The Klazart Exploit

You'll have probably read my post on the 'Klazart Exploit', the gaming of Harper Collins' authonomy peer-review writers' site by Starcraft commentating YouTube uber-geek Vineet Bhalla.

If not, it's here.

The most excellent Lauri Shaw, a princess amongst women, has now interviewed Vineet about who he is, why he did it, what he thinks about it all and where he thought it would take him.

The interview's here and I do recommend it as a Web 2.0 case study, a piece of interest to anyone who has a view on authonomy or writing and as just a neat adventure story.

Cheers!

The Man Who Wasn't There

"A source said that Russian TV reported yesterday that Dubai Police had arrested Madov's killer."

So reports Gulf News today, a statement that, for me, shows neatly how reporting of the Jumeirah Beach Residence shooting has descended into something of a fiasco.

I'd quote yesterday's Reuters file that claimed the man wasn't dead, but it's been updated now - one danger of t'Internet being that when someone goofs, even someone as trusted and respected as Reuters, they can correct it instantly. Reuters now has a file stating that the dead man is Chechen army officer Sulim Yamadayev and another saying that the Russian Consul has confirmed his identity but hasn't seen a passport.

Gulf News yesterday reported that the dead man was called Sulaiman Madov. And today's front page story (the source of that marvellous quote above) continues in that assertion, based on the discovery of Madov's passport on the body by Dubai police. However, GN illustrates its story with pictures of Yamadayev and does refer to 'some media reports' that have identified the man as Yamadayev.

You can tell that GN is caught between a rock and a hard place, having to go with the 'official' identity Madov while (I guess) firmly believing the widespread media reports that Madov was actually Yamadayev. It must have been frustrating for their journalists.

KT's report, meanwhile, says that a Dubai Police spokesperson had confirmed there had 'been an error' about the Madov identity - KT goes with Yamadayev and includes some good background, including a game attempt to get the Austrian embassy to confirm that Yamadayev had been on a Chechen exiles 'death list' that the Austrian government had previously talked about.

The National, which was always firmly in the Yamadayev camp, was able today to feature a good background piece on Yamadayev. The strength of the journalism here is quite apparent - free to go with its own sources and tie together the different streams of information (embassies, wire reports, eye witnesses and so on), The National made up its own mind about the identity of the man and had more time to play with, which meant that it was able to focus on the 'back story' and produce a stronger and more emphatic piece today that focused not only on the facts of the killing, but the complex and often violent background to it.

I'm left with the feeling that yesterday was a race against the clock to try and find out what on earth was happening, a day of speculation and guesswork, intransigent 'official' sources and frustration. It must have been frenetic. But I do think The National came out on top because of its journalism and its ability to practice that journalism without worrying about contradicting an official source and having to wait until the 'error' was made official.

With the recent news that government ministries will have an 'official spokesperson', there is room for some doubt whether that will remain the case in the future.

One can only hope that it will.

Scoundrel

A second weather post in a week! What a scoundrel!

I'm a sucker for reminiscences about the Middle East - there are some great stories told by the people that were here throughout the breakneck and often scary period of change that has transformed this part of the world over the past century.

Some of my favourite pieces of recent history come from the people that have lived and worked in the Gulf over the past 30 years or so - not just expatriates, either - although expat rememberences appear to be easier to access. BTW, Khalid Kanoo's book about his own life in Bahrain is a fascinating read.

So I really enjoyed this piece in The National by Clive Stevens (I'd have missed it but for a link left on a comment to my recent weather-man spanking weather post: commenter The Wiley Weatherman claims Clive's the nicest man in aviation, and let us grant that, but I still think they goofed the forecasts over this week.), a forecaster at the Dubai Met Office, which talks about the wacky weather he's seen over the years. Clive's short memoir is well worth a read.

In case you're interested in these kinds of things, I do heartily recommend a visit to Len Chapman's excellent Dubai as it used to be site, which has lovingly archived rememberences, images and other paraphenalia gathered from the many people who have lived and worked here over the years.

And finally, just to finish off my most rambling and shambolic ever post (cue for some bright spark to try and find a worse one, but you won't), here's a link to an amazing picture, the image of the week for me. Sure the lightning piccies in Gulf News (down to 450g today, BTW) are pretty enough, but Catalin Marin's stormy HDR Burj Al Arab image is a stunner. It's here over at Momentary Awe.

How smart are you?

How smart are you?

An idle click on a new Twitter follower message as I contemplated the second coffee of the morning led me to this Tweet:

"We launched the project site http://www.smartpeople.ae this is going to be revolutionary!"

There was something familiar about this. Maybe it was the over-excited tone, maybe the the lack of punctuation. Maybe the over-promising - 'this is going to be revolutionary'?

Really?

And then we have the Twitter ID - 'Albert Edison'. I smell ad agency.

The site's borderline slick, copywriter schtick with smart graphical treatment, some neat ideas, a Twitter feed and even a link to 'Our Facebook Page' that doesn't work. And yes, it's an 'integrated social media campaign' from someone. Ths is undoubtedly a company and a site driven by an ad agency - the 'feel' is unmistakeable.

But who?

You see, the first problem with this whole thing is that you need to be UPFRONT if you're a company using Twitter and other social media. There's no point in being coy - and you're just going to annoy people if you hide your identity and purpose.

And that's precisely what UAE telco Du has done with this campaign. 'About us' on the website doesn't say, 'Hi, we're du and this is our new campaign site'. In fact, nowhere on the site says 'Hi, we're du and this is our new campaign site'.

So no, I didn't think your idea was smart - I was mildly annoyed that you'd wasted my time and misrepresented yourselves to me, actually - and that you're crashing around 'social media' having learned none of the lessons of Wal-Mart et al.

Wise up, people.

THIS IS NOT A ONE WAY COMMUNICATION ANY MORE!

Update. The Facebook page is now working.

