that sort of astrological mumbo-jumbo! So we used it to weave our own little web of disinformation!
It's all rather complicated!
Well, the chap had over 350 pages to play with and he certainly filled them up with words. Mostly 'gun', 'blood' and 'dead' from what one can discern...
So, getting back to this virus. It’s got a bit out of control..
It has, rather, hasn’t it? Not a good day.
And the suicides.
Yes, and the suicides. Quite a few of those, aren’t there? This interview’s going to look pretty negative in print, I have to say. Well! Have you ever seen a Yeti? I have!
You’re killed in the next scene.
Yes, on a park bench by the Thames near Richmond. It’s quite a nice place to die.
Any regrets?
What? Apart from being responsible for the virus that’s locking up the country’s computers, telecoms, power and road networks; the multiple murders created by my out of control ‘minder’, the suicides of my second in command and my computer expert and the fact that the man who founded my agency is not in fact dead at all but running a super-powerful cabal of shadowy international power freaks who are reverse engineering two millennia old spaceships?
Yes.
No, no regrets at all, dear heart! It’s been a spiffing day!
Thank you, Lysander Cullinane.
Any time, my dear. Now. Have you seen that wretched Russky, Litvanoff?
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius. Also try Peter Booth's Their Name is Legion or Lauri Shaw's wicked Servicing the Pole!
So you’ve been quite a popular character in Space. Who’s your own favourite character?
Oh, it’s got to be Eva Bartholdy. Of course, she plays a great deal greater role in the book than it seems at first. She’s a charming lady, although she does have quirks. But then we all have quirks, don’t we?
Things haven’t been going terribly well for you, have they?
No, I have to confess they have been better, old thing. It’s odd to have to admit it, but I’m even a little sad that I ever got involved with young Dr. Ben Jonson, although this really isn’t all his fault. Things have unravelled a tad, though. For a start the Russian mafia have been bugging my office, then I’ve lost a good operative in Ian Beresford. Having young Neon seconded from the Americans went pretty wrong, too. She’s a little too, um, trigger-happy, isn’t she? But she does look absolutely marvellous in a black leather catsuit, one has to admit!
And then there’s the virus...
Yes, the virus. Well, we’ve always run campaigns here at The Space Agency that have worked well in terms of disguising what’s actually going on. We’ve had some great successes: stories that have diverted attention away from the real machinations and intent of those in government. It’s important to do that, sometimes. As you know, we invented the Loch Ness Monster, spontaneous combustion, UFOs, out of body experiences. All that paranormal claptrap originated from the teams of young creatives and the massive archives we have here. We’re running most of the Internet, these days. Authonomy was one of ours, you know. Web 2.0 thinking is so exciting, don’t you think? Put the writers where you can see ‘em, that’s what we say!
You mention your archives – aren’t they based on Nazi research?
Yes, found by Kenneth Spamp in the closing weeks of World War Two. It was a treasure trove of strange stories and odd tales. The Nazis were so into that sort of astrological mumbo-jumbo! So we used it to weave our own little web of disinformation!
It's all rather complicated!
Well, the chap had over 350 pages to play with and he certainly filled them up with words. Mostly 'gun', 'blood' and 'dead' from what one can discern...
So, getting back to this virus. It’s got a bit out of control..
It has, rather, hasn’t it? Not a good day.
And the suicides.
Yes, and the suicides. Quite a few of those, aren’t there? This interview’s going to look pretty negative in print, I have to say. Well! Have you ever seen a Yeti? I have!
You’re killed in the next scene.
Yes, on a park bench by the Thames near Richmond. It’s quite a nice place to die.
Any regrets?
What? Apart from being responsible for the virus that’s locking up the country’s computers, telecoms, power and road networks; the multiple murders created by my out of control ‘minder’, the suicides of my second in command and my computer expert and the fact that the man who founded my agency is not in fact dead at all but running a super-powerful cabal of shadowy international power freaks who are reverse engineering two millennia old spaceships?
Yes.
No, no regrets at all, dear heart! It’s been a spiffing day!
