The Liberty Bus

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know when a day goes to complete ratshit? When you had plans and they gang aft agley? It was that sort of day last Thursday. Scheduled to be in Warqa for festive nibbles with pals, I'm still in the office at six with a drive to Ajman and back ahead of me and every road in Dubai is crimson on Google Maps. The MBZ is just awful, blocked up south of Mirdif.

And so, desperate, I set off to find The Last Snicket, the tiny gap out by the RTA depot in the desert beyond Mizhar that breaches the insane wall of concrete lumps that very transport authority has constructed in the sands that border two parts of the same country.

I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, if I'd sat out the MBZ mess, I'd have been through in 30 minutes. But something in me, the spirit that sets salmon carving their way across the world's oceans to seek a nice, Scottish river to die in, craved freedom. Driving along the sandy track by the barrier in the darkness, I started to doubt myself. Was this really the smart thing to do? Of course it was, I was moving, wasn't I?

The little gap was closed. They've been plugging gaps opening in their barrier daily. And they've gone further out into the remote desert than ever before. You know that feeling when you just have to keep going around the next corner in the wadi to see what's there? Yep, that. I carry on up sandy hill and down bosky dell, finding gap after gap has been plugged with the ground all around churned up by the tractors they've used to pile up great walls of sand to reinforce their barrier. Until I get to The Last Snicket, literally a few hundred yards from the Emirates Road, the E611, in the deep, deep desert.

They've even blocked that, something I discover as I hurl the car over the piles they've made in their blocking frenzy, the Pajero bucking on the rough, soft sand and then lurching down a steep slope into a deep, pitch black bowl. That's when The Fear hit me, the nasty tingle you get when you know something really, really bad's about to happen and you're powerless to stop it. There are two ways out of the bowl, a long slope that appears to have no ending in the darkness and a steep boggy little track out to the right, all churned up and deeply rutted soft sand. I can see very little because my lights are pointed downwards as I slip down the slope. I'm going too slowly, slam my foot down on the throttle and go for the boggy sand, knowing in my heart of hearts I don't have enough speed. Sure enough, half-way up, I dig in and grind to a halt. I reverse to try and regain some momentum to get back up the steep incline I've come down, but it's useless. I stick right there in the cusp of the bowl in the desert blackness.

I say some rude things and then abandon ship. It's too late, too remote and too dark to do anything else. I clamber up the soft dunes and strike out towards the bright lights of the labour camp that sits between the RTA depot and the snaking lights of the 611. Shoes filled with sand, I realise what a spectacle I present when labourers stop to gape at me - a man has walked out of the inky darkness of the desert wearing a blue suit and carrying a laptop bag. I do what any decent Englishman would do and wave, bidding them a cheery 'Good evening'.

I find a gentleman wearing a 'security' uniform. 'Good evening,' I smile. 'Is there any chance I could get a taxi from here?'

He is speechless, but the chap next to him has more presence of mind. 'Where going?' He asks. 'To Sharjah,' I tell him. He grabs my arm and propels me to a nearby bus full of labourers. 'Sharjah, Sharjah, one way!' he shouts at the driver. A jockey seat is put down and patted by a chap in tatty blue overalls. 'Majlis!' he calls out above the coughing engine noise, a broken-toothed grin welcoming me into the fuggy interior. And we set off, some thirty labourers on their way to enjoy a wander around Rolla and me in my blue suit, poker straight and somewhat bewildered, if the truth be told.

We drive up through a track in the darkness, finally breaking out onto the road by the RTA depot and then through Mizhar and Muhaisna. The chaps are nattering away, cheerful and buoyed by the coming weekend. Their chatter is a constant tide of shouts, laughter and tubercular coughing set against the rise and fall of the clanking engine. We hit bad traffic and a moan goes up from the bus, 'Sonapour, Sonapour,' they tut and sigh. It's as if there's nothing good ever to be got from Sonapour, the source of the traffic snarl-up.

They let me off at National Paints and I bid them a cheery, and genuinely thankful, farewell and get a taxi. The taxi driver has clearly never seen a man in a suit get off a labour bus before and it takes me a while before I can get him to listen to where I want to go.

For what it's worth, I eventually made it back down to Warqa only half an hour late.

The next day I went back in the company of pal Derek to see how we could possibly unstick the Paj. It was pretty hopeless, but some tyre letting down and tugging later, we managed to extricate ourselves both from the bowl. And then, because we could, we pootled over the blocked snicket and home to Sharjah.

It's safe to say, though, that my snicketing days are now over. I enjoyed the new experience of the Liberty Bus but honestly don't fancy making a habit of it...

End Of Snickets

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My first short-cut into Dubai from Sharjah was a wee desert track which ran through low dunes and camel camps, snaking its way down into the outskirts of the big city behind the Dubai abbatoir. These days it's called Beirut Street.