Just in case anyone out there doesn't know this, you can look up any UAE registered (any .ae domain) website and find out who owns it by using the UAE NIC WHOIS tool.

You can do the same with .com sites by using whois.com.

AdWomen

Austyn Allison is the editor of Middle East advertising and marketing magazine Communicate and he's looking distinctly nervous, beads of sweat breaking out on his upper lip as his shifty eyes cast around the white-walled warehouse. Those walls are decorated with insane pieces of highly complex black and white spirograph-inspired artwork, the sparse floor littered with industrial grade cream beanbags. Dotted around the room are groups of women, new entrants slowly building up to a crowd and Allison and I have clustered together for safety, a cocktail table between us and most of the attendees to the first ever 'TrendTalks' event held by Dubai's newly founded AdWomen group.

There are brightly coloured cupcakes and pizza at hand, a welcome diversion. I'm the first speaker, I've got 25 minutes on Social Media but everyone's on the cake course. There's a growing wind outside, a sandstorm that makes everyone a little nervous and I catch the outbreak of laughter as a gust batters the steel walls of the warehouse.

The sound of female laughter. I start to sweat.

Allison's laughing nastily under his breath as the group's numbers swell and it's clear that I'll be talking to well over 50 highly intelligent, creative, capable and empowered women. He's snarfing vegetarian pizza as fast as he can - in case the scene turns ugly and he has to bolt, I know it. He knows what's going down - I'll get it wrong, stumble and they'll be on me, tearing into me like a pack of ravenous terriers. He's glancing around now, his nervous, calculating journalist's eyes darting between seemingly happy groups of women. It's too friendly here, too collegiate. We know it can become twisted and boil up into a paranoid, howling frenzy on a moment and Allison is giggling under his breath like Beavis and Butthead at the prospect of me going down.

And then it's time, organiser Preethi introducing me as 'prolific', I take the microphone in a sweaty hand - I can't believe she called me a media slut in front of these women, we all know what 'prolific' means. Maybe they missed it - I scan the room quickly, trying to take the temperature of the place. They're all over the room, sitting encased in beanbags, standing at cocktail tables.

Allison's at the back of the room: I can just see him, wearing a fixed, cheesy smile. He's got a camera, the bastard! He's going to catch it, my moment of undoing and the rage of the pack. His smile turns evil and the shadows catch his conniving head, horns seeming to spring up on his temples.

I'm talking now, too fast, the slideset boring me and irrelevant-seeming, even as I bring up the colourful foils. Ohmigod, I can't believe I started the story of the Internet at monastic scriptoria, it's too disconnected, too geeky. I'm away, scanning nervously for the frowns and raised hands that'll start the feeding frenzy but they're listening politely and I find that scaring me even more. They're giving my half-thoughts and mad reminscences consideration and I know this is the wrong thing to do.

And then the hail comes from the skies far above us, a sudden swelling of tiny battering rams, dinning down on the iron roof of The JamJar, the volume cranking up impossibly, drowning me out in a sound like mocking applause, ice smashing out of the sky to explode on the bouncing steel plates, the noise echoing around the warehouse like evil laughter.

I stop talking, deafened by the hail. People are getting up, milling around wondering how we can ever go on with the evening - so many people have invested so much in this, to bring it all together. And then it happens: one of the audience comes up to me, her finger outstretched and her voice loud.

"It's your fault! If you hadn't gone on about the weather in your damn blog, this would never have happened!"

I gasp a denial, but it's too late. They hear her and others take up the cry: 'Blogger! Blogger!'

Allison's taking photos as they start to advance on me, I turn to him for help but the swine's got the soul of a journalist - all he wants is his damn photos to stand up his story. As long as they're focused on me he's safe and I know he's going to skitter out of the fire exit like the journo rat he is as soon as he's got enough of a story for his damn rag.

I'm cornered now and they're onto me. I feel the first nails tearing into my flesh as they crowd around, reaching out to take their revenge. I go down, blackness reaching up to me as I reach for sobbing, gasping breaths.

My last memory was of a striking, red-headed lady in a black dress who looked remarkably like Tori Amos saying she enjoyed my Campaign column. That' s when I finally knew it was all a dream...

Where in the World is the Weather?

Yeah, I know. Blogging about the weather is as low as you can go. Bite me.

Forecasters told us that Dubai would be foggy yesterday morning (UK Met Office) followed by showers yesterday afternoon and evening. And then the real bad weather would kick in - thundery stormy things through to the weekend.

The radio news has been telling us for the past two days that massive enormous huge black gnarly snarly storms would envelop the UAE from yesterday and that we'd better start building arks if we knew what was good for us.

Dubai Eye Radio's delightful @Kimboid was heard this very morning prophesying doom, gloom and weather fronts that'd have you reaching for your galoshes like a passenger on the Titanic hearing a shout of 'Ice!'. 92 FM's Catboy has been more like Chicken Licken Boy, Tweeting of imminent weather that'd make A Perfect Storm look like Picnic on Hanging Rock.

It's 9.15am and it is sunny. The sky is blue. The birds, I swear, are singing.

Sack the weathermen, I say. Sack 'em all. Their job is easy - 363 days a year, 'tomorrow will be sunny and fine in Dubai'. 2 days a year 'a risk of some light showers'.

Klazart and Authonomy - Update

Harper Collins Publishers today published a statement on its authonomy book-review website concerning Vineet Bhalla ('Klazart') and the great voting debacle.

"48 hours ago none of us had heard of Starcraft. That was before Klazart posted his book on the site and started to invite support from the Starcraft community. His efforts were spectacularly successful and he has reaped the rewards of these newcomers’ support. We do not consider his actions to be breaching any site rules and his book will not be removed by us."

The statement goes on to say:

"We are willing to admit that the recent events have shown up real flaws in the algorithm behind the talent-spotter ranking. Some excellent suggestions have already been made and we’ll be considering these."