Thank you, Lysander Cullinane.
Any time, my dear. Now. Have you seen that wretched Russky, Litvanoff?
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius. Also try Peter Booth's Their Name is Legion or Lauri Shaw's wicked Servicing the Pole!
Send to Kindle
Monday 27 October 2008
Plug
In the latest in a series of pathetic 'teasers' trying to recruit readers for that most wonderfully amusing of books, Space, Tuesday Belgravia caught one of the book's most popular and controversial characters, Véronique the housemaid from Vientiane, during the writing of her final scene in the book.
So you’re quite a complex character, really, aren’t you? Because you’re not a housemaid at all, really!
Yes, that’s right. I’m actually working for the Russian mafia and I’m actually spying on Dr. Ben Jonson because Ivan Litvanoff thinks he’s connected to Eva Bartholdy.
Ummm. Your accent is... well, very English! In the book you sound Asian.
That’s because I’m a RADA trained character, obviously. Did you really think that all Asian people spoke like that? I suppose you can’t tell us apart, either.
Well, no, it’s not like that, really...
I mean, you probably thought I came off the last sampan! Oh, lookie! It’s a Chinky-wink! Do that funny thing do you with slanty eyes, Derek! You want love me long time, Johnny? Ooh look, it’s Ting Tong! I mean, give me a break.
No, no, no. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause any offense!
Make her say L! That’s always good for a laugh, isn’t it round-eye? Herro rovery rady!! Eh? Vis chicken’s rubbery! Why is it always chickens with you people as well? Like you hap chicken is you good ruck! See? You’re laughing!
Well, that is one of your lines from Space, isn’t it?
Yes and I’m less than happy about it. They’re making it into a bloody T-shirt now, you know.
Changing the subject, you get shot in this scene.
It’s scandalous. Everyone in this damn book gets shot. There’s just guns and dead people all over the place. I’m surprised anyone can write in here for the blood and gore and stuff. And, as usual, it’s not a nice clean bullet in the heart, oh no. I get my damn face blown off. I’ve worked for better authors, I can tell you!
Like who?
I just have, right?
A last question, in character if you don’t mind, what’s your favourite bit of the book?
You for real, are you? In character?
Well, yes.
Me no hap like best bit. I am fink vis whole damn book sirry. I finding vis arrixandar, I mess him up good piece rong time. There. Happy?
Thank you, Véronique
I don’t think.
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius.
So you’re quite a complex character, really, aren’t you? Because you’re not a housemaid at all, really!
Yes, that’s right. I’m actually working for the Russian mafia and I’m actually spying on Dr. Ben Jonson because Ivan Litvanoff thinks he’s connected to Eva Bartholdy.
Ummm. Your accent is... well, very English! In the book you sound Asian.
That’s because I’m a RADA trained character, obviously. Did you really think that all Asian people spoke like that? I suppose you can’t tell us apart, either.
Well, no, it’s not like that, really...
I mean, you probably thought I came off the last sampan! Oh, lookie! It’s a Chinky-wink! Do that funny thing do you with slanty eyes, Derek! You want love me long time, Johnny? Ooh look, it’s Ting Tong! I mean, give me a break.
No, no, no. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause any offense!
Make her say L! That’s always good for a laugh, isn’t it round-eye? Herro rovery rady!! Eh? Vis chicken’s rubbery! Why is it always chickens with you people as well? Like you hap chicken is you good ruck! See? You’re laughing!
Well, that is one of your lines from Space, isn’t it?
Yes and I’m less than happy about it. They’re making it into a bloody T-shirt now, you know.
Changing the subject, you get shot in this scene.
It’s scandalous. Everyone in this damn book gets shot. There’s just guns and dead people all over the place. I’m surprised anyone can write in here for the blood and gore and stuff. And, as usual, it’s not a nice clean bullet in the heart, oh no. I get my damn face blown off. I’ve worked for better authors, I can tell you!
Like who?
I just have, right?
A last question, in character if you don’t mind, what’s your favourite bit of the book?
You for real, are you? In character?
Well, yes.
