Blocked

road_block.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(This here piece is wot started me off)

"I'm trying to park my car, but the parking bay's been blocked."
"Yes, that's right."
"What on earth do you mean? The parking bay came with my Shoreline Shiny!"
"Control and regulation of the Shoreline car parks is essential for the protection, security, safety and wellbeing of residents."
"What in heaven's name are you babbling about? I've got a car full of shopping and I want to get to my Shiny!"
"You can't. It's been blocked."
"Look, I know that, it's why I'm in your office talking to you! Unblock it!"
"Careful with that temper now, sir - remember last time I had to mace you."
"Unblock my parking space, for pity's sake! Whatever happened to a distinguished life of leisure and relaxation by the blue waters of the Arabian Gulf?"
"We can't. It's the regulations. We have the right to regulate car park access and will take all legal steps to do so. Owners who have paid their service charges and collected their cards have nothing to worry about. However, as we have said many times before, people who have paid their service fees cannot be expected to continue to subsidise those who have not."
"Why are you reading from that piece of paper?"
"I'm not. Look, I sympathise, really I do, but your landlord has clearly not paid his maintenance obligations, so we've had to block your space to make him pay."
"I don't get this. How does hurting me get him to pay?"
"We're obviously depending on you hurting him in turn."
"I can't, can I? He doesn't even live in Dubai. What can I do? Refuse to pay the rent? Then he'll evict me."
"Not our problem, really, is it? Anyway, car parks are not part of the sales agreement."
"You mean like the beaches? What about the roads, do I have the right to use those or are you going to withdraw them as well?"
"There's no call for sarcasm, sir. You'll have to lobby your landlord."
"What if I lobby you? Because you're here and he's not and I really don't see why your dispute with him should involve me!"
"We're only the master developer. You'll have to talk to your landlord. Now move along, sir, there's a queue of people behind you who want to complain as well - as we have said many times before, we don't see why one tenant complaining should expect to stop other tenants complaining who have not."
"Unblock my parking space!"
"Lalalalalalala."

(Shiny posts passim)