A number of writers have already left the site - a vast number have stayed but are grumbling away on the forums.

Meanwhile, the book's number 6 on authonomy with over 1200 votes. Some 2,000 new users joined the site over the weekend and have yet to vote for anything.

Is this most controversial of books any good? Will it get anywhere? See for yourself: it's here. What do YOU think?

Having a Chat

"The Conversation" is a blog that is developing quite nicely, thank you very much. It's an interesting read: two smart young Arab women, one based in London and one based in Dubai, just talking about the stuff that comes to mind, that engages them and happens around them.

I don't just like it because they're both friends but because it's an interesting read - a combination of opinions that spans the world and from two people whose common experience, culture, language and friendship ties them together as it finds them apart.

It's also interesting because both have native language English skills (I like to think enriched by some of my own additions to the old vocab) - Sarsour in particular suffering somewhat at the hands of her British colleagues as she works in London: “I would die if I thought you were correcting my English, I mean... You’re a foreigner!”

So this is a plug for that blog. It's here - do have a read and let me know what you think!

Gamers Break Authonomy

It's a remarkable old world, chaps and chapesses. Really.

Many of you will be all too familiar with my involvement in Harper Collins Publishers' authonomy, the peer-review writers' site that involves thousands of writers clambering up a greasy pole to get their work in front of an HC editor for review. Every month the top 5 books, voted by the 'community' get reviewed by an HC editor (or janitor, we can't quite be sure which sometimes). To date not one top 5 book has moved beyond a read and crit, apart from a suspected 'token full read' given to my mate Simon Forward. The crits have been of variable quality, that afforded my own first book, Space, a good example IMHO of the WTF quality of some of the crits that HC hands out.

(If you would like to read some quality stuff, try my second book Olives, BTW. I ain't 'plugging' that one, though - it's a serious book about the Middle East, while Space was a comedy about chickens and stuff.)

But that hasn't stopped thousands of new writers from posting their work up there and trying to climb that self-same slippery pole. It's hard, folks - you have to chivvy people to go and read your book by participating on the forums, plugging the book and generally shouting a lot. And then they have to like it enough to vote for it - vote enough times for it to beat out everyone else and rise to the top of the begrudging souffle that is the online slushpile. You need hundreds of votes.

But, rather brilliantly, uber-gamer Vineet Bhalla, 'Klazart' to his mates, posted a YouTube video urging fellow gamers to pop over to authonomy, log in and vote for his book. (It's here...)

In a marvellous demonstration of the sheer power of social media, hundreds of gaming fans (possibly thousands) have done just that - garnering Vineet's book over 700 votes in the past 48 hours and launching it up the authonomy charts by some 3,000 places to its current 17 - and rising.

The howls from the authonomy 'community' of writers, bilked by the brash 'gamers' who've suddenly appeared on the site, have been wonderous indeed - suddenly the place has come alive again and started to pop and splutter with action and life - from apopleptic authors ranting pompously about cheats and darn gamers to gamer punks telling them all to piss off as they scrawl on the walls and pour beer on the carpets. The gamers have a point - the authonomy 'rules' make it clear you're welcome to invite friends and family. HC can't have imagined that 'family' could include over 8,000 gaming fans who follow a popular gamer's YouTube space!

Authonomy's forums, which had settled down to a rather sedentary and boring repetition of every topic, from how you deal with POV (Point of View. If you don't know, don't bother. It's not critical to your life, believe me) to whether book titles that contain leopard testicles are saleable in today's market, have suddenly come alive and thrill to the sound of argument, contention and challenge - battle, even.

It's great. It's like an invasion of anarchists at an old people's home. Any half-decent anthropologist would get a thesis and at least two bacon sandwiches out of this lot.

But the influx of new voices has been too much for the site - authonomy has gone down, baby, a mere few thousand new readers has been enough to smack the servers for six and deny access to many, the site's up and down like a tart's knicks. (Well, it is Sunday and sysadmin Rik will be down the pub sinking a few nutty browns before dragging his weary arse into the laughter factory tomorrow morning.)

Meanwhile, I do heartily recommend nipping over and taking a look at the writers vs gamers debate - it takes me back to the late 1970s and, for me, that was a good time.

Oh what larks, Pip!

Enough!

Image by el7bara via the banned website Flickr thanks to the wonder that is RSS...

The Guardian's been at it again. This time it's Simon "I saw the place two years ago through a plane window" Jenkins who has followed in a long and honourable line of Guardian writers who have lined up to give Lalaland an almost weekly kicking.

Simon's article, however, beats even Germainipops' whine for its inaccuracy and sheer noodle-headedness. He slags off Dubai for being super-planned, architect-designed and "bailed out by Bahrain and Dohar" (sic) among other things. As usual for The Guardian on Dubai, the article is so packed with untruth and unsustainable assertion that it simply does not stand up as a piece of professional writing.

It's amazing to me that one of the UK's leading and most respected quality newspapers continues to publish completely inaccurate rubbish about Dubai from people with no qualification whatsoever to be writing about the place - and I'd include actually visiting Dubai and speaking to some people here as qualification.

But the rubbish is popping up everywhere - not just The Guardian - to the extent where I'm finding myself, to my immense surprise, coming out of the Dubai corner boxing FOR the city.

I never thought that would happen!

Like many other residents who have commented on these articles, I've had enough, really. There are now so many articles packed with so much rubbish, from so many writers who have spent so little time here that you start to question whether you were right to believe in journalism in the first place.

Germaine did her research from a tour bus. Simon talks about looking out of a plane window. But the Sydney Morning Herald's Elizabeth Farrelly goes one better, starting her piece with the immortal words, "For longer than I can remember - six months at least - I've wanted to write on Dubai as a ruin. Not that I've been there..."

She goes on: "Dubai, the oilless emirate, was conceived as the business end of Abu Dhabi's more oleaginous cultural empire."