Me no hap like best bit. I am fink vis whole damn book sirry. I finding vis arrixandar, I mess him up good piece rong time. There. Happy?
Thank you, Véronique
I don’t think.
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! There are three days to go and, believe me, your vote counts right now!
Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Try Stalking the Widowmaker by Greg Horbay for instance, or MM Bennets' epic 1812. MM Trevalean's Tartare is certainly an interesting, if unsettling read and then there's Dan Holloway's Songs from the other side of the wall, a work of literary genius.
Send to Kindle
Saturday 25 October 2008
Camp
Tuesday Belgravia talks to Nigel, the terribly camp chap that looks after the M15 safe house that briefly shelters hero Ben Jonson and First Lady Neon Wilcox as they embark on life on the run. She caught up with Nigel as he finished the dusting preparatory to the writing of his final scene in manic comedy thriller Space.
Hi, Nigel, I understand you’re about to start on the writing of your final scene. It looks painful!
Oh, you’re telling me! It’s simply awful, really. I’ve been tied to the floor using high tensile nylon fishing line that’s been looped around my piercings and then tied to brass hooks screwed into the woodwork. And I can’t really move, to tell you the truth. It’s all very Jonathon Swift around here, I must say.
Umm. Why?
Because the Russian baddies, led by a very unpleasant chap called Ivan Litvanoff, want to know where Ben and Neon are going next. So they’re torturing me. I must say, it really is something of an imposition! I mean, I hadn’t even finished the dusting!
So where are they going?
Well that’s the problem, isn’t it my dear? I know they’re going to find someone called Rene Levesques in Paris. But that’s all I know!
Why are they going to find Rene Levesques?
Because Eva Bartholdy sent them there. I’ve known her for years, of course. She was in British intelligence in the war and she’s been something of a grand old dame to us in the ‘community’ ever since. I think she’s just wonderful and she loves my baking!
Are you going to tell the Russians where Ben’s going to, then?
Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it? Let’s say the acid test will be whether Litvanoff finds my Prince Albert!
Prince Albert?
Honestly, I’d really rather leave it there!
Thank you, Nigel!
Oh, no, thank you. Always nice to have a chitchat!
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Hi, Nigel, I understand you’re about to start on the writing of your final scene. It looks painful!
Oh, you’re telling me! It’s simply awful, really. I’ve been tied to the floor using high tensile nylon fishing line that’s been looped around my piercings and then tied to brass hooks screwed into the woodwork. And I can’t really move, to tell you the truth. It’s all very Jonathon Swift around here, I must say.
Umm. Why?
Because the Russian baddies, led by a very unpleasant chap called Ivan Litvanoff, want to know where Ben and Neon are going next. So they’re torturing me. I must say, it really is something of an imposition! I mean, I hadn’t even finished the dusting!
So where are they going?
Well that’s the problem, isn’t it my dear? I know they’re going to find someone called Rene Levesques in Paris. But that’s all I know!
Why are they going to find Rene Levesques?
Because Eva Bartholdy sent them there. I’ve known her for years, of course. She was in British intelligence in the war and she’s been something of a grand old dame to us in the ‘community’ ever since. I think she’s just wonderful and she loves my baking!
Are you going to tell the Russians where Ben’s going to, then?
Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it? Let’s say the acid test will be whether Litvanoff finds my Prince Albert!
Prince Albert?
Honestly, I’d really rather leave it there!
Thank you, Nigel!
Oh, no, thank you. Always nice to have a chitchat!
You can read Space online on authonomy by clicking on this handy, easy to use hyperlink. And if the book makes you laugh and looks like something you'd buy and read, then you can 'Bookshelf' it and vote for it to stay in the top five books to be 'cherry-picked' for review by Harper Collins' editors at the end of the month! Incidentally, there's a load of other fiction by new writers in the UK, US, Europe and Australia up there, so have a poke around too and see what takes your fancy!
Send to Kindle
Friday 24 October 2008
Book
I thought I’d just post up some bits and bobs from/about Space for the rest of the month just to give people a wee ‘amuse bouche’ of all the fun and frolics awaiting them if they go and read Space, that most wonderful cure for a broad spectrum of common ailments.