My second was a little further out, again a desert track and a fun drive each morning and night, a little dune bash to settle the mind. I've long said, if I had to sit on the Ittihad Road and that jostling, snarling line of cars I couldn't live in Sharjah. But I never have, so we've continued to embrace the joys of the Cultured Emirate. Time and progress eclipsed my second snicket, which is called the Mohammed bin Zayed Road now.

A few years ago, my current snicket was blocked by faceless forces. Well, Dubai's RTA. A running battle developed between JCBs laying an insane barrier of concrete blocks across the desert dividing Dubai and Sharjah. The Orcs were clearly intent on forcing the little band of 4WDs, who daily bumped their way over the short sandy stretch, onto the roads. For a time, to my great amusement, cars would dart around the lumbering yellow earth-movers, blocks would be pulled aside when the baddies weren't looking and we'd continue our merry way across the snicket. This went on for a while and The Man clearly gave up and left us to it.

Quite right.

But, of course, we always find a way to ruin things and word started to leak out about the snicket which slowly developed from a couple of holes in the barrier to great multi-laned super-snickets. We obviously reached Peak Snicket, because the other day, someone in authority clearly decided enough was enough. The JCBs came back in force, great fresh concrete barriers laid right the way along the border, earth-movers piled up huge sandy berms and the forces of Mordor kept at it relentlessly, quickly repairing any breaches that would appear. Their work is complete. The whole thing is now functionally impassable.

That's it. End of snicket.

And so this morning we went to school on the 611, the Emirates Road. It's a nasty, aggressive little high speed drive, the road at times seeming close to capacity and clogging slightly but it moved freely for the most part.

I was highly amused to find it took about the same time to get there as going across the snicket...

Heroes

These heroes decided to escape last night's awful traffic by taking the sandy snicket between Dubai and Sharjah. What on earth made them think that you'd get large lorries and a cement mixer across undulating, churned up desert sand is beyond me. I drove past them laughing at their idiocy and they laughed right back at me with a cheery "Fie mushkila!".

Which just goes to show, everyone's doing Ten Word Arabic these days...

The weather man says we're gonna get an inch of rain tonight and another two tomorrow, which means chaos.

Take care, all of you...

Play Nice!

OK, so it's not quite Momentary Awe, but I thought this image of a Snicketeer coming through was much nicer with a touch of equalisation - he's driving past one of two JCBs that reappeared on the snicket yesterday, clearing a wide open strip of sand to the Dubai side of the concrete barrier and reblocking the openings we've been using. The resources that the RTA is willing to put behind this strange and inexplicable action are really quite impressive.

If this were the Berlin wall, it'd be the firing zone. And, you know, it all does look increasingly ugly and Berlinesque.

I'd kept quiet about the fact that we were still getting through in the hope that the RTA would play nice and just ignore the few of us intrepid enough to take the more adventurous crossings that remained, but no, they just couldn't let it go.

So yes, we have still been getting through the snicket and yes, the spirit of desert freedom that is in the soul of the people of the UAE is still in them and they persist in taking this little drive in the sand. And some of it must have rubbed off on me, because I've been out there with them slipping through the barriers and skipping off to work with a little song in my heart at another days' little act of defiance.

And you know what? I don't think this is one they'll win, to be honest...

Dubai Sharjah Block Offical

The RTA has finally officially owned up to blocking the rush hour short cut through the desert between Sharjah and Dubai in today's Emarat Al Youm, which carries a story on the blocks.

Many of you will by now know this as 'the snicket' having read about it here. Oh! And here and here and here, too! Let alone here, here or here! In fact, I realise that I've been writing about the snicket since here back in May 2007!

Well, now they've apparently told Emarat Al Youm that they've blocked the desert because of the large volume of traffic that used the snicket. I must have missed those large volumes clogging up the roads because I never once saw the snicket causing a jam or any other disruption to the traffic until they started blocking it - apart from some tailbacks caused by some ill-considered temporary speedbumps that had been placed before the roadworks on the Dubai side which are now, in any case, complete.

According to the official quoted by EAY, they've done it for our own safety.

That's interesting, because the only explanation I had heard for the move before was some flibble about buried electrical cables.

I didn't see a single accident on the snicket until I started seeing cars that had smashed into the concrete blocks they had put just over the other side of sandy hillocks or that had torn off bumpers or caused other damage trying to get through the blocks.

But it's nice to know we're safer now, anyway...

Last Post

The Dubai Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) has, as many of you know, taken the decision to block the sand between the Western areas of Sharjah and Dubai. I have covered this pretty extensively and am aware I'm in danger of boring you. But indulge me one last time.

I suspect this is, finally, the last post about the snicket. The RTA has now taken to stationing a number of four wheel drives (I think three) along the border, calling down a JCB by radio to plug any new gap being driven in the extensive Hadrianesque earthwork and concrete block barrier that they have put up to divide the open sand stretch between the two Emirates. It's too much even for the little band of lunatics willing to negotiate the remaining, amazingly dangerous, crossing over a high dune.