You don't have to believe me when I tell you that her article goes downhill from there - you can go and read it for yourself. I bet it makes you angry. And yet it's merely symptomatic of a whole outbreak of similar pieces, written by people that have never even visited the place they're so eager to vilify, never walked on the streets they accuse of being filled with prosecco swilling expats dazed with the crash around them.

Another excellent example of the genre is here, featuring yet another marvellous line: "So last week I spent an entire day reading newspaper articles and travel guides about Dubai and am now much better informed..."

There's plenty to accuse Dubai of - many of us posting to blogs here have had more than a few swipes at a whole range of issues. And there are plenty more, for sure.

But enough of this uninformed rubbish, really!

A Small Personal Hell

Image by Dave Delaney via Flickr

For a couple of weeks now, I have been getting the same joke appearing with increasing frequency in my 'Tweet Deck'.

Tweet Deck is a really cool application that lets you monitor several Twitter conversations or 'feeds' - you can search for, say, your company name and then you'll see any Tweet that mentions your company. It's pretty useful for taking a look at the conversation, both looking out for topics that engage you as well as for professional reasons such as reacting to customers or other stakeholders in your company/client company.

For what it's worth, many people I knew that could make no sense whatsoever of Twitter found that it all suddenly made sense when they used Tweet Deck.

But this damn joke was missing me. Every time I read it, I got more and more worried about my lack of a sense of humour. I just couldn't for the life of me see it. I know I'm dense, but that dense, really?

A couple of days ago I told someone about the joke that made no sense - and as I said it out loud, the clouds lifted and sunshine enveloped me. At last, I understood. But it's the most crap joke in the world and, because I have a Twitter feed set up for the UAE OR Dubai OR Abu Dhabi, every time anyone anywhere in the world tells this awful (and increasingly popular) joke on Twitter, I get to see it again. And again. And again...

Don't mention the Flintstones in the United Arab Emirates. Apparently those in Dubai dont get it, but those in Abu Dhabi do!!

It's like a small personal hell...

Relaxing the 30 Day Rule - Good and Bad?

It's funny how two journalists can listen to the same speech or panel session and get two completely different takes on what went down. I guess you'd put it down to 'finding the angle'.

Gulf News listened to Dubai's Department of Economic Development chief economist Raed Safadi and came away with a story that Dubai's strategic plan is under review and that 'Everything has been put on the table, the stimulus package and policies - with one aim, to safeguard jobs."

Nice.

The Kipp Report came out of the session with 'Dubai Government 'may' review 30 day cancellation policy'. They also quote Safadi as saying that everything is on the table, but add him saying 'nothing is taboo.'

If the 30 day rule is eased, a lot of people will breathe a significant sigh of relief and a great deal of experience and knowledge of this region could potentially be retained. A great deal of misery would be avoided for thousands of families.

Of course in this post-Klondike era the yahoo financial services types, the vendors of quack remedies, card sharps, good-time girls and real estate sharks would also get to stay on for longer, too.

But you can't have everything...

New Rules for a Decent Dubai?

Image via Wikipedia

Saturday's edition of the Dubai-owned Arabic language daily Emarat Al Youm carried on its front page a piece of news that, strangely, other newspapers didn't rush to file - although The National and Kipp have it today and AFP filed on it. I can't find it in 7Days, GN or KT. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

Below is an informal translation of the key elements of that article. Any errors in translation are regretted and will be corrected as soon as advised.

According to Emarat Al Youm, a new set of decency guidelines has been promulgated by the Dubai Executive Council and, according to the paper, these have been shared with government and private sector organisations.

• People are requested to respect the history, culture and traditions of the United Arab Emirates and to avoid improper behaviour in Dubai.
• Residents are asked to show respect to the authorities, flag and national emblems of the UAE, including its rulers. Insulting these is considered a punishable crime.
• Appropriate, modest, dress should be worn in public - particularly in government offices and public areas. Trousers and skirts should be of proper length and not reveal the body improperly. This includes not wearing 'bad' logos or photographs on t-shirts etc that could be seen as offensive to any element of society.
• Beachware should be appropriate and worn at the beach only. Nudity is absolutely prohibited and is punishable by law.
  
• Public displays of affection should be appropriate. Only a husband and wife can hold hands in public. No kissing or other displays of affection such as hugging in public are permitted. Sexual harassment and the making of sexual overtures to women are not permitted.
• The taking of drugs and alcohol are prohibited in Islam. Because of the diversity of society in Dubai, the taking of alcohol is permitted. However, anyone caught under the influence of alcohol outside of places where the sale and consumption of alcohol is permitted are subject to fines or imprisonment. Medicines that contain drugs not allowed legally in the UAE should not be taken.
• Drink driving will not be tolerated.
• Drivers are obligated to wear seatbelts, ensure children sit on the back seat, not use mobile phones when driving, give way to civil defence personnel, not slow to watch accidents and park only in designated areas.
• Smoking is not permitted in government offices or shopping malls by law.
• People are asked to refrain from playing loud music in public places such as parks, beaches and residential areas. Dancing and music are permitted in licensed venues.
• Music should not be played in public places or cars near mosques, particularly during the Azan (call to prayer). Smoking, eating and drinking in public are not permitted during Ramadan.
• The holding of any religious activity in public, whether Islamic or otherwise, should only take place with appropriate permissions.
• Recognising people's need to co-exist in peace, giving offense with insulting and aggressive gestures are subject to punishment by fine and jail. The guidelines ask for priority to be given to the elderly, pregnant women and people with special needs. People are also asked to avoid loud conversations, laughter or whistling in public.
• The guidelines do specify that spreading malicious rumours that can harm the public good will be punishable by law.
• People should take care in taking photographs and taking photographs of families and women in Dubai is not pemitted.

The above guidelines, in my personal view, are a welcome clarification, for visitors and residents alike, of what is and is not appropriate behaviour in the UAE. Ever since I first came to this country in the 1980s, I have been aware of the above, as have many people who have lived here for some time.