It's up on Harper Collins' authonomy new writer's website and I would encourage you to 'Back the book' and add your vote if the book makes you laugh and you'd buy it in a bookshop.
While you're there, take a look at Keefieboy's Tybault and Theo!
Today, reporter Tuesday Belgravia talks to Kylie Smith, sex shop worker and the love interest in Space during a break from writing the book on location in Paris.
So you’re just taking a break from writing and I think you’re just about to find Rene Levesques at a cafe in Paris, in the Marais district...
Yes, that’s the idea, I think. He’s a nice old bloke, a French gentleman, so I’m looking forward to meeting him actually. But I’ve just discovered this French drink called Montalow, at a cafe near the Pompeedoo Centre, and it’s like washing your teeth only much bigger. Sort of like doing lots of Crem de Menth shots. Have you ever had a Crem de Menth shot?
Umm, no. You’re on the run with Ben Jonson. What’s he like?
Oh, I like Ben, see. I mean, he’s not exactly the most exciting bloke in the world and everything, but I usually pull blokes with pitbulls and gold teeth what hit me, so he’s much nicer. He’s a doctor, see? I sort of fancy him. But he’s very jumpy on account of things appearing around him with a pop and some sort of secret from the war that only Mr. Levesques knows about. So Ben has to see him. It’s all very exciting for a girl like me, I only usually see sort of ASBO stuff, you know? Not international crime and that!
Fancy Ben? But didn’t you fancy Detective Inspector Ocelot?
Mr. Oscelot? Nah! Don’t be daft! I was just winding him up a bit ‘cos every time he saw my boobs he got all sweaty. He was nice, though, like a proper TV detective an’ all! Though he didn’t have a housekeeper. Do you like my boobs?
They’re very nice. Moving on, is it true that you’ve featured in a sex film?
Who told you about that? I’m not talking about that! I said I wouln’t talk about it!
Apparently you were very good in it!
(Laughs) I won’t, I was very bad in it. But I said I wouln’t talk about School of Sex!
Was that the title?
Ummm. Yes.
And what happened in it?
(sighs) Oh, you know, the usual. BJ, DP. Usual.
DP? Dom Perignon?
What? No! Look, it was just one of them arty house movies. Can we just move on?
You're a popular character in Space. Do you mind dying in the book?
Do I?
Yes. Actually, quite a lot of people do!
Oh. That’s put a bit of a damper on things, then, hasn’t it?
Didn’t you know?
Know? Of course not! Wouldn’t have taken the job if I’d known that, would I?
Thank you, Kylie, for your time.
Yeah right. Thanks for telling me I’m gonna die. Not in this scene, is it?
No
Oh. That’s alright then. I can finish me montalow at least.
It's up on Harper Collins' authonomy new writer's website and I would encourage you to 'Back the book' and add your vote if the book makes you laugh and you'd buy it in a bookshop.
While you're there, take a look at Keefieboy's Tybault and Theo!
Today, reporter Tuesday Belgravia talks to Kylie Smith, sex shop worker and the love interest in Space during a break from writing the book on location in Paris.
So you’re just taking a break from writing and I think you’re just about to find Rene Levesques at a cafe in Paris, in the Marais district...
Yes, that’s the idea, I think. He’s a nice old bloke, a French gentleman, so I’m looking forward to meeting him actually. But I’ve just discovered this French drink called Montalow, at a cafe near the Pompeedoo Centre, and it’s like washing your teeth only much bigger. Sort of like doing lots of Crem de Menth shots. Have you ever had a Crem de Menth shot?
Umm, no. You’re on the run with Ben Jonson. What’s he like?
Oh, I like Ben, see. I mean, he’s not exactly the most exciting bloke in the world and everything, but I usually pull blokes with pitbulls and gold teeth what hit me, so he’s much nicer. He’s a doctor, see? I sort of fancy him. But he’s very jumpy on account of things appearing around him with a pop and some sort of secret from the war that only Mr. Levesques knows about. So Ben has to see him. It’s all very exciting for a girl like me, I only usually see sort of ASBO stuff, you know? Not international crime and that!
