Wednesday, 9 April 2008


I posted about my awful bank, HSBC, and at how happy I was to make the move to Lloyds. Lloyds then proceeded to make an awful hash of setting up the account. They issued my debit card with the wrong name on it twice, managed to lose Sarah’s application for a Visa card and generally screwed up the Internet banking side of things by sending me an email to complete the process that was only distinguishable from a phishing email by the fact that it wasn’t as professionally presented as the phishing mails. I still can’t believe that a bank could be stupid enough to send its customers emails with live links to online forms that ask for secure information. It’s taken them over two months to fail to open an account properly. In the meantime, people have been walking up to me in the street, incredulous that I’ve moved to Lloyds and telling me how much they hate them. So we’ve decided to sue for peace and stay with the Hong Kong and Shanghai Blitheringfools Club.

Then I posted about the furniture cleaning company man being impressive. So impressive that when it came to the day of the actual cleaning, they didn’t turn up. They had decided they didn’t want to do the job. Their parent company, meanwhile, managed to lose a silk throw that was sent into them for dry cleaning, with much attendant unpleasantness and a week’s worth of hysterical phone calls from a ranting Sarah. The upholstery team eventually did turn up, just at the wrong time, and destroyed the afternoon although, and let us be thankful for small mercies, not the sofa.

So when Axa insurance sent me an SMS reminder to renew my car insurance, with my policy number in the message and their call centre number so’s I could call then and there to renew, I vowed not to post anything about being impressed. When the call centre took the call, dealt with it effectively and efficiently and renewed my policy on the spot, I promised myself that I would preserve the silence of the confessional. When the documents turned up on my desk, delivered by courier the next day as promised by the girl in the call centre, in order and perfect in every respect, I finally snapped.

It’s safe to post now.

*SNAFU is a great acronym, BTW. Just in case you didn’t know, it stands for Situation Normal All Fcuked Up.


i*maginate said...

Oh well, that's why I decided not to change banks. In the end, I knew another bank wouldn't be any different.

Ever tried Coutts though? lol. I have a feeling they might offer slightly better customer service.

As for these recurrent mishaps it's frustrating that this is the norm here - so much so, that when something basic gets done, we celebrate. That's so f*ing annoying. At least it gives service companies that actually deliver as promised leverage to price services accordingly!

Seabee said...

I think the general concensus is that all the banks here are as bad as each other so there's no point chnaging.

I've had good service from AXA Insurance too. It's amazing for Dubai.

Keef said...

I never found HSBC to be too bad - certainly a lot better than NBD, with whom I had a business account for a year (during which time I could never be in the right place at the right time to sign-off the courier deliveries of my online banking PIN and password), and MeBank (my wife banked with them, and it seemed like every single transaction was a novelty event: dreadful, they were).

i*maginate said...

"(during which time I could never be in the right place at the right time to sign-off the courier deliveries of my online banking PIN and password)"

I asked the teller @ my bank to give me my balance and he shouted it out. When I complained to the manager, he told me to be patient because 'the guy was Sudani' and is used to 'old banking systems'

(???!!! what an explanation!)

So, if they wanna bank old-style, I don't see why they can't send the bluddy online banking pin details by POST. That way I don't have to wait for some moronic courier service to come to my house whenever they want...effectively barricading me in my own home until they don't show up!!

My free advice to my bank would be: save $ on couriers and send by post, the old-fashioned way.


I quite fancy the guy @ Lloyds though, but perhaps he's gay...

Alexander said...

BTW - I* and KB - have you two kissed and made up?

i*maginate said...

alexander, I apologised early on but my apol was obviously not accepted


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