This is nothing new, people. It has always been this way in the UAE. All of it, including the holding hands thing.

It's good that now, better late than never, it's down in black and white and people can be quite sure of where they stand. But let us be very clear this is a restatement of what has always been the case here. It's not a 'new crackdown' or a new 'tightening' or any other such tosh. It's the way things are and always have been here. Just because people have got into the habit of disrespecting those norms does not mean that reaffirming them is any form of restriction or clampdown.

And if you don't like it, yes, you do know what to do!!! :)

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Sentenced

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Iraqi journalist Muntadhar Al Zeidi has been sentenced to three years in prison for throwing his shoes at former US President George W. Bush ('Thickie' to his friends), reports Associated Press.

Al Zeidi pled innocent: "What I did was a natural response to the occupation," he said.

He could have been sentenced to up to 15 years, so some have talked of leniency. Others point out that many of us would pay good money to a) have done it ourselves b) see it done again or c) have a range of other objects thrown at Thickie.

Anyway, Spot On PR is hosting a poll on the affair and so you can goto this link here and vote on whether you think the sentence is barking or not.

Have a lovely weekend!

International Anti-Cybercensorship Day

12 mars - Journée mondiale contre la cybercensure
Uploaded by rsf_internet

Today, the 12th March, is International Anti-Cybercensorship day.

Dubai Sharjah Block Offical

The RTA has finally officially owned up to blocking the rush hour short cut through the desert between Sharjah and Dubai in today's Emarat Al Youm, which carries a story on the blocks.

Many of you will by now know this as 'the snicket' having read about it here. Oh! And here and here and here, too! Let alone here, here or here! In fact, I realise that I've been writing about the snicket since here back in May 2007!

Well, now they've apparently told Emarat Al Youm that they've blocked the desert because of the large volume of traffic that used the snicket. I must have missed those large volumes clogging up the roads because I never once saw the snicket causing a jam or any other disruption to the traffic until they started blocking it - apart from some tailbacks caused by some ill-considered temporary speedbumps that had been placed before the roadworks on the Dubai side which are now, in any case, complete.

According to the official quoted by EAY, they've done it for our own safety.

That's interesting, because the only explanation I had heard for the move before was some flibble about buried electrical cables.

I didn't see a single accident on the snicket until I started seeing cars that had smashed into the concrete blocks they had put just over the other side of sandy hillocks or that had torn off bumpers or caused other damage trying to get through the blocks.

But it's nice to know we're safer now, anyway...

UAE Government Appoints Spokespeople

Image via Wikipedia

According to a front page story in The National today, the Federal government has moved to introduce a system whereby Federal government Ministries can have official spokespeople empowered to talk on the record to media on behalf of each Ministry and its officials.

The move received what appeared to be a cautious welcome from the UAE Journalists' Association. The new spokespeople would be "The only sources of information according to their roles and responsibilities", The National quotes Najla Al Awar, Secretary General of the Cabinet. However, she goes on to tell the paper, "Information collected through others at the governmental bodies shall not be considered as valid and authorised information."

So while the move would facilitate journalists' access to a responsible spokesperson, it would also appear to limit media to reporting only facts confirmed or released by that responsible spokesperson.

You tell me which is better...

Spam

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

The Fat Expat got hit by a content spammer today. Content spam is a constant annoyance for blog owners: if you choose not to use comment certification (all that entering 'buisfnark' from the picture before your comment is accepted), you have to tidy up after the jerks every now and then. It's an annoyance - particularly as they dump rubbish like commercials for property on recipes for fillet steak in red wine sauce.

To my delight, today's comment spammer was dork enough to have registered the website in his own daft name. A quick WHOIS database lookup tells us that his property website is registered to:

Florin Campulungeanu (gagiu@eim.ae)
971504785426
Fax:
Al Barsha
Dubai, 29948
AE

So, having his mobile number I called him up and let him know what I think of him, his website and his content spam. He claimed it wasn't his site. I pointed out that he was the administrator and the registrant and therefore liable for anything that happened in his name on that site. He said he'd just done a favour for a friend. I told him he was either remarkably naive or lying, but that I tended to drop down the slope towards the latter.

And then I posted a complaint with his contacts on The Fat Expat, the UAE Community Blog and this blog. I also put in a block request to Etisalat, which was pure badness on my part, but let's see what happens. The Etisalat complaint reference is 3712281.

I do hate spammers. But there's only one thing worse than a spammer - a dumb spammer. And you have to be pretty dumb to qualify!

Do, if you agree with me on the subject of spam, feel free to give Florin a call. His mobile's probably off by now, but you can always send him an email...

(Oh! Sorry to have put your full email address on this! gagiu@eim.ae wasn't it? Have fun, bots...)

YouTube Ban in UAE 'on Anvil'?

Dubai's Chief of Police has called for YouTube to be banned in the UAE.

The news, broken yesterday by Arabic language daily Emarat Al Youm, is carried on the front page of today's Khaleej Times.

We would be following the exalted example of two of the world's most successful states, Pakistan and Bangladesh if we went for a ban. As KT reports, Bangladesh blocked YouTube last Sunday, Pakistan in February last year.

Lt Gen. Dhahi Khalfan Tamim was talking to the general assembly of the Juveniles Education and Care Association when he apparently said that YouTube contained content that 'sparked dissension'. He is reported as saying to Emarat Al Youm that 'publishing pornography and defamation is not freedom.'

Blocking YouTube will further deny Emirati, and other, youth here of the opportunity to embrace a range of technologies and changes in social behaviour that are revolutionising the world around us.

That we are even contemplating blocking sites that contain content we don't like is a deep concern - the trick is engaging in a conversation, taking part in the interplay of ideas and opinion that is driving the Internet - and the flow of public opinion around the world today.