Fancy Ben? But didn’t you fancy Detective Inspector Ocelot?
Mr. Oscelot? Nah! Don’t be daft! I was just winding him up a bit ‘cos every time he saw my boobs he got all sweaty. He was nice, though, like a proper TV detective an’ all! Though he didn’t have a housekeeper. Do you like my boobs?
They’re very nice. Moving on, is it true that you’ve featured in a sex film?
Who told you about that? I’m not talking about that! I said I wouln’t talk about it!
Apparently you were very good in it!
(Laughs) I won’t, I was very bad in it. But I said I wouln’t talk about School of Sex!
Was that the title?
Ummm. Yes.
And what happened in it?
(sighs) Oh, you know, the usual. BJ, DP. Usual.
DP? Dom Perignon?
What? No! Look, it was just one of them arty house movies. Can we just move on?
You're a popular character in Space. Do you mind dying in the book?
Do I?
Yes. Actually, quite a lot of people do!
Oh. That’s put a bit of a damper on things, then, hasn’t it?
Didn’t you know?
Know? Of course not! Wouldn’t have taken the job if I’d known that, would I?
Thank you, Kylie, for your time.
Yeah right. Thanks for telling me I’m gonna die. Not in this scene, is it?
No
Oh. That’s alright then. I can finish me montalow at least.
Send to Kindle
Monday 13 October 2008
Books
I have previously ranted about Authonomy, the HarperCollins alternative to the publisher’s slushpile. I am glad I discovered it for any number of reasons, but one has been the chance to read a hell of a lot of original fiction that you, the consumer, are not and possibly would not otherwise be exposed to. It's Web 2.0 thinking at its best: the site is completely populated by content from its participants. And what content!!
It’s interesting that you have a chance to participate in this new egalitanariasm: if you’re a keen reader, you can sign up for Authonomy yourself and vote the type of books you like to the top of the chart, to the HarperCollins Editors’ Desk. Each month, the top five books are plucked for a read by HC editors. As I have said before, most authors would wax their bits in public for a chance to get that sort of attention.
So you can actually influence the kinds of books that are being sorted and selected. If, like me, you wander around bookshops wondering why there’s so much mediocrity there, Authonomy actually has the potential to act as a barometer of public opinion.
So here’s some of the writing I have encountered in my journeys around Authonomy: writing that has delighted me or otherwise convinced me that there’s more good and interesting work in all this unpublished stuff than there is in my local bookshop.
Incidentally, most people would expect me to use this as an opportunity to plug my own book, Space, on Authonomy. But I’m above that. It might be the No. 1 thriller, No. 2 comedy and No. 3 sci-fi on this site, but I’d hardly expect you to click on this handy link and read, laugh at and back my own book first. I am simply not that kind of chap.
Right. Here’s my guide to a tasting of smart new literature from unsigned UK, Australian and American authors.
The Banjo Players Must Die by Josef Assad is one of the more original and challenging books on Authonomy. It’s as mad as a hatter’s convention and insanely creative and funny.
Evil Unlimited by my mate Simon Forward is one of the top ranked books on Authonomy, a funny and madcap sci-fi comedy that somehow makes you think of the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then feel ashamed of yourself because it's an original book with its own life and style to it. Do try it!
Going to the Mountain, by JW Reitz. A luscious book about growing up as a settler in Xhosa country, about looking back on your life’s action: guilt, as the author says, and sex and death.
Sunday’s Child by Anne Lyken-Gardner is a dark but beautifully told tale of a childhood of abuse in Latin America. It’s a haunting and lyrical work that some will find traumatically evocative. It's one of my favourite things on Authonomy.
The Girl on the Swing by Ali Cooper is a book that attracted me for all the wrong reasons: not my kind of book at all. But its clever, dense language and descriptive prose soon turn into a book that captures you.