I banged through a gap in the fortifications today, beeping merrily and waving at the frustrated-looking bunch from the RTA calling up their yellow monstrosity. I suspect for the last time.

It's nice they've got so much resource to devote to stopping a few intrepid 4WDs from making the crossing (which is, incidentally, impassable to 2WD traffic and actually requires a modicum of desert driving skill to negotiate) between the two Emirates.

The shortcut did not cause high levels of traffic on the roads Dubai-side, and at no time resulted in any jams or traffic congestion. It did not cause any serious traffic incidents to my knowledge or contribute to a rise in accidents or fatalities. It didn't promote speeding, bad behaviour or reckless driving.

No journalist has picked up the 'phone to the RTA and asked them why they have built a wall between the two Emirates. And so we will likely never know.

Over and out.

PS: anyone who wants the backstory can just use the search box and look for 'snicket'.

The End is Nigh

Friends.

It is with a sad heart that I address you tonight. As you well know, a small band of valiant warriors has fought an implacable enemy for many months now, an enemy with resources and power beyond our wildest dreams; resources that it is willing to throw against us in an effort to crush us out of existence. If they succeed, they will deny us the very liberty of the sands that has so long been ours to enjoy.

This unjust war has been fought with honour by our people. It is not a war we asked for, but it is a war we prosecuted with dignity and valour.

The media has studiously ignored our plight. Not one pen has been lifted in our defence or to question the motives of this enemy, invisible for so many months but now clear for all to see. They have been allowed to continue in their course, to extinguish our hopes and dreams, while the world's press stand by and shamefully pretend that nothing is happening.

They brought earth movers to shake our resolve, but we were faster, more nimble and smarter than they. They built walls to bar us from the land, tore a slash of concrete barrier across this desert country so that it was divided by an impenetrable, dark, grey wall.

But we crossed their lines time and time again, confounding their nameless purpose. We carried the torch of freedom and liberty and we prevailed.

Friends, we prevail no more. Tonight only one crossing was left open and only a pitiful handful of defenders remained. Lorries dropped lines of concrete blocks, earth movers have been toiling since the early morning to push high piles of sand against those blocks and to carve new, impassable barriers out of the very land. The very weight of the resources our enemy is prepared to expend against us bears us down so that the burden is one we can barely carry.

I fear it is nearly over. I fear I have to tell you that hope almost escapes us entirely.

But we shall fight, my fellow countrymen. We shall fight. To the absolute end, to the finish. To the last man and the last four wheel drive, we shall fight the brutal invaders of our happy shortcut.

The war of the snicket is not, will not, be over.

We shall fight to the bitter end.

Snicketeers!

25°15'57.86"N

55°29'0.01"E

Have a lovely weekend folks! I'm going home - the short way...

Snicket Watch - The Awful Truth

I had occasion to work from home this morning and so traversed the snicket at mid-day, relatively late for a meeting. But out of the corner of my eye, I caught the glint of a JCB's massive arm, raised above a section lower down the snicket before it plunged into the sand like a murderer's knife.

I hared over the soft, sandy hillocks to see, finally, who this gang of unprincipled bashi-bazouks were - the blockheads who are fighting with us all, and losing, as we try to make our daily way back and forth to work over a small sandy shortcut.

Who could it be? Who would be arrogant enough to think they could block an entire desert? Who would be daft enough to waste the enormous manpower and resources it takes to keep blocking the snicket for months on end? Who would be so implacable? Who would want to deny a few intrepid 4WD owners their little bit of relief from the hustle and jostle of the morning queues?

I stopped and asked them who they were. And they told me.

But you'll have to go to the comments for the terrible truth...

Snicket Watch 2

OK, it's a bad photo. But then my damn Nokia N73 has slowed to an unusable crawl when you try and do anything with the thing. It's EOL and going soon, BTW.

If you click on the image, you can just see the logo on the car. Yup, an RTA type trying to get through the snicket. I'm delighted to tell you that he failed - he drove past the spot to the left of the concrete barriers that was tonight's 'through' after another round of blocking today.

We're still beating 'em - UAE nationals, Brits, Indians, the lot of us. One tribe united against the unseen prats who are inefectually dumping massive piles of concrete and building up barriers across the sandy shortcuts.

A message. Lads, you can't block a desert.

We're still getting through! Yahoo!

(PS: If you're interested in the history of the snicket, just use the search bar on the blog header to look up 'snicket' - we've been winning The Battle of the Snicket for months now!)

Snicket Watch

Three new routes through the barriers open up over the past 72 hours, all three blocked by the unseen hands of evil during the day today. But some wag finds a weakness and we all get through again.

All your base are belong to us! Ha!