The Kipp Report filed a piece yesterday about Dubai briefing top London PR agencies to try and find out why international media coverage was quite so excoriating - and about what to do to try and combat the outbreak of bad news and negative opinion. (It quotes a certain mouthy PR, sorry about that)

Reports like this are unlikely to to help - wait until this one gets out and online.

No matter how many 'feel good' spin doctors you consult, no matter how many yummy stories they put out, this has gone beyond conventional media. The debate, the coverage, the opinion that's driving the negative sentiment isn't on dead trees - it's in electrons. It's online communities and commentators that are spreading the word, sharing the links, adding to the debate and driving the howls of 'Die Dubai'!

That's the choice ahead of Dubai and the UAE - be part of the conversation online - embrace it, open it up, encourage it and educate your people so that they can join in with it. Or be a disempowered, dumb whipping boy.

I can hear the crack of leather already.

Books and Social Media

Some of you will know Dan Holloway, responsible for one of my favourite books on authonomy, Songs From The Other Side Of The Wall.

Dan's something of an intellect and given to visions of revolution. A talented, intellectual revolutionary is something of a rarity these days, I think you'd probably agree. Like many of us, confronted with the banal realities of modern publishing, Dan's been exploring alternatives and some of them may well start to define what we have been discussing (particularly over here at Lauri Shaw's blog) - the future of publishing.

Where Dan's particularly interesting is how he's experimenting with mulitiple media platforms - the book as a multi-threaded, collaborative experience rather than as a static, engraved achievement.

While Lauri has been making her most excellent book, Servicing The Pole, available for download a chapter at a time. Dan's gone further in that he is not only giving away his newest book, The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes, away on Facebook a chapter at a time, but is also allowing readers to contribute to the development of the plot. The novel itself dissects the real and unreal stories behind the creation of an iconic image.

So let's do some Dan-speak:

So, why? Literary anarchy or marketing gimmick?
In all honesty both. I have just finished editing my previous book, Songs from the Other Side of the Wall, which I expect to self-publish this summer. I spent a lot of time talking to people about how to market it, and the whole loss leader thing came up. On the other hand, the potential of the internet for bending fiction out of shape fascinates me. The web’s full of people trying to publish their novels in a new medium. There’s not many people trying to do something new. I’ve always loved the interplay between artist and audience you get in installation art – Sam Taylor Wood going to sleep in a glass box; Gilbert and George – well, being Gilbert and George. For me culture of any form is a process, it’s an interplay. The novel’s lost that. The internet gives us a chance to get it back – that immediacy and connection.

Have you found the process different from writing your previous books?
I’ve had two real revelations. The first is the way the novel itself relates to the virtual world I’ve built around it. Part of the site is devoted to news reports, snippets of biography, little teasers – these form a world in which the novel takes place. What that means is there’s a whole load of back story I just don’t need to put into the novel – it’s much leaner because so much is already known – or can be referenced elsewhere in the site. I can get on with the story – it’s funny. I’ve talked a lot in the past about how I hate the western novel’s slavery to story. I thought this would break that barrier. It’s actually ended up taking story to its tight logical conclusion. The second point is the way the two parts of the novel relate. There’s a lot of social commentary, political satire, stuff about art and celebrity. But there’s also a personal story – a man whose daughter went missing ten years ago. He’s on a journey both to find the real story behind this iconic image of a dead woman but to find his missing daughter, and to understand why some people are remembered forever while others are forgotten. Because the rest of the site has set the political tone, I don’t have to balance the two parts as I write – I can spend the early chapters drawing us right into the personal story that will keep the reader with me – and I don’t have to worry readers will think I’ve lost sight of the other angle.

So how far does the interactivity go?
Well there’s commentary – like you get on a DVD, podcasts, real time editing so people can see me changing my mind. Then there’s events – this is about an image – so I’m holding a contest to design the image – people can enter online or by flashmob – hand me their entry at the café in Waterstone’s Piccadilly 11am on April 21st.

It seems like you’ve approached this in a very calculated way. Is your heart really in the book itself?
At first I told myself it was but I may have been kidding myself. This started as an experiment. But because I’ve gone straight to the emotional heart, it’s actually become the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It feels like I’m baring my soul every day. I just love some of the characters. And they all go to some very dark places. And all of it without a break, with the constant pressure of a deadline, and only an hour a day actually to write in. It feels like I’m putting myself through a very public wringer.

Isn’t the whole thing a bit, well, mad?
Well, I don’t believe in clinical. I don’t get people who bury themselves in their study and won’t show anyone what they’ve done. If your art isn’t a two way thing it’s not art. It might be therapy, but it’s not art. Art makes you vulnerable, puts you on the line. It’s raw. Or it’s dead. Er... Like a shark in formaldehyde :)

So how do we keep up with the project?
You can go to the group The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes on Facebook. I’m also Twittering all my updates there – you can follow the agnieszkasshoes Twitter. And if you get lost just steer from my website.

What next?
A break? In a month or so one of my writing groups, The Bookshed, is bringing out an anthology, Short Fuses – an incredible collection of cutting edge shorts. This autumn sees the release of the first set of books from Year Zero Publishing, a hugely exciting, edgy collective of writers I’m part of – and which you, Mr McNabb, are also playing with.

I’m expecting Songs from the Other Side of the wall to be one of the first Year Zero issues. Next year’s book will either be a body-swap I’ve been working on (a Chinese girl who’s an only child and a Polish boy who’s an identical twin), or a book I’ve always wanted to right about an affair between a 50 year old woman and her 18 year-old student. Either way I’ll always keep up the book a year. If you can’t wait for any of that, you can read one of my shorts, Coastlines, about a Spanish civil servant’s affair with a Chinese businesswoman, in the anthology “Great Short Stories from Youwriteon.com Writers”, which is available from Amazon.