You want action, Asian gogo bars and big gun, move fast thriller stuff? This is the book for you, Hunting Buddha by Jamie DeBaisio is a really fast paced gangsta book set in Hong Kong. Guaranteed riveting read from Ch1.
How about a bit of ‘classic’ sci-fi? Bob Pickup is a train driver by day who composes intergalactic science fiction that’s about as ‘out there’ as you’d want and highly readable, too.
And, of course famed blogger Keefieboy's new (and timely!?) financial crash book, Tybalt and Theo, which time-switches between present day disaster and a distant, simpler past...
There’s loads more out there – well over a thousand books are now on Authonomy and anyone can go along, dip into them, chat to the authors and generally have an influence on the way new writing in the UK is shaping up.
And I, for one, find that exhilarating. Give it a whirl – and don’t forget Space!!!
It’s interesting that you have a chance to participate in this new egalitanariasm: if you’re a keen reader, you can sign up for Authonomy yourself and vote the type of books you like to the top of the chart, to the HarperCollins Editors’ Desk. Each month, the top five books are plucked for a read by HC editors. As I have said before, most authors would wax their bits in public for a chance to get that sort of attention.
So you can actually influence the kinds of books that are being sorted and selected. If, like me, you wander around bookshops wondering why there’s so much mediocrity there, Authonomy actually has the potential to act as a barometer of public opinion.
So here’s some of the writing I have encountered in my journeys around Authonomy: writing that has delighted me or otherwise convinced me that there’s more good and interesting work in all this unpublished stuff than there is in my local bookshop.
Incidentally, most people would expect me to use this as an opportunity to plug my own book, Space, on Authonomy. But I’m above that. It might be the No. 1 thriller, No. 2 comedy and No. 3 sci-fi on this site, but I’d hardly expect you to click on this handy link and read, laugh at and back my own book first. I am simply not that kind of chap.
Right. Here’s my guide to a tasting of smart new literature from unsigned UK, Australian and American authors.
The Banjo Players Must Die by Josef Assad is one of the more original and challenging books on Authonomy. It’s as mad as a hatter’s convention and insanely creative and funny.
Evil Unlimited by my mate Simon Forward is one of the top ranked books on Authonomy, a funny and madcap sci-fi comedy that somehow makes you think of the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then feel ashamed of yourself because it's an original book with its own life and style to it. Do try it!
Going to the Mountain, by JW Reitz. A luscious book about growing up as a settler in Xhosa country, about looking back on your life’s action: guilt, as the author says, and sex and death.
Sunday’s Child by Anne Lyken-Gardner is a dark but beautifully told tale of a childhood of abuse in Latin America. It’s a haunting and lyrical work that some will find traumatically evocative. It's one of my favourite things on Authonomy.
The Girl on the Swing by Ali Cooper is a book that attracted me for all the wrong reasons: not my kind of book at all. But its clever, dense language and descriptive prose soon turn into a book that captures you.
You want action, Asian gogo bars and big gun, move fast thriller stuff? This is the book for you, Hunting Buddha by Jamie DeBaisio is a really fast paced gangsta book set in Hong Kong. Guaranteed riveting read from Ch1.
How about a bit of ‘classic’ sci-fi? Bob Pickup is a train driver by day who composes intergalactic science fiction that’s about as ‘out there’ as you’d want and highly readable, too.
And, of course famed blogger Keefieboy's new (and timely!?) financial crash book, Tybalt and Theo, which time-switches between present day disaster and a distant, simpler past...
There’s loads more out there – well over a thousand books are now on Authonomy and anyone can go along, dip into them, chat to the authors and generally have an influence on the way new writing in the UK is shaping up.
And I, for one, find that exhilarating. Give it a whirl – and don’t forget Space!!!
Send to Kindle
Wednesday 8 October 2008
Geekdom
For such a smart company, Google can be incredibly daft at times. Do you ever get an Arabic interface on www.google.com because you've been redirected to www.google.ae which automatically decides you're an Arabic speaker?
Yes?
Then prepare to wire me Dhs 100 for I have the answer to your woes. Go here. Now click on the third link down (Google: no country redirect) and click OK. A plug-in will be installed that fixes the Google "I assume you're an Arabic speaker because you're browsing from the Middle East's biggest international jet-set hot spot, tourist hub and international community" tomfoolery.
No, no, don't thank me. Just wire the cash or go to Authonomy and read Space. Did I mention it was now at number 9? Oh, OK. Sorry...
Yes?
Then prepare to wire me Dhs 100 for I have the answer to your woes. Go here. Now click on the third link down (Google: no country redirect) and click OK. A plug-in will be installed that fixes the Google "I assume you're an Arabic speaker because you're browsing from the Middle East's biggest international jet-set hot spot, tourist hub and international community" tomfoolery.
No, no, don't thank me. Just wire the cash or go to Authonomy and read Space. Did I mention it was now at number 9? Oh, OK. Sorry...
Send to Kindle
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Monday 15 September 2008
Slushpile
The publishing game is a funny one. You’d have thought that writing a book was one of the hardest things you can do, but you’d be wrong. The really hard bit is getting it published.
Most UK publishers won’t even look at your book unless you’ve got a literary agent, although some authors have done it the other way around (Iain Banks, for instance). So you have to send off the first three chapters of your magnificent octopus* to literary agents along with a letter outlining why it’s interesting and a synopsis of the book itself. You also have to enclose an SAE (stamped addressed envelope). Agents are aggressively analogue and won’t respond by email. 98% of them won’t take submissions by email and they are really, really picky about people following the rules, Manuscripts should be double spaced, printed one side, loose bound. Letters should be straightforward and informative, not quirky or different. And so on. Agents make aspiring authors jump through an awful lot of hoops. In the right sequence, too, if you don’t mind.
The putative author is lucky to get any response at all beyond a photocopied rejection slip. Most agents don’t even bother reading the contents of their daily ‘slushpile’ – the 40-odd envelopes that land on the agency doorstep every day. I rather suspect many give the job of going through these submissions to the secretary or an intern.
Some are better than this. But they are in the minority.
So it’s a soul-destroying process. You send off batches your manuscript (or MS as it’s called in the trade) and get batches of copied rejections back for your efforts. If you’re really lucky – and everyone involved will tell you how lucky you are to get this – you’ll get some feedback, a few lines of encouragement and perhaps even a tip or two on improving the book. Writers buffeted by constant rejection receive these occasional flashes of light with an almost pathetic gratitude. And all this, mind you, to get someone to agree to bother representing you and therefore take 10-15% of your earnings.
Enter a bit of Web 2.0 thinking: publisher HarperCollins has launched a brilliant new website called Authonomy. Writers can post their work up on Authonomy, anything from 10,000 words to a complete book, and people can visit the site and read their books. If people like a book, they can put it on their virtual bookshelves, which increases the book’s ranking. Every month, HarperCollins’ editors skim the top 5 books off the pile and take them off to read. Getting an HC editor to read your book is, particularly if you’ve been drowning in the shitty stench and mush of the slushpiles for a while, probably worth a finger or so.
So, new talent gets a chance and the slushpile gets disintermediated. And it will, if others follow this example. On Authonomy, new authors can support each other, read each other’s work and comment, as can readers in general. People can be as critical as they like or as supportive as they like. And, the theory goes, over time good work will get recognised and make its way to the top of the tree. There are also forums on the site where people can discuss writing and publishing in general, plug their books or make recommendations. Not bad, huh?
There are question marks, of course. Isn’t this all a bit demeaning, a sort of literary ‘Big Brother’ where people are scrabbling over each other, all pretending to be nice to each other as they seek out that top five slot? Yes, there are elements of that. Does it replace the slushpile? No, it doesn’t – but it’s a first step for a business that has remained maddeningly crusty, dusty and analogue.
Why do I know all this stuff about writing or even give a damn? Because my book’s up there with over 1,000 others. It’s called ‘Space’ and I wrote it a few years back because voices in my head told me to do it. It’s a wilfully self-destructive and scabrous little thing, intended to make you laugh and to generally behave as badly as a book could behave. It’s also been rejected by pretty much every agent in the UK. Irritatingly, it made all those that read it laugh, but many felt it was too different. I do hate that.