Lightweight

Image via Wikipedia

Look, I'm really sorry. Gulf News has been a constant companion to me for the past fifteen years and I regard this most hallowed of newspapers with great affection. The recent spate of GN-unfriendly blog posts is purely coincidence and certainly doesn't signal an outbreak of anti-GN sentiment.

But I picked up today's issue and it felt so light that I had to go back to my newspaper weighing habits. It weighed in at 470g, a new low for the newspaper that tipped the scales at a whopping 1.3 kilos last November, pre-crunch.

I stopped weighing it last week after it had settled down to a steady 670g on most days.

Drub That Sub!

Gulf News' sub-editors are having a bad week. After yesterday's awful front page headline, today they've managed a nice, 48 point bold literal.

Dr. Shaikh Sultan Al Qassimi Sultan gets Hamdam award for academic excellence

No he doesn't. He gets Hamdan award, named for HH Sheikh Hamdan bin Rashid Al Maktoum.

It's online, too. Here.

Oddly enough, I sympathise. I once caused the word Midddle East to be typeset in 96 point text across a double page spread in a book I published in a former life. It took a year before anyone noticed.

I have always blamed a variant on Douglas Adams' SEP Field. The SEP or Somebody Else's Problem Field is an invisibility cloak that uses incongruity, for instance a spaceship that looks like an Italian bistro. The disconnect is so overwhelming that it causes brain skitter and is ignored as somebody else's problem, so rendering the cloaked object invisible.

The same is true of literals. Especially in headlines.

(Wow. I'm not going to be GN's 'weekly blog pick' this week, am I?)

Goof

Image via Wikipedia

Image via WikipediaThe changes that ‘new’ media approaches are bringing to the way in which we browse, consume and are affected by information are fundamental. And most of those changes are being brought by the process known as disintermediation – the idea being that any intermediary is now potentially out of a job. Gone are gatekeepers – and nowhere is this more true than in our ‘traditional’ media.

Take a newspaper as an example. Yesterday’s model was that an event was reported on by a journalist, perhaps commented on by a columnist. The participants in the event were certainly not expected to actually commentate on it. Just comment, if the journalist or TV crew picked on them. The letters page was pretty much the only way Joe Public got ‘voice’ and even that was guarded by the letters page editor. And similarly broadcast media such as radio, where DJ’s talk to us and where feedback was limited to carefully regulated, breathless, gushing teenagers requesting tracks for their friends (it wouldn’t do for them to be asking for Rammstein or Ministry during a drive-time slot, for instance) or perhaps to angry of Bur Dubai calling into the midnight talk show.

Now newspapers put their pieces online and public voice gets to comment on those pieces. What’s more, the success of a given piece of writing is not longer judged because it reached the readership of a single slice of tree, but on how much it is commented on, linked, referenced by blogs, Tweeted, Digged, tagged or shared in a myriad new ways across myriad content streams.

Those links, the food of the new media leviathans, bring prominence, SEO and clicks. Similarly in radio, DJs (and other celebrities) are beginning to find that connecting with their audience using ‘social media’ adds another, growing dimension to the business of broadcasting. Those willing to give up the gatekeepers, or the gatekeeper role, are finding themselves part of a wider and more engaging dialogue that enhances their reputations and audiences.

In other words, today’s media depend on the feedback and discourse of an actively engaged readership. The reader is a participant, is increasingly a central part of a dialogue that makes journalists, writers and broadcasters answerable and publicly accountable in ways that no media law can.

In short, you goof, you get trashed...


This piece originally appeared as one of the chucklesomely named 'A Moment with McNabb' columns in Campaign Middle East magazine.

Gulf News Stumped

Who took the decision at Gulf News to run today's front page headline?

'Lahore attack stumps world' must rank as one of the worst headlines I have ever seen.

Surely even the most feckless intern would balk at cracking a cheap gag at the attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team in Pakistan yesterday? It's not even a great gag. It's a crap gag, playing on 'stumps' as in cricket stumps and 'stumps' as in Billy stumped me with his question

I'd rather have seen 'stuns' - not perhaps the most original headline in the world, but certainly one that would have accurately reflected public sentiment - but GN's sub preferred to be clever-clever. And crass.

It's not as if the story then goes on to show how the world was 'stumped' by the attack. The story clearly shows the world has immediately and strongly condemned the attack.

Decorated with a bloody picture of a dead commando, one of the seven Pakistani commandoes who died protecting the Sri Lankan team, the weak joke is an unjustifiable lapse in taste and common sense. On the front page of a national daily newspaper.

What were they thinking?

(Postscript: Have removed the original link to the headline as they link to the current day's front page rather than preserving the link to the day you originally linked to. Cheers Gianni!)

The Last Minute Dick

Image by

http://www.prestonlee.com/archives/67

via CrunchBase

Pal Carrington shared this post from Seth Godin's blog. Just in case you don't know him (cue screams of 'don't know him? Don't know him?' from the neologists and social media gurus out there), Seth Godin is a frequent, respected and much followed commentator on social media, marketing and suchlike. He's a big, major league US business guru.

In fact, there's something of a Seth Godin cargo cult going on out there. If Seth says 'Hey! Stick pins in your eyes to enjoy success on the Social Web', you'll hear the sounds of screaming from all over Silicon Valley.

But I do have to take issue with the Sethmeister over this one. He says:

I hate going to the post office in the town next to mine. Every time I go, they look for a reason not to ship my package. "Too much tape!" "Not enough tape!" "There's a logo!"

The same thing happens with the tech crew before I give a speech. About 75% of the time, the lead tech guy (it always seems to be a guy) explains why it's impossible. Impossible to use a Mac, impossible to use the kind of microphone I like, impossible to use my own clicker, etc. And then, the rest of the time, using the same technology, the producer asks, "how can I help make this work for us?" and everything is about yes, not no.

To get the full effect, you'll have to go to his post - I shortened it.