Anyway, do feel free to wander over to Authonomy and have a read of Space. If it makes you laugh, feel free to put it on your bookshelf and help propel me closer to getting an HC editor to read the damn thing.
Similarly, feel free to have a look at Keefieboy’s book, ‘Travels in Xanadu-du’, which is also up there!
* Magnum opus. It’s a Black Addder joke...
Most UK publishers won’t even look at your book unless you’ve got a literary agent, although some authors have done it the other way around (Iain Banks, for instance). So you have to send off the first three chapters of your magnificent octopus* to literary agents along with a letter outlining why it’s interesting and a synopsis of the book itself. You also have to enclose an SAE (stamped addressed envelope). Agents are aggressively analogue and won’t respond by email. 98% of them won’t take submissions by email and they are really, really picky about people following the rules, Manuscripts should be double spaced, printed one side, loose bound. Letters should be straightforward and informative, not quirky or different. And so on. Agents make aspiring authors jump through an awful lot of hoops. In the right sequence, too, if you don’t mind.
The putative author is lucky to get any response at all beyond a photocopied rejection slip. Most agents don’t even bother reading the contents of their daily ‘slushpile’ – the 40-odd envelopes that land on the agency doorstep every day. I rather suspect many give the job of going through these submissions to the secretary or an intern.
Some are better than this. But they are in the minority.
So it’s a soul-destroying process. You send off batches your manuscript (or MS as it’s called in the trade) and get batches of copied rejections back for your efforts. If you’re really lucky – and everyone involved will tell you how lucky you are to get this – you’ll get some feedback, a few lines of encouragement and perhaps even a tip or two on improving the book. Writers buffeted by constant rejection receive these occasional flashes of light with an almost pathetic gratitude. And all this, mind you, to get someone to agree to bother representing you and therefore take 10-15% of your earnings.
Enter a bit of Web 2.0 thinking: publisher HarperCollins has launched a brilliant new website called Authonomy. Writers can post their work up on Authonomy, anything from 10,000 words to a complete book, and people can visit the site and read their books. If people like a book, they can put it on their virtual bookshelves, which increases the book’s ranking. Every month, HarperCollins’ editors skim the top 5 books off the pile and take them off to read. Getting an HC editor to read your book is, particularly if you’ve been drowning in the shitty stench and mush of the slushpiles for a while, probably worth a finger or so.
So, new talent gets a chance and the slushpile gets disintermediated. And it will, if others follow this example. On Authonomy, new authors can support each other, read each other’s work and comment, as can readers in general. People can be as critical as they like or as supportive as they like. And, the theory goes, over time good work will get recognised and make its way to the top of the tree. There are also forums on the site where people can discuss writing and publishing in general, plug their books or make recommendations. Not bad, huh?
There are question marks, of course. Isn’t this all a bit demeaning, a sort of literary ‘Big Brother’ where people are scrabbling over each other, all pretending to be nice to each other as they seek out that top five slot? Yes, there are elements of that. Does it replace the slushpile? No, it doesn’t – but it’s a first step for a business that has remained maddeningly crusty, dusty and analogue.
Why do I know all this stuff about writing or even give a damn? Because my book’s up there with over 1,000 others. It’s called ‘Space’ and I wrote it a few years back because voices in my head told me to do it. It’s a wilfully self-destructive and scabrous little thing, intended to make you laugh and to generally behave as badly as a book could behave. It’s also been rejected by pretty much every agent in the UK. Irritatingly, it made all those that read it laugh, but many felt it was too different. I do hate that.
Anyway, do feel free to wander over to Authonomy and have a read of Space. If it makes you laugh, feel free to put it on your bookshelf and help propel me closer to getting an HC editor to read the damn thing.
Similarly, feel free to have a look at Keefieboy’s book, ‘Travels in Xanadu-du’, which is also up there!
* Magnum opus. It’s a Black Addder joke...
Send to Kindle
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