Now here's where I got the issue. While I agree with the general (and, I thought, rather obvious) point that people who say 'yes' are nicer to deal with, and more successful, than people who say 'no' by default there is, as Berthold Brecht tells us, an exception and a rule.

Nearly every major conference event I have organised, moderated or otherwise been involved with has resulted in the appearance of the Last Minute Dick, or LMD.

The Last Minute Dick ignores all calls for papers, all emails asking speakers to please note down any special requirements and all requests for their PPTs and other materials before the event. The LMD will miss the speakers' briefing the day before because he's way too busy for that kind of thing.

And then he'll turn up on stage with less than an hour to go before the start of the event (always less than an hour, from 55 minutes to 15 minutes) holding his memory key with a 90 page PPT on it that integrates to five embedded videos, requires a simultaneous sound track to trigger using SMTP time coding and absolutely needs us to download and install SWIFF player from the Internet on the stage laptop. His videos will need the newest Vidalia Codec to be installed and support for Flash Version X, where X is the version above the one you actually have installed on the stage system.

He'll also need an intro video to be played from another file that will invariably crash the carefully pieced together sound/light integration that the team has been working all night on to ensure it's stable. It's on a Blu-Ray disk.

He'll pull a full John McEnroe on you when you tell him that you don't actually have Flash Version X.

"Whaat? What kind of two-bit penny-anny dump is this? Call yourself conference organisers? Jeez! Everyone got Flash X! And Blu-Ray? What do you MEAN you don't have a Blu-Ray player set up? I don't need to tell you to get a Blu-Ray player, surely? I mean, every organiser in the world has a spare Blu-Ray player! Do you know how often I speak at these things? Proper ones? In big cities? Do you? Do you? I mean, do you know who I am?'

Yes, I do. And you're a dick.

You can guarantee, by the way, that his requirements will ensure that something goes horribly wrong for the next speaker. And that you'll be around to hear him telling everyone who'll listen what complete gherkins you and your crummy company are for messing up the stage settings like that.

I'm with the guy on the stage, Seth. If you didn't tell 'em you want your own Mac, clicker or wombat on heat up there on stage, he's totally right to tell you 'no' when you pop up demanding it as the gig's about to start. And I'd back him for telling you to get off his stage, too. Because the event's always bigger than the one, lone and invariable LMD...

The Holiday That Wasn't There

Image via Wikipedia

It's Sunday! No Monday! No Sunday! No Monday!

Finally Gulf News puts the endless speculation to rest. The forthcoming one day national holiday on the occasion of the birthday of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) will take place on Saturday for the private sector and Sunday for the public sector.

(Sound of tyres screeching)

Hang on. Isn't the Prophet's birthday by custom celebrated on the 12th of Rabi Al Awwal, corresponding this year (Hijri 1430) to Monday the 9th of March 2009?

This new arrangement means that the UAE's private sector, which takes a Friday/Saturday weekend - the same as the public sector - will not get a day off at all. And nobody will take a day's holiday on the right day.

"We did not want to cause any interruption between the public and private sectors," UAE Minister of Labour Saqr Ghobash told Gulf News, explaining the reason why the change made the holiday 'more coherent' with the public sector holiday.

Oddly, he also told GN, "As far as I know, the majority of companies in the private sector have only one day off, which is Friday."

Why, then, if you are going to move the holiday to the wrong day at all, would you not give both public and private sectors the Sunday holiday? "Giving the holiday on Sunday would have caused another interruption in the holiday," Ghobash told GN's hard-eyed hack on the front line of the war against flibble.

So that's nice and clear, at least.

PS: We're taking Sunday anyway. Nyer Nyer Nyer Nyer Nyer...

The Gulf You Put Between Us

"We rallied round a flag that wasn't there,' Margaret Atwood is quoted as saying by today's glorious technicolour Gulf News*.

She has my absolute respect for the way she has handled the situation regarding the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature book ban issue with total integrity - and with self-effacing charm. The fact that she was misled so effectively in the first place and reacted in the way she did is unfortunate, if understandable.

The fuss over Geraldine Bedell's book, created in a large part one suspects by a certain Geraldine Bedell, does rather smell like a slightly inept but certainly cynical publicity stunt. But now it's over. The book wasn't banned; the book likely isn't really that interesting anyway.

Those of you who followed my posts on Harper Collins' authonomy will be aware of my views on big publishers and cynical behaviour. I do allow it to be a possibility that large corporate publishing companies will dissemble shockingly.

But what I do believe to be a shame is that Dubai has learned a lesson. While people have been preaching about censorship, Dubai has learned a new form of censorship. It's more insidious than banning books - it's banning the freedom to speak your mind.

I do believe (sorry, Isobel) that Festival Director Isobel Aboulhoul's letter declining Bedell's book be launched at the festival was naive. But she was direct and did give her honest views. Now we've learned not be direct or give our honest views. We can use weasel words so that we're being 'politically correct' rather than open ourselves to criticism in future. In fact, Atwood herself said in the Guardian:

"This happens every day at every festival in the world. Publishers always want to launch or feature their authors, and all festivals pick and choose. Usually, however - being experienced - they don't give the real reasons for their rejections. They don't say "It's a stinker" or "The local Christians will barbecue us". They say: "Not suitable for our purposes." They know that if they tell the truth, they'll be up to their noses in the merde.

First-time festivalite Abulhoul had not yet been hardened in the fire. She was candid. She sent her actual reactions in an email: publisher asked, publisher didn't get, here's why. She thought the exchange was frank and also confidential. She thought all parties were acting in good faith. Silly her. "

And so, in the name of freedom of expression, a little bit of freedom is taken away. We have learned to mask our true feelings. We have learned The New Censorship. We have learned that you have to use doublespeak.

So much more important than censorship in a 'culture of fear', this new way of not saying what you believe because of the repercussions...

*I've got bored with weighing Gulf News which is now pretty steady at around 640g. Would you believe that silly habit made it to the front page of The Financial Times? Sheesh!